It starts when a big, dumb lummox rudely insults you. Being of a
rational, intelligent disposition, you wisely choose to avoid a
(direct) confrontation. But as he laughs in your face, you smile
inwardly---your revenge is already planned.
Step 1: follow your victim to his locker, car, or house. Once you have
chosen
your target site, lay low for a week or more, letting your anger
boil.
Step 2: in the mean time, assemble your versatile terrorist
kit(details below.)
Step 3: plant your kit at the desig- nated target site on a monday
morning between the hours of 4:00 am and 6:00 am. Include a
calm, suggestive note that quietly hints at the possibility
of another attack. Do not write it by hand! An example of
an effective note:
"don't be such a jerk, or the next one will
take off your hand. Have a nice day."
Notice how the calm tone instills fear. As if written by a
homicidal psychopath.
Step 5: choose a strategic location overlooking the target site. Try
to position yourself in such a way that you can see his
facial contortions.
Step 6: sit back and enjoy the fireworks!
Assembly of the versatile, economic, and effective terrorist kit #1:
the parts you'll need are:
1) 4 aa batteries
2) 1 9-volt battery
3) 1 spdt mini relay (radio shack)
4) 1 rocket engine(smoke bomb or m-80)
5) 1 solar ignitor (any hobby store)
6) 1 9-volt battery connector
step 1: take the 9-volt battery and wire it through the relay's coil.
This circuit should also include a pair of contacts that when
separated cut off this circuit. These contacts should be
held together by trapping them between the locker,mailbox, or
car door. Once the door is opened, the contacts fall apart
and the 9-volt circuit is broken, allowing
the relay to fall to the closed postion thus closing the
ignition circuit. (If all this is confusing take a look at
the schematic below.)
Step 2: take the 4 aa batteries and
wire them in succession. Wire the positive terminal of one
to the negative terminal of another, until all four are
connected except one positive terminal and one negative
terminal. Even though the four aa batteries only combine to
create 6 volts, the increase in amperage is necessary to
activate the solar ignitor quickly and effectively.
Step 3: take the battery pack (made in step 2) and wire one end of it
to the relay's single pole and the other end to one prong of
the solar ignitor. Then wire the other prong of the solar
ignitor back to the open position on the relay.
Step 4: using double sided carpet tape mount the kit in his locker,
mailbox, or car door. And last, insert the solar ignitor
into the rocket engine (smoke bomb or m-80).
Your kit is now complete!
---------><---------
I (CONTACTS) I
I I
I --- (9 VOLT)
I - (BATTERY)
I ---
I I
I (COIL) I
------///////-------
/-----------
/ I
/ I
/ I
(SWITCH) I I
I I
I --- (BATTERY)
I - ( PACK )
I ---
I I
I I
---- -----
I I
*
(SOLAR IGNITOR)
eof
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