c:\GiFsee Hugebutt.gif

c:\GiFsee Hugebutt.gif
Bad Sector(s) on disk C:\
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(A)bort (R)etry (L)ook at your own butt.

Datawaste Productions
Is
Proud to Present:

��
��۰��BAD SECTOR�۲��
��
��IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE!�۲��
��
��ISSUE II VOLUME I SERIES I ��
��

A feeble attempt at humor slightly related to anything
dealing with the online community.

STAFF

Editor in chief and
Sect. Of Defense candidate: Vince Lortho

Submitting Writers:
No one this month!
Solo act!

Volume 0 MARCH 1994 Number 0B
1 Amazing Intro Screen
2 First Political Statement (sort of)
3 FBI To the Rescue!
4 Final Exam From Hell
5 Taglines
6 Top Ten List
7 Leftovers
8 TOP SECRET

BAD SECTOR POLITICAL STATEMENT
(actually I found this somewhere on Fido)

Bill Clinton is my shepard, whom I do not want.
He maketh many lies about green pastures;
He leadeth me beside still factories.
He restoreth my doubt about the demoncratic party.
He leadeth me in the paths of socialism for his manesake.
Yea, I will walk through the valley of the shadow of debt;
And I will fear much evil for he is with me.
His wife and her staff may insure me.
He prepaest a tax hike for me.
That he might giveth presents to mine enemies.
He anointest my wages with inflation.
My expenses runneth over.
Surely poverty and hard times shall follow me
All the days of his administration,
And I will dwell in a rented HUD house forever.

Crossed Links.

The first issue is over. It was two weeks late for most people and had
numerous spelling errors. Re-releasing it after running the spell checker
didn't do much better. If this issue makes it on time it will be a miracle of
galcian proportions. I will have this issue ready by the end of the first week
of March and hopefully be on time by April. Enough of these rantings.

I found this document on a local BBS. It was called FBI magazine or
something like that. It had various articles by various FBI officials and law
enforcement personell. I found some interesting statistics. I will comment
with {Little French Brackets} when appropriate.

THE COMPUTER
HIGH-TECH INSTRUMENT OF CRIME
By
Michael G. Noblett
Chief
Document Analysis, Research, and Training Unit
FBI Laboratory
Washington, DC

The use of computers as criminal instruments or as devices
to collect information associated with criminal enterprises
increases yearly. Criminals use computers to store data
relating to drug deals, money laundering, embezzlement, mail
fraud, extortion, and a myriad of other crimes. In addition to
the simple storage of records, criminals also manipulate data,
infiltrate computers of financial institutions, and illegally
use telephone lines of unsuspecting businesses.

Statistics suggest that the law enforcement community must
act quickly and decisively to meet the challenge presented by
the criminal use of computers. For example:

. Over 4.7 million personal computers were sold in the
United States in 1988, as compared with 386,500 in 1980

{4.7 million computers at let's
say 2500$ a computer= 11,750,000,000$ OK.}

. An estimated 60 percent of personal computers are now
networked

. $500 million is lost annually through illegal use of
telephone access codes
{Ok, I'll believe that}

. $1 trillion is moved electronically each week, and
^^^^^^^^is this a typo?

{1,000,000,000,000 a week
52 weeks a year.
52,000,000,000,000 a year

the federal deficit is about
4.5 trillion now.

If the FBI could catch 8% of this
1 Trillion a week crime and put it
towards the deficit then the deficit
would be eliminated in one year.

1 trillion is a lot of cash.
it could buy
400,000,000 computers 2,500$ each
<population of US about 275 million>

40,000,000 25,000$ cars.
4,000,000 250,000$ homes

remember that these hackers usually like
electronics and things they can sell.

4,000,000,000 250$ stereos

This is just for one week!

Yearly:
2,080,000,000 cars at 25000$ each.

If these computer hackers would buy American
cars instead of electronics we would destroy
Japanese auto market in a week.

OR

This figure is completely bogus and marked up
so this guys budget will pass and he won't be
out of a job. I just wanted to post this to show
how the government figures numbers. No wonder the
deficit is 4.? trillion dollars.

Joke: What is a gougleplex?

Punch: the goal of the deficit.}

. Only 11 percent of computer crime is reported.

While the law enforcement community, in general, often
thinks of computer crime as high-tech crime, a growing segment
of the population looks at computers and the data they store as
nothing more than electronic paper. They feel very comfortable
keeping their records, whether legal or illegal, in this format.

In order to address the legitimate need for access to
computers and the information they contain, law enforcement must
develop a structured approach to examine computer evidence.
^^^^^^^^{More money!!!!}
The examination of this evidence can provide investigative and
intelligence information, and at the same time, preserve the
information for subsequent admission in court.

{this document made me laugh out loud for many an hour)

Thought your exams were tough!
Read on.

Final Examination

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit is four hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the
present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively,
on its social, political, economic, religious, and
philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.
Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of
gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do
not suture until your work has been inspected. You have
15 minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot crazed aborigines are storming the
classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient
language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
development if this form of life had developed 500 million
years earlier, with special attention to its probable
effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your
thesis.

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Perform it with flute and drum. You
will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed
frustrations of each of the following; Alexander of
Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammuraby.
Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's
work, making appropriate references. It is not
necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany
the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test
your theory.

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE: Define management. Define science. How do they
relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to
optimize all management decisions. Assuming an
1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal
to activate your algorithm independently, design
the communications interface and all necessary
control programs.

ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high powered rifle have
been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find
an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten
minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the
room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate and
be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national
debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the
following areas; Cubism, the Donationist Controversy, and
the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for
preventing those effects, criticize this method from all
points of view, and point out the deficiencies of your
point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last
question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There's a red telephone on the desk beside you.
Start World War III. Report at length on its
socio-political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the
validity of your position.

PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics
on science.

PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other
kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

EXTRA CREDIT: Define the universe. Give three examples.

"I am Clinton of Borg. Hillary says resistance is futile!"

I'm not a real UFO, but I play one one Fido.

He's dead Jim..get off of him!

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

I've found stranger things than that in a cereal box.

:.::: ::..: ::.::. :..:: Tagline in Braille

Call the Liberal Hot Line - 1-976-WEL-FARE ($10 per min)

If your mind goes blank, remember to turn off the sound.

640k = 4480 in dog bytes.

As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.

Black holes were created when God divided by zero.

Buy a 486-33 so you can reboot faster.

I love my country but I fear my government.

9 out of 10 rotweilers prefer Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hello, I am part number ��޺��۳�ݳ�ݳ�

Top 10 Signs You've Gone To a Bad Hypnotist - July 23, 1992

10. When you come to, he's wearing your clothes.
9. You now own 19 Juice Tigers.
8. Days after your appointment, strangers come up to you on the street
saying how much they enjoyed you in that live-sex show.
7. Everywhere you look: giant, whistling squirrels.
6. He tells you your wallet is blocking the alpha rays - better let
him hold it.
5. He says, "You're getting very... uh... slippery - no, that's not
it."
4. Anytime someone says the word "hello" you find yourself naked in
Syracuse.
3. Suddenly you remember him from shop class.
2. Instead of tapping into your subconscious, he just waits for you
to doze off and then yells stuff at you.
1. You wake up married to Doug Henning.

Our Official distribution sites:

Places I can be reached:

Internet:

Anonymous FTP site: ftp.erinet.com
/pub/badsectr/Bad_Sector :Bad Sector Mags
/pub/badsectr/Patriot : Patriot Archive

Email for letters and submissions: [email protected]
Anonymous submissions: [email protected]

-=United States=-

--Ohio--
Scotts Place BBS
(513)236-9771 v.32bis 19.2 Acct: Vince Lortho
(513)237-9776 v.32bis 14.4 Note: Great BBS
(513)236-9786 v.32bis 19.2 4 CD's + 1.3 gigs
Sysop: Scott Brown
Fido: 1:110/615
------------------------------------------------------------------
Wolverines lair
(513)422-9652 USR HST DS 16.8 Acct: Bad Sector
Sysop: Peter Mengel Note: Renegade
Fido: 1:110/525 alpha site.
------------------------------------------------------------------
CCS
(513)424-2495 Boca 14.4 Acct: BAD SECTOR
Sysop: Paul Sink Note: Only BBS where
Fido: 1:110:??? I paid money to!
------------------------------------------------------------------
J&J's BBS
(513)233-0917 (5 lines) Acct: Bad Sector
Sysop: Joseph Caplinger & Joe Jr. Note: Great BBS
Fido: <<No Fido>> First Distro site!
2.3 gigs Total
------------------------------------------------------------------
Personal Payphone (513)743-9324 Ask for Piss Boy

If you give over $100.00 donations I will write a two page
Add-on how much of a great person you are and give you a floppy disk
Chock full o' Bad Sectors.

If Your BBS wants to be a disttibution Site (I don't know why?) then
Email me on these fine BBS's or Internet above or try to hunt down my
Phone #.

If you can get it I'll listen to ya. I only allow two BBS's in one area.
I may allow one more Dayton BBS but only if they give me Leech status on
their BBS. This magazine may be going onto the Internet. I not sure yet.
Also I may have a couple of Groupies in Penn. and Belgium. I really don't
expect this Mag to go this far. I have heard rumors that Aliens abducted
someone while reading this Mag and they have decided to invade. I contacted
Zeta Reticuli II and they told me that it was a hoax and relations with
the Democratic party are still intact.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to
real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where
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Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not
use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to
sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable
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change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage
necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the
forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use
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not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not
responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At
participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use.
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not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid
contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher
west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not
eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some
questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure
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solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
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digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned
in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record
additional transactions on back of previous stub.

This supersedes all previous notices.