________________________________
/| |
/ | The United Ignorance Front |
| | |
| | presents |
| |-------------------------------|
| | |
| | FAX MACHINE FUN |
| | |
| |-------------------------------|
| | written by: The Iocat |
| |-------------------------------|
| | this article originally |
| | appeard in |
| | |
| | THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS |
| |"the official voice of the UIF"|
| |-------------------------------|
| | |
| |this article is (c) 1989 by the|
| |UIF. All rights reserved. This|
| |file may be distributed un-|
| |altered exclusivly in the modem|
| |community. (if you feel a dire|
| |need to put your BBS's # on it|
| |do it at the end) |
| |_______________________________|
| / /
|/_______________________________/
INTRO-
In the late 80's we have seen a massive explosion in the popularity
of fax machines. Everyone has one. They are cheap, easy to use,
and very usefull. Up untill now, however, they have been almost
exclusivly in the province of the buisness world. Just for those
of you who have been in comas for the last few years, I'll explain
fax machines to you. Fax machines are combination
scanners/modems/printers. You can transmit the contents of a
piece of paper to another fax over the phone lines. Usually,
your fax also prints the number you called from on the first
sheet of the transmittal. It is easy to see why buisnesses like
these. No longer content with Federal Express, now letters can
go cross country in minutes. Faxes have about 200-250 dpi resolution,
and print out on rolls of thermal paper. For some odd reason, most of
them are 4800 baud.
THE GOOD PART-
"So what" you ask? Most people don't seem to realize the potential
available here. When I worked at The FHLB, we used to get faxes
all the time, with requests for checks. Occaisionaly, we also got
short notes from the idiots at the other banks. This is what gave
me the idea for what I call, for lack of a better term, Fax Piracy.
Fax Piracy is the ultimate crank call. Let me give you an example.
There was this Library I hated, and, like everyone else, they have
a fax. So what me and a few of my freinds did was send them
requests, "from" another Library for books. I found out later,
from a kid who worked there that they wasted about $50, sending
them all the books. Not much, but if you know how cheap librarians
are, you can imagine the shit fits they had. Next, we send them a
"Mobius Fax" we got some sheets of black construction paper, taped
about 10 of them together, and started feeding them through the fax.
Once the start of the long sheet we had created came through, we taped
it to the end. This went on continuosly for about 15 minutes untill
their (very expensive) thermal paper ran out. Since we had sent them
nothing but black paper, it completely covered and ruined all of their
paper. This used up their 3month paper allocation at once, and they
had to borrow from petty cash to buy more. Finally we sent them a
little note, telling them what idiots they were, and signing it
"the fax pirates"
HOW TO DO IT-
First, and this is VERY IMPORTANT- Always remember to REPROGRAM the fax
so it displays someone elses name and number. If you forget to do
this, its like sending a letter bomb with a return adress. Second,
decide what to send. This is entirely up to you (duh) , and depends
on whether you want to annoy them, or really destroy them.*
Wierd requests from other campies you hate, long rambling stories,
or strange art is always good. Be a little creative. (this part is
especially fun if you have a Mac, and access to a laserwriter)
Third, send it. (wow, some people need to be told everything,
don't they) What? You don't know their fax #? Its not in
information? Its not in the phone book? Well, keep reading!
HOW TO GET FAX PHONE NUMBERS-
This is just way easier than it should be. Call and ask.
I'm serious, we've done this probably over 30 times, and
NO ONE HAS EVER QUESTIONED OUR REQUEST! I'll give you a sample
of a call that actually happened. (this is verbatum)(we taped it)
IBM LADY Hello, IBM, may I help you?
ME Hi, this is Biff Fulgate from over here at Linear Data Systems
Can I get your fax number, those boys in research need to send
something over and they lost the number again.
IBM LADY Please hold on a moment
ME Sure thing. Hah, those cooks over in research would probably
lose their heads if they wern't screwed on.
IBM LADY Haha. Now is that the Tower 700 number?
ME Um...let me check here... Yeah, that's it. (Tower 700? what?)
IBM LADY Ok, hold on
(Long wait during which I get slightly nervous)
IBM LADY Ok That number is 313-xxx-xxxx
ME Thanks, Bye
Also, most ads have fax numbers. Don't fuck with little companies
though. A) they don't need it, B) they are probably more suspicious,
C) it hurts them more than it would hurt a big company. be a
caring capitolist. If you need any suggestions as to who's number to
get try the following- newspapers, radios stations, big companies,
libraries, city & state governments, the right to life movement,
ect.
HINTS-
Act like you know whats going on at all times.
Be polite, and a little bit familiar
Make sure you have a plausable reason for getting the number
Don't laugh
Let the person who sounds most 'adult-like' make the call
Make sure you have a plausable name
Remember, the larger the company, the less the people know and care
about other parts of the company, so the greater chance you have of not
getting hassled. ALSO! Don't forget to change the "number" you are
calling from. If you want to send a Mobius Fax, usually Faxes have paper
feed trays (we didn't know that when we did it)
ALSO- NEVER, EVER, DO THIS TO ATT!
HOW TO GET A FAX TO USE-
Well, if you don't have one, try mommy's or daddy's office. Most
Campus offices have faxes you can pretend that you are supposed
to be using (tell them the Library sent you). Many print-shops
(like Kinko's) have fax machines that you can use for a nominal
fee. And, just like terminals in the early 80's, most fax
machines are just sitting out in offices, if you dress nicely,
and look like you know what you're doing, no one is going to
ask questions.
SOME NUMBERS TO CALL-
I have a pretty good list of #'s that you can call, but I will upload
it in a different file, at a later date.
IF YOU LIKED THIS FILE-
Please send a host of annoying faxes to your local
"Right to Life" chapter.
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*-- for really good info on how to really fuck up a company with mail, or
faxes, I reccomend Keith Wade's POISON PEN LETTERS & YOUR REVENGE IS IN
THE MAIL both available from the Loompanics Book Catalog (see my file on
that for the adress)
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the above article is fiction and any similarity between it and real
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