XYZZYnews Issue #19
http://www.xyzzynews.com/
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Contents:
** Hollow Voice
** Top 10 Picks for IF on the Web
** Letters
** An Interview with Andy Phillips
(author of Heroine's Mantle)
** 2000 XYZZY Awards Ceremony Transcript,
Abridged Version
**Bulletin Board: readers helping other readers
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HOLLOW VOICE
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Dear readers,
Long time no e-mail! I've enjoyed running into more of you online while
updating the XYZZYnews Web site instead of issuing the (very) occasional
newsletter, but I still receive much clamoring for the newsletter as
well. So without further ado... it's back!
Let me share a couple of updates: In the interest of continuing with
regular updates, I've decided to cease distributing the PDF version of
the newsletter. I used to always lay out each issue in QuarkXpress first
and create the PDF file from that, then extract the text for the ASCII
version, then hand-code the HTML version. There are always far more
subscribers to the ASCII version, of course, and with the site's
increasing popularity it's become too hard to justify the time and
resources it would take me to continue with the PDF version.
Speaking of labors of love, I'd like to insert a quick plug for my two
new books, both of which have been released in 2001:
Free-Commerce: The Ultimate Guide to E-Business on a Budget
(co-authored with Jared T. Rubin)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0130337676/xyzzynews2/sr=2-1/102-3735871-3132166
Inside the Adobe Photoshop 6 Studio
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0761528849/xyzzynews2/102-3735871-3132166
In this issue you'll find an interview with Andy Phillips, author of
Heroine's Mantle, and an abridged blow-by-blow of the announcing of the
XYZZY awards for games released in 2000, along with more of your letters
and requests for help in tracking down old favorites.
Let me also add a quick note of thanks to Andrew Plotkin (for hanging
out at the Regulator bookshop) and Stephen Granade for his suggestions
for things to do during my trip last month to Durham, NC.
Until next issue, happy gaming!
Eileen Mullin
[email protected]
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Issue # 19 Top 10 Picks for
Interactive Fiction on the Web
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The Best of Interactive Fiction
http://www.igs.net/~tril/if/best/
Degeneracy
http://www.crummy.com/devel/if/degeneracy/
Frobozz Magic Video Poker
http://webpages.csus.edu/~sac59848/software/fmvpoker.html
Frobozz Electric WebSite #50809
http://www.chrisco.mb.ca/zork/
The IF Beta Site Info Page
http://www.textfire.com/beta.html
IF Finder
http://www.corknut.org/ifFinder/
Just Adventure
http://www.justadventure.com/
PalmPilot Entertainment Zone Interactive Games
http://www.fortunecity.com/underworld/rpg/22/
tangledWeb
http://sites.netscape.net/jools42/ent/if.html
Ye Olde Infocom Shoppe
http://www.if-legends.org/~yois/
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LETTERS
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Hi!
The XYZZYnews are great. I've got a palm PDA and download
the XYZZYnews via AvantGo to my PDA. his works, but the links
on the left side are quite "disturbing" the page on the PDA.
They are shown on top. I wanted to get the ASCII format news,
but the URL changes, so I can´t download it automatically.
My question: is there a never-changing URL to the ASCII version?
Kind regards,
-- Harry Dietz
Eileen: You can find all of the ASCII files on the XYZZYnews site.
The naming convention for these files' URLs is
http://www.xyzzynews.com/XYZZYnn.TXT, where "nn" is the issue number.
Issue 1 is at
http://www.xyzzynews.com/XYZZY1.TXT, and issue 18 is
at
http://www.xyzzynews.com/XYZZY18.TXT. Hope his helps!
----------------------------------------------------
Dear XYZZYnews,
Here are some bugs in the Zork trilogy that I didn't see mentioned in
XYZZYnews. The majority of these bugs are in Zork 1, involving moving to
another room and typing "g". Some of these bugs allow you to cheat.
(This is probably a feature originally meant only for Zork 2 when you
attack the dragon, move to another room, then attack him again by
typing "g".)
1. THE STILETTO BUG. When you encounter the thief "finding nothing of
value" and leaving disgruntled, type "take stiletto". The thief will
still swing it out of your reach, but then if you type "g" on the next
move, Zork will reply "Taken". You have the stiletto but you don't have
it. You can still dispose of the phantom stiletto by dumping it down the
chasm, or hide it in a closed container such as the empty buoy. Then,
when you enter the Treasure Room for your final showdown with the
thief, he can still disorient you or wound you, but he can't defend
himself. Unless he disorients you or has picked up the axe or the sword,
you can kill the thief on the first try. The "take stiletto" bug will
also work when the thief is "casually leaning against one of the walls".
Here, the procedure is slightly different. After attempting to take the
stiletto, move into an adjacent room, then type "g". However, you risk
getting killed if you try this early in the game. Of course it won't
work if you're carrying too many things. It will work SOMETIMES if he
walks by and steals your treasures as he passes through.
1a. You can use a similar trick to get the chalice while the thief is
alive and fighting. It is preferable to do this if the Strange Passage
has been opened. Be sure you are "strong enough to take several wounds",
then enter the Treasure Room and attempt to take the chalice. It will be
impossible. Go to the Living room by typing "d.e.e". Then type "g". You
have now snatched the chalice by remote control! This time your
inventory will even indicate that you have it. Put it in the case. If
you type the "g" while still in the dark dungeon, especially if you are
taking the long way around through the maze, chances are that the thief
will steal back his chalice, and it won't re-appear when you kill him,
since the game's creators never thought such bizarre tricks were
possible.
2. THE BAT BUG. Are you tired of schlepping all the way down into the
bowels of the coal mine to get the pile of coal, then dragging it all
the way back up to the basket? Enter the Bat Room with the garlic, drop
it, then type "take figurine and bat", in that order. When you attempt
to take the bat, Zork will reply: "You can't reach him...". Move out to
the Shaft Room or the Squeaky Room, then save the game. Type "g". The
bat will carry you to a random room in the mine, the way he does if you
enter the Bat Room sans the garlic (even though you are no longer in the
Bat Room)! Keep restoring and typing "g" until he takes you to the
Ladder Bottom. (This only seems to work once). If you try this again
during your second visit to the coal mine, it seems that the Ladder Top
is as close to the bottom of the mine that you can short-cut to. Still,
it will save you a few moves, and some battery power in your lantern.
3. THE GRUE ELIMINATOR BUG. Has the battery in your lamp just about
burned out? You can illuminate every room in the dungeon, except the
Stream and the dark spots on the Frigid River. Go to the Maintenance
Room and push the red button. If the lights in the room are already on,
push the button, then type "g". Use only single or double-letter compass
movements to move to the dark rooms (the Dam Lobby, Dam and Dam Base are
already lit). As you enter a dark room, such as the Reservoir South,
when you type "g", the lights in the room will come on (even though
there is no red button in there)! If all the obstacles, such as the huge
drop from the railing in the Dome Room or the deep lake behind the dam
are hurdled, you can light up almost every room this way, even the
Drafty Room and the Machine Room, if you illuminate a path from the
Maintenance Room to the Living Room, making sure the dam is open, then
drop everything and push the red button again, or twice, then repeating
the movement and the "g" until you've reached the rooms beyond the
Timber Room. However, this is very risky in the Treasure Room if you
haven't vanquished the thief yet, because, though the thief will be
"frozen" in the lit room, the chalice will disappear and you may not be
able to get it.
4. THE TRAP DOOR BUG. Can't find an exit from the dungeon besides the
chimney? As the trap door locks after you, try to open it. It will be
"locked from above". Move to East of Chasm or the Troll Room, only if
you've already done away with the Troll. Then type "g". The trap door
will open, as if by remote control.
5. THE TROLL BUG. Is the troll putting up one of his rare tough fights?
After you attack the troll the first time, move back into the cellar or
even further back to East of Chasm, and you can "g"-fight him by remote
control. He can then only defend himself; he can't attack you. As he
dies, he will leave the axe in the room you moved to, rather than the
Troll Room. The only catch here is that the thief might show up
unexpectedly and kill you while you're attempting to kill the troll by
remote-control. To play it safe, you can move into the Gallery, which is
lit. The thief is never seen in rooms that contain light (though he can
still pick up objects from those rooms).
6. THE FLOOD BUG. Ever try to get in the boat in the Maintenance Room
when you've pushed the blue button? Somehow this makes the boat float
down the river and over the falls, but if this happens after you've been
to the Altar, if you re-enter the Maintenance Room in the "dead mode",
the boat is still there! It went over the falls but it didn't go over
the falls. For your amusement, you can hang around in the M.R. until the
water is over your head, then be "killed while already dead"! The boat
will also be carried "down the river and over the falls" if you push the
blue button and then board the boat in the Dam Lobby or the Dam. In
these cases, how- ever, you can resurrect yourself at the Altar, return
to the Dam area, and re-use the boat (which is impossible if the boat
was in the M.R.).
7. THE SEMI-DEAD BUG. If you've been to the altar, then wake or attack
the Cyclops, then continually try to tell the Cyclops to go "n" or any
direction, you will "die", yet you are still in the Cyclops Room! He
will leave the room but he won't leave the room. If you try to go up to
the Treasure Room, he will still block your way, but "You can't see any
Cyclops here!" You are now in the Semi-dead mode. If you diagnose
yourself, you are in perfect health, having been killed once or twice,
yet if you subsequently jump off a cliff, or commit another
still-possible suicide, it is another way to be "killed while already
dead"! You are still carrying your possessions and can still drop them
but you can't pick anything up. As you enter the dome room, you will
still fly over the railing, but you cannot restore yourself to full life
by praying at the altar! You can still open or close doors or objects
and use tools still in your possession. As in the regular dead mode, you
don't need a light source, but the rooms are not described as
"indistinct, ...unreal..."
8. THE "CUT" BUG. You needn't be holding a sharp object in order to cut
a cuttable object. The sharp object can merely be in the room for this
to work.
9. THE MIRROR BUG. Rub or touch the mirror, go to a room such as the
Treasure Room or the Bat Room, type "g" and you will discover some WEIRD
displacements of characters or objects in the room.
10. THE CANARY BUG. This one is totally non-beneficial; do it only for
amusement. After you've collected all the treasures and scored 350,
take the egg from the case. Go back to the tree and take the nest. Put
the egg in it. Close the nest and drop it from the tree. The nest will
somehow wind up back on the branch and the egg will be damaged, with AN
EXTRA RUINED CANARY spilling out of it. Pick up the broken treasures and
bring them back to the trophy case. Put them in. You will now have
burned two of the 350 points. Look in the case and you will see both the
GOLDEN and the BROKEN clockwork canary!
Zork 2 [Version 48 (1)] Zork 2 is another Infocom Adventure (besides
Zork 0) where it is actually possible to overscore the maximum. If you
give the demon all the required treasures plus the sword, you can finish
the game scoring 402 points (maximum 400).
Zork 3 [Release 17 (1)] I don't know if this is a bug or deliberate.
Sometimes I can do everything right in the Jewel Room in the year 776,
but once in a rare while, while I'm waiting for the guards to leave, a
guard will burst in and fry me, and unless I've saved the game just
prior to going back in time, that particular game is over.
--
[email protected]
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AN INTERVIEW WITH ANDY PHILLIPS
by Jonathan Blask (
[email protected])
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Andy Phillips has earned quite a reputation in the IF community for
writing long games, oftentimes filled with plot twists and devious
puzzles. His dedication to genre-based stories emulates the Infocom
library of games, and his progress as both author and programmer offers
an enlightening view into game design and the visceral experience of IF.
His latest piece, Heroine's Mantle, is a superhero(ine) tale set in a
futuristic society.
XYZZYnews: First off, why such long games?
Phillips: Well, the main reason is probably that my favourite IF games
are the longer puzzle-based ones, such as Curses, Jigsaw, the Mulldoon
Legacy. Also, most of the stories I come up with seem more suited to
longer games than short ones. The shorter games, such as the ones
entered into the [annual IF] competition, tend either not to be
story-based or have very short stories. Longer games probably gain more
appreciation
with an IF audience, I think, since they tend to be rare, although other
authors besides myself have begun to write longer games over the last
few years (Varicella and Mulldoon being obvious examples).
XYZZYnews: What books, movies, or games would you consider an
inspiration and have had an effect on your style of story-telling?
Phillips: I think that action/adventure movies have probably been the
main inspiration, although Enemies obviously has links with the horror
genre, Heist with films involving elaborate robbery schemes, and TATCTAE
has cyberpunk/sci-fi themes. When creating situations for the player, I
am very much in favour of there being something at stake, or a sense of
immediate danger, to create the image that the player is actually there,
rather than a spectator. I think this works well in Heroine, although
with my earlier games I was still experimenting.
XYZZYnews: Please describe your writing process. What kind of planning
is involved? What do you do to keep the coding momentum going?
Phillips: I come up with ideas all the time, but it takes me a while to
knit them together into a coherent storyline, and then I normally make
several abortive attempts at writing a mini-introduction (the prologue)
before I come up with something I feel I can develop further. Once
that's out of the way, I plan out the main structure of the game and
around half of the puzzles. I tend to write games in chapters (this
structure is very evident in Heist and Heroine), and some of the puzzles
I develop and introduce as I go. I think it would be very hard for me to
design a complete, whole game before I started because the task of
coding would seem so unbearingly huge. Maybe this isn't as much of a
problem with short games-- I wouldn't know! As far as keeping the coding
momentum goes, the feeling of satisfaction when you finish the game is
wonderful, particularly with larger games like the ones I've written. At
times, you wonder if people will enjoy the finished product, but the
ambition to create a "classic" of the genre drives me on. The jury's
still out on Heroine, at the moment, but it seems to have gone down
pretty well, which is a relief.
XYZZYnews: What are your thoughts on your games? What were you trying
to do with each and how do you think you succeeded? Do any hold a
special place in your heart?
Phillips: Well, TACTAE was very much my first dip in the water with
Inform. I'd tried a couple of other IF languages, before realising I
needed something more powerful and Inform wasn't as difficult as it
initially looked. Time began as a small project, but just snowballed. I
was very much making up the story as I went along, which I think is the
main reason for its linear nature. As was pointed out in several
reviews, the game had many problems to say the least, and in retrospect
it was a tad difficult (OK, nigh-on impossible).
With Heist, I was trying to create a more lenient, open-ended game, with
multiple paths, but I think I perhaps lost some of the edge Time had,
and ended up with a series of abstract puzzles which probably didn't sit
that easily with the story. Although puzzle fans generally enjoyed
Heist, there was still quite a lot of criticism levelled at this. I
think the IF community was, at the time, beginning to move away from the
traditional Curses-puzzle style.
For my third game, Enemies, I wanted to bring the puzzles more in line
with the story, and recreate some of TATCTAE's tension. I thought the
horror genre would be a suitable choice, and tried to create a
slasher-flick style scenario. I think my main fault with this game was
an obscure beginning, and people tended not to get past the apartment.
Also, one of two of the puzzles were, looking at them today, very harsh
and required knowledge from outside the game.
I was still determined to create a blend of puzzle/story, and for
Heroine I decided to create an "easy" game with plenty on hints written
into the text itself. I'd realised there weren't very many suphero(ine)
games around (strangely, there was an article on this at the mining co.
site just as I started writing), so I went along that path. I thought
this gave me the potential to create interesting characters, and perhaps
give this style of game some serious undertones as a contrast to the
past, comedy-orientated games in this genre. I still feel there is more
room for development in this style of game, although I probably won't be
writing one for a while (PhD studies, and all).
XYZZYnews: The interesting thing about "Enemies" is that the
protagonist's tragic flaw is both the catalyst for the plot and also a
source of comedy. Care to comment on this?
Phillips: The comedy aspect wasn't entirely intentional, although it
probably turned out that way with the overblown finale. With the "tragic
flaw", I think I was trying to imply that people who have enemies
probably deserve them through actions they took in the past, although
psychos sometimes just go on a rampage for the hell of it, and generally
make twisted arguments and do away with innocent people. Perhaps this
was meant to be a parody of the modern self-knowing horror genre. I
don't really know.
XYZZYnews: You've also had a couple games in which the protagonist is a
female, which is kind of rare. Any thoughts on this?
Phillips: I actually think I write female characters perhaps better than
the male ones, although this is reflected more in the NPCs than the PCs.
People have probably noticed that women characters feature prominently
in most of my games. I confess I am a fan of "action babe" type
characters in the movies, and am rather disappointed by the lack of
them. Perhaps I'm sending my own private message to Hollywood that such
characters are cool and deserve more recognition. Also, traditional
romantic, timid, and innocent female types are rather boring in my
opinion. Still, I suppose tastes differ from person to person.
Also, female PCs tend not to be as rare as they once were. I can only
recall one Infocom game, Plundered Hearts, having a female-specific PC,
although some (such as LGOP) allowed you to choose your gender at the
outset of the game. Women are associated with the brains-over-brawn
approach, with seems to fit well with my puzzles. It's much more
interesting to use one's wits than one's strength, I think.
XYZZYnews: In my opinion, a lot of your games have a very cinematic feel
to them, apparent throughout the plot and in endgames, especially. I'd
guess that this is intentional. How do you think that relates to the
gaming experience?
Phillips: As I mentioned before, I'm generally trying to involve the
player more, making them feel as they are actually in the situation
themselves. The difficulties are that, for instance fight scenes, tend
to be difficult to create in IF. The danger is that this becomes a
guess-the-verb, die if you get it wrong puzzle, and can become quite
linear. On the other hand, it's an avenue of IF which probably hasn't
been explored much, and the IF audience tends to enjoy experiments and
the varying approaches of different orders. Puzzleless IF doesn't really
appeal to me, although puzzle-fests are probably not very original to
most people. I'm attempting to strike a balance with my works, and
perhaps create the feeling of a gripping spy novel which has you eager
to flick over the pages, if you know what I mean.
XYZZYnews: How do you feel about hints and walkthroughs, writing games
that usually bring a barrage of hint requests to rec.games.int-fiction?
Phillips: I'm not a fan of putting hints in the games themselves, as
people have probably gathered already. I wouldn't have had any room in
Heroine's Mantle, anyway. I don't intend to create barrages of hint
requests, though. I tend to think my games are easier than they probably
are, and so the amount of responses are sometimes unexpected. I must
admit though, I enjoy the discussion it creates about my games, and
perhaps this brings us on to the oft-discussed point that events seem to
centre around the competition and not focus on the longer games which
ironically, take much more work to complete. That said, it was good to
see the discussion on some of the longer games like LASH this year, and
perhaps the IF book club/review conspiracy goes someway to making the
experience of writing longer games more rewarding.
XYZZYnews: What are your plans for the future?
Phillips: For the next year, I'll be busy with my PhD thesis, so I'll
not be doing another IF game until 2002. I've got a few ideas in my head
about what I might do next, but I'm still working on fleshing them out.
I was thinking of maybe expanding the idea of Heroine's Mantle
(characters with abilities etc.) into controlling several protoganists
with different "powers" (a la Suspended, but more technically advanced).
Perhaps maybe an espionage plot, with a bit of sci-fi mixed in. I'm
rather fond of implementing action movie kind-of ideas into IF, so I'll
probably continue in this vein.
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2000 XYZZY AWARDS CEREMONY TRANSCRIPT,
ABRIDGED VERSION
(Transcribed by PerrySimm)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The award ceremony for the best games of 2000 in 10 categories was
held on Sunday, March 11 on the ifMUD (accessible via telnet or
with a MUD client at ifmud.port4000.com 4000). If you missed it,
read on to see said what when. In the interest of readability,
this abridged transcript omits most of the MUD users' arrivals
and exits, and applause (save for whooping it up at the end...)
Massive Auditorium
This auditorium is an impressive architectural feat: big enough to
contain the crowds with ease, yet cozy enough to make everyone feel as
though they have a perfect view of the stage. The stage itself is framed
by enormous golden pillars to either side (labelled "2000" and "XYZZYs",
respectively), and up at the front is a podium decorated with mystic
runes inlaid in silver. Spotlights overhead swivel to illuminate the
people up on stage and the murals of famous IF scenes on the walls,
while the rows of velvet-covered seats all around look cushioned and
comfortable. Should you feel compelled to leave the show for some
reason, the exit doors are to the west.
You can see: READ THIS PLEASE, Note for the Xyzzy awards, a chalkboard
listing the winners
inky says, "anyway -- welcome to the 2000 XYZZY Awards, everyone!"
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon says, "Who won last year? I don't remember."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to dilbon), "several people"
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "Given the lag, I'm surprised these aren't
the 1997 awards"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to adam), "hee"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "I guess mud-time really *is* fifteen
minutes slow. Someone set the clock back."
[peanut-gallery] markm says, "Heh."
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says (to zarf), "Preserving the fifteen minutes
of fame the xyzzy awards bring."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to adam), "it's march 2001, so we ARE
lagged if these are the 2000 awards"
[peanut-gallery] ander exclaims, "Wow. My first big event is teh Xyzzy
awards!"
inky says, "before we begin, a couple administrative notes--"
[peanut-gallery] BoingBall says, "Your next big event will be the next
XYZZY awards."
Rob boos.
inky says, "first of all, NO BOOING"
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks (of inky), "Who left their headlights on?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "COUGH"
inky says, "unless you're a ghost"
[peanut-gallery] Mona says (to maga_dogg), "hey, that's my line"
BrenBarn asks, "The use of recording devices is strictly prohibited by
copyright law?"
inky says, "(like me)"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent asks, "Boo! What kind of rule is that?"
[peanut-gallery] (from Gunther) Doe'sGhost boos.
neild exclaims (at inky), "Yay! I mean, boo!"
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon exclaims, "Go for the eyes, Boo!"
[peanut-gallery] JDubya goes and turns off the headlights to his tank.
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says, "throws small snack items at inky"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "Oh, and remember, everyone: this channel
is logged."
inky says, "second of all, please keep general chit-chat on the
#peanut-gallery channel (see help channels for details on channels), and
only talk in the room for things like applause and wild cheering"
inky says, "third, the mud has been intermittently lagged lately; we
apologize for the inconvenience and hope it's fixed for the moment"
inky says, "and, fourth, thanks for all the people that put in effort to
make this happen: Eileen Mullin, Neil deMause, and all the other
presenters"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to sargent), "Our children's children
will thank us, doubtless."
Best Use of Medium Award...
---------------------------
inky says, "our first category is Best Use of Medium"
inky says, "Sam Barlow, last year's winner for Aisle, couldn't be here
today, but I'm sure he'd want us all to remember the gnocchi and accept
NamelessAdventurer in his stead to present the nominees"
NamelessAdventurer's name is actually SAM BARLOW"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hiya hiya hiya!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Welcome to the 1998 Xyzzy Awards! Boy, am
I lagged!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "So without further ado -- hang on, I need to
find my elvish reading glasses of great antiquity..."
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon asks, "Did Elvis use reading glasses?"
[peanut-gallery] (from Sargent) NamelessAdventurer says, "Hey, I can't
read through these, they're glowing blue!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Here are the nominees for best use of
medium! The award too cool for anyone to understand what it means!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the nominees are:"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Ad Verbum, by Nick Montfort"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Metamorphoses, by Emily Short"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Rameses, by Stephen Bond"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Shade, by Andrew Plotkin"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Shrapnel, by Adam Cadre"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
(From NamelessAdventurer) NamelessAdventurer has disconnected.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "But I kid! The winner is: Shrapnel, by
Adam Cadre!"
Adam says, "Thanks, all"
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is there an Adam Cadre in the house?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Use of Medium trophy to Adam.
Adam says, "I wish I had some sort of speech here, but I've been busy
writing presentations and didn't think I'd actually win anything"
Adam says, "Anyway, many many thank-yous, all"
Paul exclaims, "Do a presentation instead!"
Best Individual Player Character Award...
-----------------------------------------
Varicella arrives from the west.
Varicella ascends the stage
Varicella exclaims, "I am here to present the award for Best Player
Character. A shame that one of them must win, for none of them deserve
to be mentioned in the same breath as myself!"
Varicella says, "For instance, we have the mumbling milquetoast from
'Being Andrew Plotkin' by Rob Wheeler."
Varicella asks, "Or perhaps the PC in question is the strident strumpet
from the same game?"
Varicella exclaims, "I suppose it's possible that Andrew Plotkin himself
is the PC under consideration, but sprinkling walnuts onto a pasta dish
when fine imported hazelnuts are readily available? How unseemly!"
zarf mumbles something about being allergic to hazelnuyts
Varicella says, "Then we have a mechanical contrivance of some sort from
LASH, by Paul O'Brian."
Varicella exclaims, "An inanimate object, mind you! Pfah!"
Varicella exclaims, "Imagine if the Academy Awards followed your lead!"
Varicella exclaims, "You'd see nominations for the volleyball in Cast
Away!"
Varicella exclaims, "The big rock in Armageddon!"
Varicella exclaims, "Keanu Reeves!"
[peanut-gallery] neild says, "I 'follow my lead' as much as the next
pencil."
Varicella asks, "Do you comprehend the extent of the unseemliness here?"
Varicella exclaims, "Nevermore by Nate Cull presents us with a
drug-addled dabbler in alchemy, of all things. How unseemly!"
Varicella says, "And most unseemly of all is his predilection for cheap
Mexican coca."
Varicella says, "Now, true, not everyone can afford top-quality
Colombian coca and allowances must be made. But to choose Mexican coca
over the equally inexpensive Peruvian variety betrays a *severe* lack of
discernment."
Varicella asks, "But what should one expect of a man who snorts his coca
like a pig?"
Varicella says, "A tip for you, Mr. Nominee -- a *gentleman* freebases."
Varicella says, "Next, Rameses by Stephen Bond, featuring an angst- and
acne-ridden adolescent from one of the barbarous northern islands."
Varicella exclaims, "He refuses to respond to commands, and for this he
is nominated for an award! How unseemly!"
Varicella says, "Now if *I* were in the player's seat and a PC were
failing to obey my orders, I would say, 'Look here, you lackadaisical
layabout!' and perhaps box his ears a time or two and *then* you'd see
some obedience. Oh yes."
Varicella says, "Lastly we have Shade by Andrew Plotkin, whose
protagonist's gaucherie is evident in every detail of that eyesore of an
apartment."
Varicella says, "The targets are almost too easy -- a *cardboard crate*
used as furniture? how"
Varicella says, "unseemly! -- but for the nonce I shall restrict myself
to the abomination referred to in the title."
Varicella says, "Whoops, a typo. How unseemly."
Varicella says, "A *roll-up window shade*? Even a blind monkey could
tell you that this is simply unacceptable when the drapers of Venice
offer an astonishing variety of exquisitely tailored vignette blinds for
extremely reasonable rates."
Varicella exclaims, "This game is fond of saying, 'You do not want
that.' Looking around, I most certainly do not!"
Varicella says, "And the winner is..."
Varicella exclaims, "...Rameses! How unseemly!"
Varicella gives Best Individual PC trophy to stephenb.
stephenb exclaims, "Wow, thanks everyone!"
inky says, "speech! speech!"
stephenb says, "Alex is delighted with the award, but can't think of
anything to say right now."
stephenb exclaims, "And I'm delighted too. Thanks very much everyone!"
Best Individual Non-Player Character Award...
-----------------------------------------
Sierra arrives from the west.
Gunther says, "Miss Sierra!"
Sierra says, "I'm supposed to present the award for Best Non-Player
Character."
Sierra says, "But since it's been THIRTEEN MONTHS and I still haven't
gotten the medal I supposedly won last year, you all can fucking bite
me. Bye."
Sierra storms off.
Sierra leaves the auditorium to the west.
inky says, "but .. but.."
Charlotte jumps up on stage
Charlotte exclaims, "silence! i claim this microphone in the name of
france!"
inky looks relieved.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "best xyzzy's ever"
mclem exclaims, "Yay backup presenters!"
Charlotte says, "so, let's see. best npc."
Charlotte says, "first, we have a king, from augmented fourth by brian
uri."
Charlotte says, "when i was a little girl my daddy took me to meet king
augmented iv over in westphalia... he was a furry little man who kept
licking my face."
Charlotte says, "wait, maybe that was a dog."
Charlotte says, "then there's melvin from being andrew plotkin by rob
wheeler."
Charlotte says, "i tried being andrew plotkin once, but when i tried
walking through the wall i didn't go anywhere."
Charlotte exclaims, "though after i hit my head enough times i *did* get
the thing with the colored light flaring around me. it was coooool!"
Charlotte says, "next up is the alien in failsafe by jon ingold."
Charlotte exclaims, "grr, all these aliens coming in and taking jobs
from us hard-working npcs!"
Charlotte says, "and then we have galatea from galatea by emily short,
which i did not personally like because it's so unfair."
Charlotte says, "talk to a hunk of rock shaped like a chick and that's
artsy, but talk to a hunk of rock shaped like a hunk of rock and ohhh,
suddenly you must be *crazy* because rocks don't talk or whatever. such
a double standard."
Charlotte says, "lastly, we have angela from my angel by jon ingold, who
hears her love's thoughts in her head."
Charlotte exclaims, "i hear my love's thoughts in my head too, but he
mostly says things like 'it's cold down here' and 'decomposing hurts'
and stuff. whine whine whine!"
Charlotte says, "and the winner is..."
Charlotte exclaims, "...galatea!"
Emily gets up and tries not to trip on her dress
Charlotte leaves the auditorium to the west.
maga_dogg says (to emily), "congratulations, and curse you for raising
the standard"
Emily says, "um, so. it's almost exactly a year ago that I was buried up
to my ears in code for this, and it seemed completely out of hand and
impossible that it would ever get finished."
Emily says, "but, um, the response has been more generous than I could
have hoped. Thank you muchly, especially if you're one of the people who
sent suggestions for v2."
Adam gives Best Use of Medium trophy to Emily.
Adam says, "Whoops"
Emily says (to Adam), "wrong one!"
zarf says, "hey!"
Adam gives Best Individual NPC trophy to Emily.
Adam says, "There we go."
Sargent says (to Adam), "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE."
Gunther says, "FAKE TROPHIES!"
Adam says, "Now gimme mine back."
Emily tries to figure out how to give it back
Emily gives Best Use of Medium trophy to Adam.
Emily says, "There we go."
Emily says, "I talk, I don't manipulate inventory"
Emily waves and sits down
Best Individual Puzzle Award...
-----------------------------------------
inky says, "that's kind of a tough act to follow, but I imagine the guy
who managed to get a maze chosen for best puzzle can do it -- please
welcome Andrew Plotkin, last year's winner for Hunter, in Darkness"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "alt: Being Adam Cadre's Pseudonym."
zarf says, "Well, I'm totally unpreprared for my little task here."
zarf tapes a note to his forehead which says '32768 nearly identical
zarfs'
zarf says, "I will enhance this persona by saying everything 32768
times."
zarf says, "...randomly scrambled."
zarf says, "Or, in fact, maybe not."
zarf looks at his crib sheet.
zarf says, "Best individual puzzles of the year 2000..."
zarf says, "Let's see."
BrenBarn stomps his feet in anticipation.
zarf checks ifarchive.org data files to see who wrote which game.
zarf says, "First nominee: 9:05 by Adam Cadre."
zarf says, "For, apparently, 9:05 by Adam Cadre."
zarf says, "Above and Beyond! by Mike Sousa"
zarf says, "For, a mannequin."
zarf says, "Ad Verbum, by Nick Montfort"
zarf says, "For, fthe fletter frooms."
zarf says (to frisco), "heh."
zarf says, "For, for, for, for..."
zarf says, "the recursive room. room."
zarf says, "Room."
zarf says, "Before I open the envelope, let me say what a pleasure it's
been to be named on the nominee list three times as often as anyone
else."
zarf looks around for an envelope.
zarf begins to look nervous
inky says (to zarf), "it's, um, to build up the anticipation"
zarf says, "Four fried chickens and the Pope walk into a bar..."
zarf says, "Oh, here it is."
zarf says, "The wnner is Rematch!"
zarf asks, "Is the dude here?"
zarf says, "Guess not."
Sargent says, "Let's speak of the devil."
zarf holds up the trophy on devil's behalf.
zarf sits down and waits to win something.
Best NPCs Award...
-----------------------------------------
Guard#0531 and Guard #0249 ascend the stage.
Guard#0531 clears his throat.
Guard#0531 exclaims, "...but as recent games have shown, they can also
add the feline element, the canine element, or even the ursine element!"
Guard#0531 looks expectantly at Guard #0249.
Guard#0249 stares dully into space
Guard#0531 taps his foot.
Guard#0249 drools
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Pssst. It's your line, idiot."
Guard#0249 says (to 0531), "Me not know line."
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Just read it off the teleprompter."
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Oh, for-- 'Look a bear!' Your line is 'Look
a bear!'"
Guard#0249 exclaims (at 0531), "A bear?! Bears is scary! Save me from
bear!"
Guard#0531 sighs.
Guard#0531 says, "Okay, the nominees for Best NPCs are:"
Guard#0531 says, "Being Andrew Plotkin by Rob Wheeler..."
Guard#0531 says, "Galatea by Emily Short..."
Guard#0531 says, "Heroine's Mantle by Andy Phillips..."
Guard#0531 says, "Kaged by Ian Finley..."
Guard#0531 says, "Punk Points by Jim Munroe..."
Guard#0531 exclaims, "...and Rameses, by Stephen Bond!"
Guard#0249 exclaims, "Rameses = condoms = impotence!"
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Thank you for that."
Guard#0531 says, "And the winner is..."
Guard#0531 exclaims, "Being Andrew Plotkin!"
Rob says, "Whoa?!"
zarf applauds himself in an award-winning role
Rob climbs up on stage.
Guard#0531 leaves the auditorium to the west.
Guard#0249 leaves the auditorium to the west.
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon says, "It's obviously good to be Andrew
Plotkin."
BrenBarn congratulates zarf -- no, wait, Rob.
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw begins writing Being Rob Wheeler.
Rob says, "Okay, this is really weird, because I had a dream just before
I woke up today where I won this particular award."
Rob says, "Anyway, I'd like to thank everybody in the world, except a
few bits of Delaware, for this honor"
Psmith says (to Rob), "Did you dream you won any other awards as well?
I've still got time to get to the bookies."
Gunther says (to Rob), "Sorry, this is still your dream."
Rob says, "and especially Zarf, for being zarf and being an NPC and all
the rest of it."
Rob says, "I'm quite pleased. Thank you, everyone."
Rob tries to leave, but doesn't know which way to go.
Rob asks, "Also, do I get an award?"
Rob sits back down.
inky says, "get that man an award!"
Adam says, "Whoopsie. Hang on"
Rob gets Best NPCs trophy.
Best Puzzles Award...
-----------------------------------------
inky says, "Jon Ingold couldn't be here to present Best Puzzles, which
he won for The Mulldoon Legacy, but once again, NamelessAdventurer has
stepped into the breach"
inky says, "also into the breeches"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Ewww! I stepped in breach!"
devil arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] markm says, "thank your lucky stars you didn't step in
the lederhosen"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says (to Nameless), "That's 'bleach'. It's to
clean off the dungeon muck on your boots."
inky says (to devil), "belated speech!"
devil says, "thank you."
devil says, "katre phoned me and said, "Getcher butt in here!""
zarf gives Best Individual Puzzle trophy to devil.
NamelessAdventurer says, "So this is the award for Best Puzzles. Man,
back in my day, we had *real* puzzles."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Why, we had to walk three miles in the snow
and give chocolate-covered insects to a lizard just to -- where was I?"
NamelessAdventurer looks at the list.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Ad Verbum, by Nick Montfort!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Augmented Fourth, by Brian Uri!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Dinner with Andre, by Liza Daly!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Heroine's Mantle, by Andy Phillips!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Metamorphoses, by Emily Short!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Nevermore, by Nate Cull!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "And: The End Means Escape, by Stephen
Kodat!"
NamelessAdventurer slows down...........
NamelessAdventurer says, "The..."
NamelessAdventurer says, "winner..."
NamelessAdventurer says, "is..."
[peanut-gallery] markm turns NamelessAdventurer up to 11.
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw asks, "...SlowTalkersOfAmerica?"
Kays enrolls nameless in presenters 101
NamelessAdventurer says, "Ad..."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Verbum, by Nick Montfort"
nm stands and smiles
nm says, "Ahem, awesome! Author accepts an appealing award affably."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Puzzles trophy to nm.
nm says, "As author's actions affirm, alphabetical arrangements always
amused author. Assembling assorted arbitrary ASCII, ad absurdo, as
adventure and acquisition, appeared attractive."
nm says, "And accordingly, author attacked adventure, abandoning ars
amatoria, abandoning athletic activity, appearing agonizingly
antisocial. After arduous attempts and assays, author actualized
adventure."
nm says, "Accolade and adventurer appreciation authentically affects
author."
nm says, "Acknowledgement appears appropriate: author appreciates all
assistance and aid, awfully. An acolyte ("alone," as acolyte's
appellation asserts) accoutered abundant authentication aid, assuredly
above average."
nm says, "Author asserts again: acclaim's absolutely appreciated.
Adieu!"
Best Setting Award...
-----------------------------------------
inky says, "anyway -- last year's winner in the Best Setting category
appears to be making a habit of getting nominated, so we've asked
Stephen Granade to step in his stead"
Sargent ascends the stage and taps the microphone.
Sargent says, "As inky said, I am standing in for zarf this year."
Sargent says, "So."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "quiet"
Sargent says, "One pound Velveeta, one can Rotel tomatoes."
Sargent says, "Cube the Velveeta and mix with the Rotel in a
microwave-safe dish"
Sargent says, "Nuke for about ten minutes, or until smooth."
Sargent says, "Serve with chips."
zarf winces very slightly.
Sargent says, "And now, on with the Best Setting award."
Sargent says, "Nominee the first: LASH, by Paul O'Brian"
Sargent says, "Nominee the second: Metamorphoses, by Emily Short"
Sargent says, "Nominee the third: Nevermore, by Nate Cull"
Sargent says, "Nominee the fourth: Shade, by Andrew Plotkin"
Sargent says, "Nomimee the last (and lagged): Shrapnel, by Adam Cadre"
Sargent says, "And the winner is..."
Sargent holds the envelope up to his forehead and concentrates.
Sargent says, "Nah, I got nothing," and opens the envelope.
Sargent says, "...Shade, by the erstwhile presenter!"
Sargent gives Best Setting trophy to zarf.
Sargent steps down and gives the stage to zarf.
zarf takes the stage.
zarf shakes his shoes off
zarf says, "And now, a bit of a soft-shoe shuffle."
zarf dances slightly
zarf says, "It's itneresting..."
zarf says, "I remember, many award ceremonies ago..."
zarf says, "Telling people to wait for my next game: "Four Endings and a
Funeral.""
zarf says, "And now that game has won an award."
zarf says, "Call it closure."
zarf sits down
Best Story Award...
-----------------------------------------
Tril stands up nervously
Tril clears her throat
Tril says, "The nominees for Best Story are:"
Tril says, "Being Andrew Plotkin, by J. Robinson Wheeler"
Tril says, "Heroine's Mantle, by Andy Phillips"
Tril says, "LASH, by Paul O'Brian"
Tril says, "Masquerade, by Kathleen M. Fischer"
Tril says, "My Angel, by Jon Ingold"
Tril says, "Rameses, by Stephen Bond"
Tril says, "Shade, by Andrew Plotkin"
Tril says, "Aaaand Shrapnel by Adam Cadre"
Tril fiddles with the envelope
Adam says, "Aaaand Shrapnel is how I got it listed first in the phone
book"
Tril says, "And the winner is...."
Tril exclaims, "My Angel, by Jon Ingold!"
Tril looks around for Jon
inky says (to Tril), "he couldn't make it"
Tril asks, "Anyone here to accept the award for him?"
inky says, "I guess Tril can just hang onto the award until next year,
unless Jon shows up before then"
Sargent says (to Tril), "Give that award a good home."
Best Writing Award...
-----------------------------------------
inky says, "so, onto the second-to-last category-- Best Writing"
inky says, "this is a particularly apt choice of presenter, as he can
take a look at the sound system while he's here. please welcome the
Toolman, from Dan Schmidt's For a Change"
The toolman, bright and misty, inscribes himself with propriety upon the
stage.
The toolman pleasures to proclaim, in his capacity of award establisher,
five nominees of grace and style.
The toolman presently pertains to the awarding of Best Writing, as text
and symbols declare.
The toolman introduces Metamorphoses (variable and minute), by Emily
Short.
The toolman greets My Angel (woven and smooth), by Jon Ingold.
The toolman salutes Rameses (acrid and tight), by Stephen Bond.
The toolman welcomes Shade (arenaceous and grim), by Andrew Plotkin.
The toolman says (to zarf), "Look it up, buddy."
The toolman invites You Are a Chef! (culinary and clownary), by Dan
Shiovitz.
The toolman peers felicitously at the envelope.
The toolman ceremoniously inducts the admirable work of victory:
Metamorphoses, by Emily Short!
Emily blinks, stumbles to her feet
Emily goes up to the stage, dodging falling ingredients
Emily says, "um um. Ironically enough I can't think of much to say
here."
Emily says, "Other than that I'm really honored."
Emily finds the trophy rather large, shrinks it two sizes, and slips it
in her purse.
Emily says, "Thanks all!"
Emily sits down
Best Game Award...
-----------------------------------------
inky steps up to the podium for the last award.
inky says, "and, finally, to present the XYZZY Award for Best Game of
2000, Eileen Mullin!"
Urbatain Bravo Emily!
eileen tugs at her little black dress and walks up to the podium.
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "so what's going on with eileen?"
[peanut-gallery] jwalrus says, "hurry up Eileen, I have to leave in five
minutes"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says (to Rob), "She crash, go boom."
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "Working on the satellite feed now."
eileen goes home.
[peanut-gallery] Tril starts singing "Come on Eileen", but is muffled
from behind
inky says, "there we go, back on-line"
eileen arrives from the west.
inky gives Best Game Nominees to eileen.
eileen dusts herself off!
eileen exclaims, "So sorry, guys!"
eileen exclaims, "Just need a minute to get myself reoriented!"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, ">EILEEN, CLIMB STAGE. PRESENT AWARD"
Jota gives eileen a small magnetic compass.
neild turns Eileen 5 degrees counterclockwise.
eileen exclaims, "As I was saying, without further ado...!"
eileen says, "The nominees for Best Game of 2000 are..."
eileen says, "Ad Verbum, by Nick Montfort"
eileen says, "Being Andrew Plotkin, by J. Robinson Wheeler"
eileen says, "Galatea, by Emily Short""
eileen says, "LASH, by Paul O'Brian"
eileen says, "Rameses, by Stephen Bond"
eileen says, "...and Shade, by Andrew Plotkin"
eileen waves the envelope containing the winner's name
eileen dramatically opens envelope
eileen looks around to see if her poor Mac is going to crash again...
eileen brushes away smoke...
eileen says, "And the winner is..."
eileen says, "Being Andrew Plotkin, by J. Robinson Wheeler"
eileen holds out trophy to Rob expectantly
Rob says, "Well, I'm honored, and touched, and pleased all at the same
time."
Rob says, "So hontoupled, in other words."
Grocible asks, "Good touch or bad touch?"
Rob says, "Good touch."
Rob says, "This is very unexpected."
Rob says, "I'd like to thank Andrew Plotkin again, just because his name
is on this year's Best Game."
Rob says, "But I'll be happy to take the award home myself."
zarf nods more or less graciously. :)
Rob jumps up and down.
eileen gives Best Game trophy to Rob.
Rob says (to eileen), "thank you"
Mona breaks open the champagne
BoingBall exclaims (at Adam), "Hooray!"
BrenBarn cheers generally all around.
inky steps up to the microphone one last time (honest).
Rob says, "thanks to all the other nominees, too"
Hloif exclaims, "YAY IF!"
Kays says (to Rob), "Congratulations"
Urbatain says, "and then, go and see the movie"
Gunther says, "CONGRATULATIONS ALL WINNERS"
neild exclaims, "Yay inky for Best MC!"
Rob stares in shock.
Hloif cheers!
schep applauds all the nominees and winners.
eileen breaks out champagne, starts handing out plastic glasses...
ander cheers in memory of his first Xyzzy Awards: 2001!
BrenBarn says, "Yay busta"
Gunther says (to ander), "2000"
Rob sips at some champagne.
inky says, "thanks for coming and making this a great ceremony,
everyone!"
BoingBall says, "And now, you may observe the walls of the auditorium
are closing slowly inward, and the doors have sealed shut"
veek says (to Gunther), "It's the lag."
devil stomps a plastic glass -- wait, this isn't a wedding.
Kiz says, "and david reiterates his promise that medals are in the
works"
Hloif applauds.
inky says, "it's traditional to move the party to the Carousel Bar &
Grill afterwards, which is west-north-up from here"
neild exclaims (at Kiz), "You got medals in my works!"
inky says, "feel free to make a motion in that direction any time you
want"
Rob says, "congratulations everybody"
inky says, "and thanks again to Eileen and Neil and the presenters, and
congratulations to all the winners and nominees!"
wuss wakes up. "Did I miss anything?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
BULLETIN BOARD
Readers helping other readers
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Below are some new queries I've received recently
from readers looking for hard-to-find games, or who
are in need of specific help. If you can help answer any
of these requests, please don't be shy about chiming in
with an answer! --EM
Ok, I have to admit, I've recently become infected by IF bug again (can
you REALLY ever lose it? I doubt It).
Years ago, (back in the 80's), there was a Compute! Publications book
about creating text adventures in Commodore 2.0 basic (which the title
escapes me) which was wire/spiral bound, the cover was beige with the
background being a map (treasure/adventure style (yes, I can see this
book in my mind's eye, even 15 year later)).
I've searched here (Amazon.com), Half.com, Ebay, Library of Congress and
so far nothing. I have recent secured a copy of Tim Hartnell's
"Creating adventure games on your computer" 1984 Ballentine, but that is
still not the exact book I am looking for.
Any ideas?
Yes, I really DO work at Amazon.com (I get that alot, when writing
externally!)
-- Dan Greenlee
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
Hello, Eileen,
Years ago, (the late 70's or early 80's ) a friend's dad bought a Tandy
TRS-80 home computer. We played a great adventure on it called, "
Pyramid 2000 ". Have you heard of it, and is it still obtainable
somewhere? Any information appreciated.
Regards,
-- Mike Vertrees
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
Hey Eileen,
I've just discovered your site. I'm searching for a walkthrough
or hint on an IF DOS-text game called "The Crisis of Dersenia" by
Tech-Software, released in 1994. The game is easily downloadable from
several FTP sites but nobody seems to have posted a solution on the net.
Anybody could help?
Thanx in advance
-- Ernest
[email protected] wrote:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LEGALESE
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
XYZZYnews is published by Eileen Mullin, 160 West 24th
Street, # 7C, New York, NY 10011, USA. E-mail:
[email protected]. URL:
http://www.xyzzynews.com/. Send
all inquiries, letters, and submissions to any of the
addresses above.
Contents (c) 2001 XYZZYnews. All rights reserved. Published
in the United States of America.
Electronic versions: There are
currently three versions of XYZZYnews made available
online. One is in ASCII and can be viewed with any text
reader. You can also read this issue online at
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mailing list, please write to
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All products, names, and services are trademarks or
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----------------------------------------------------
