XYZZYnews
Issue #15
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HOLLOW VOICE
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What has push technology done for you lately? Well,
today the URL-minder agent that notifies my Web
readers when the XYZZYnews home page is updated sent
out a message to subscribers that the XYZZYnews Home
Page was dead. I guess the agent was really dutifully
noting that my service provider was temporarily down --
but it certainly filled my e-mailbox with inquiries from
worried readers. Let me thank everyone who wrote in
and reassure all that this news of XYZZYnews' death was
greatly exaggerated.
Speaking of Internet gripes, I can't resist mentioning a
letter recently I spotted in the Webmaster mail at my
day job. In its entirety, it read: "Your Web site has
become increasingly difficult to locate what I'm looking
for!! If I didn't know better, I'd say that the people who
create your Web site are the same people who create
these adventure role playing games!" It was such a
flattering thought, even if it was unintentional! :-)
Thanks to Ivan Cockrum for pointing out a correction for
XYZZYnews #14 -- in listing the 1997 IF competition game
responses to the XYZZY command, I had an incomplete
response for his game Sunset Over Savannah. You can see
the full response to typing 'XYZZY' once you leave the first
room in the game -- try it yourself!
Most of the preparation for this issue was taken up with
trying to whittle down the transcript of the XYZZY
Awards ceremony, held back in February, down to a
manageable size for print. As it is, this issue still wound
up running to 56 pages in print and in PDF. For brevity's
sake I edited out a lot -- transcript messages about who
entered or left the room, many simple reactions to
comments, and most of the raciest bits -- but you can find
the unabridged transcript online in a couple of places:
*
http://www.ministryofpeace.com/text/
ceremony_1997.html
*
http://www.spatch.net/ifmud/xyzzy-trans.txt
Until next issue, happy gaming!
Eileen Mullin
[email protected]
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Contents:
**Top 10 Picks for IF on the Web
**Letters
**Infonotes: Serious Infocom Trivia
**Works in Progress: Sneak Previews
**Live from the MUD: The Second Annual XYZZYs
**Bulletin Board: readers helping other readers
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LEGALESE
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XYZZYnews is published more-or-less bimonthly by
Bran Muffin Communications, 160 West 24th Street, #
7C, New York, NY 10011, USA. Email:
[email protected]. URL:
http://www.xyzzynews.com/. Send all inquiries,
letters, and submissions to any of the addresses
above.
Contents (c) 1998 XYZZYnews. All rights reserved.
Published in the United States of America.
Electronic versions: There are currently three
versions of XYZZYnews made available online. One is
in ASCII and can be viewed with any text reader. You
can also download a .PDF file that mirrors the
layout of the print version. Use the Adobe Acrobat
Reader (available for Windows, Mac, DOS and Unix) to
view the .PDF file; no special fonts or linked
graphics are needed. You can obtain Acrobat Reader
by following the links from
http://www.adobe.com/.
Thirdly, you can also read this issue online at
http://www.xyzzynews.com/xyzzy.15.html
Subscriptions: All electronic versions are available
at no cost. You can obtain either the ASCII or PDF
versions by FTPing to the ftp.gmd.de/if-
archive/magazines/ XYZZYnews directory. To be added
to the mailing list, please write to
[email protected] and specify text-only or .PDF
version. The print version is $15 (U.S.) for one
year (6 issues) or $2.50 for a sample issue. For
print subscriptions outside the U.S. or Canada,
please email or write for rates.
All products, names, and services are trademarks or
registered trademarks of their respective companies.
Editor:
Eileen Mullin
Associate Editor:
Neil deMause
Contributors to this issue:
Graeme Cree
Bjorn Ludwig
Angus McLaren
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Issue #15 Top 10 Picks for IF on the World Wide Web
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Blorb: A Z-Machine Resource Collection Format Standard
http://www.edoc.com/zarf/blorb/
Graham Nelson's Blorb page
http://www.gnelson.demon.co.uk/blorb/
Inform en Espagnol
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Fortress/9939/
Interactive Fiction at the Mining Company
http://interactfiction.miningco.com/
Interactive Fiction for the PalmPilot
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/9590/interactive.htm
Interactive Fiction Hall of Shame
http://www.retina.net/~ddyte/
Programmers Vault: How to make a text adventure
http://homepages.thefree.net/achesworth/vault/v_text.h
tm
rec.arts.int-fiction Online Archive
http://www.truespectra.com/~svanegmo/raif/
Westfront PC
http://www.fortunecity.com/skyscraper/
stephenson/115/westfront.html
You Be the Hero
http://t2.technion.ac.il/~site
[screen shot of the Interactive Fiction Hall of Shame]
Ever wonder what the other denizens of r.a.i.f. look like?
You can get a glimpse of some of the newsgroup
correspondents at the Interactive Hall of Shame.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LETTERS
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Hi Eileen,
I have just become interested in IF again and I agree
with your editorial [XYZZYnews #14] completely. I tried
to play the competition games but I found them very late
(November) and just didn't have the time it takes to
spend with them ahead of the judging deadline. Not only
that, but I have lots of other IF to catch up with (tons, in
fact) since playing Infocom in the '80s.
With the amount of this stuff coming out, it is hard to get
a good grasp of what's out there and what's good, not to
mention having the hours to play them. Plus, I've now
developed an interest in writing IF as well.
Anyway, since Whizzard seems to be exhausted by the
contest project, maybe this would be a good time to go to
an every other year format?
Just a thought.
--Lelah Conrad
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
Hi Eileen,
I just wanted to pass along my compliments on your
XYZZY page and ask a few questions too. I've been
an on-again, off-again IF fan since the '70s. I even wrote
an adventure on the VIC-20 with its whopping 3 1/2 K.
(Let's just say superterse (not the Rick James song) was
always on.) Well, I have the "bug" again -- and have
been
hunting down any resource I can to get me a-
programmin'.
Your XYZZYnews is great -- just publish more, will ya?! :-
)
Again, keep up the good work.
--Jim
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
To XYZZYnews:
Phew! XYZZYnews isn't dead, after all.
I have only recently re-entered the world of IF for the
first time since my Commodore 64 days and was a little
worried that I may have found you all just as things were
winding up. The new issue came at just the right time.
Well done for creating such an excellent magazine, there
is always something of interest and the links page is very
useful indeed.
Keep up the good work,
--Stuart Houghton
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Eileen,
I agree with some of Neil deMause's criticisms of my
electronic storyworld, Shattertown Sky. The storyworld
is a prototype, and it has some quirks -- some kludges
and awkward work-arounds. These are being addressed
in the current round of upgrades.
But what's going on here isn't simply a critique of a
particular work. It's a conflict over what should lie at the
core of interactive storytelling.
deMause calls emotions a "narrow arena." He rates the
ability to pick up an object (by the way, you can pick up
and carry objects in Erasmafiction, when to do so is
dramatically interesting) as more important than the
ability to evoke and display emotion and character
interaction.
For how many thousands of years have emotion and
character have been at the very heart of fiction -- be it
prose, play, movie, or yes, even Erasmafiction?
War and Peace is narrow? Hamlet, deficient? Hmmm.
Shattertown Sky may not be interactive fiction's answer
to War and Peace, but until we storytellers get our hands
on technology that lets us inject emotion, character, and
theme into interactive media, there never will be. Chris
Crawford has grasped what most software developers
have persistently and obdurately missed: interactive
entertainment that doesn't address the human condition
in fundamental and meaningful ways will never appeal to
a broad audience. Because most people do care about
emotion, character interaction, theme, and meaning.
Erasmatron products -- Shattertown included -- are not
intended for those who, like deMause, dismiss the
interplay of characters and display of human emotion as
some trivial sideshow. Fortunately, as the long history in
other forms of storytelling bears witness to, there are
plenty who disagree with him, and those are the people
we hope to reach with this new technology.
--Laura J. Mixon
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Eileen,
Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy XYZZYnews. I
just found you and IF in the last month. I had several of
the original Zork games a million years ago (Zork,
Mystery, Planetfall), but was a lousy player so they were
sold with the Apple II+. This Christmas a friend asked me
to get her MYST so I asked if she could find any of the
older Zork games. She found Return to Zork.
I found XYZZYnews and the IF site. I've started to play
some of the easier games to try to learn to "think"
properly. I also play some of the harder, well rated
games, because they sound so good. I think hints may be
necessary for a long time.
I enjoy reading the reviews. They are well written and
just fun to read. I will read several reviews of a game to
get the flavor or feel of the game. It helps me get into the
game and stick with it while I try to learn to play. I hope
you are able to tell your reviewers how much their game
reviews, standing on their own, are enjoyed.
I've used nearly a ream of paper printing out the back
issues of XYZZYnews. I like to read from paper and
XYZZYnews is best enjoyed with a cup of coffee or tea and
a cookie.
Different topic. I've been wondering if [the national dog
club I belong to] might be able to save some money
publishing at least our flyer like you do XYZZYnews.
All that intro to ask if you could provide me some
pointers. I know a bit about computer networks, but I'm
not experienced in publishing or publishing/layout
programs. Actually I would take the info and pass it to
the people who put out the newsletter. In addition to a
word processing program what would they need?
Estimated costs? I know the Adobe Reader is free, but are
there costs for the program to put it in PDF form?
Thanks for XYZZYnews and any help you can give on the
newsletter.
--Maralee Johnson
[email protected]
Maralee,
I can't say enough good things about PDF. This is
definitely the easiest way to distribute typeset
publications across computer platforms. It allows you to
retain page layout formatting, file sizes are relatively
small, and readers can search for keywords or click
hotlinks you've embedded for URLs.
You need a commercial program called Adobe Acrobat to
create PDF files; the reader that folks need for reading
PDF files (Acrobat Reader) is freeware. I honestly don't
remember how much Adobe Acrobat costs these days,
but you can find that out from any computer retailer or
mail order software catalog. It's also bundled with some
other Adobe products; I seem to remember that at work
when we upgraded to Adobe Photoshop 4.0, the CD-ROM
also included the latest version of Acrobat for free as
well.
Adobe Acrobat comes with two apps that can be used to
create PDF files -- Acrobat Exchange and Acrobat Distiller.
The Distiller program is the only one I use. I usually lay
out pages with the QuarkXpress desktop publishing
program, output my Quark documents as PostScript files,
then use Acrobat Distiller to convert the PostScript files
to PDF format. If your newsletter is created with another
program, well, as long as you can output it to PostScript
somehow you can then get it into PDF. You can find out
more about Adobe Acrobat at its official Web site,
http://www.adobe.com/prodindex/acrobat/.
Hope this helps, and let me know if I can be of further
assistance!
-- EM
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Eileen,
I was bored while I was playing Zork I recently, so I
tried:
>kill knife
What do you want to kill the knife with?
>mouth
You don't have the blast of air.
This is quite interesting. Is there a "blast of air"
described in Zork? How is the word "mouth" associated
with it? I'm no Zork expert, so I'm probably overlooking
something simple with this one.
--An IF fan
----------------------------------------------------
To XYZZYnews:
I have found a bug in Spellbreaker which is not listed on
the bugs list:
If you have water in the bottle then casting tinsot on any
body of water except for the one in the Oubliette will give
the message "The water and bottle freeze and shatter into
a million pieces!" and destroy the bottle even if the bottle
is not in the same room or if it is inside the closed zipper.
If that's not clear, here's a concrete example. At the
Enchanters' Retreat I dropped the bottle which contained
water. I then blorpled the earth cube and went west then
south to get to the Ruins Room. I then cast tinsot on the
water there and received the message about the bottle
shattering. Going back to the Enchanters' Retreat I found
that the bottle was gone.
I found this in version 87/860904 of Spellbreaker.
--Paul
[email protected]
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INFONOTES: SERIOUS INFOCOM TRIVIA
Some incredibly niggling facts about Infocom games
by Graeme Cree (
[email protected])
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When I was very young my father read Tolkien's The
Hobbit out loud. A couple of years later, after learning to
read and reading the book on my own, I was very
puzzled to find that a couple of minor things I
remembered were missing. I specifically remembered a
mention that Hobbits were larger than Lilliputians, and a
mention that less friendly neighbors said that one of the
Took ancestors had married a goblin, but these things
simply weren't there, leaving me to wonder if the book
had been embellished during the reading, or if I was just
imagining things. It wasn't until years later, when I
turned up a second edition of the book, that I realized
that these things were in that edition, but deleted in the
third, which I had read later. This led me to compile a
couple of pages of other minor changes in the book that I
kept until a complete list was published in The Annotated
Hobbit years after that.
Infocom games are subject to the same syndrome,
especially Zork 1, of which no less than 12 different
versions exist. People who played this game on their old
Commodore 64's and TRS-80's who now try to play it on a
PC with Masterpieces of Infocom, Lost Treasures of
Infocom, The Zork Anthology, The Zork Legacy Collection,
et al, may have the same kind of phantom memories --
along the lines of "Wait a minute, I could have sworn that
Zork I gave credit to Colossal Cave! Wasn't the bat
supposed to be from Wumpus?"
In maintaining The Infocom Bugs List
(
http://members.aol.com/graemecree/infobugs/), I have
had to play through most of the games many times, and
in so doing have come across several oddities and
changes to the various games that did not qualify as bugs,
but still seemed worth mentioning. Most of them involve
changes made to the programs over time, but there is
also an assortment of observations, and miscellany. To
some people, this stuff might seem incredibly niggling
and unimportant, but to others it might just save their
sanity. Items brought to my attention by others have
been so credited.
This list is a work in progress, and like the Infocom Bugs
List may be updated periodically.
As with The Infocom Bugs List, commands that should be
entered into the game verbatim are in all caps and bold
face. Direct quotes from a game are in bold monospace (in
quotes if within a paragraph, and blockquoted otherwise).
-------------------
General comments
-------------------
1. FORMERLY AN INTERLOGIC GAME: Infocom's first 9
games, Zork 1, Zork 2, Zork 3, Deadline, Starcross,
Suspended, The Witness, Planetfall, and Enchanter, all
bore an additional trademark that described them as
Interlogic games. This can usually be seen by issuing the
VERSION command, or watching the copyright
information at the beginning of the game.
The first four games after the Zork Trilogy have the
Interlogic trademark in all known versions of the
program. However, Planetfall and Enchanter have it in
some versions, but not others. Enchanter is an Interlogic
game in versions 10, 15, and 16, but not in versions 24
and 29. Planetfall is an Interlogic game in versions 20,
26, and 29, but not in versions 37 or 10.
The Zork Trilogy itself is a special case. The original
blister pack versions of all of these games describe them
as Interlogic Games on the cover of the manual, but none
of them have the word mentioned inside the program
itself (Although, "Xe Zoork triloojee" are all described as
being "Inturlajik" games in the Lawanda Complex's
computer in Planetfall).
With Infidel and all succeeding games, the Interlogic
trademark was gone for good, however three versions of
Planetfall and Enchanter compiled after Infidel's release
still retained it.
-------------------
Arthur: The Quest for Excalibur
-------------------
1. A CLASSIC STYLE GAME?: Arthur is the only one of
the .z6 games that can be made to look exactly like one of
the .z1 - .z5 games. Zork Zero and Shogun both look
garbled if run this way. Journey is readable, but still
retains the screen layout of the graphic version.
Arthur has a built-in function to make the screen look
like a classic game, but this still uses the .z6 graphic font.
However, if you start the game in text mode (i.e. frotz -d
1 arthur.zip), then hit F6 on the first turn, the results will
be virtually indistinguishable from a classic Infocom
game.
Of course with Frotz being continually updated, Arthur
may not be the only game able to do this for long.
-------------------
Ballyhoo
-------------------
1. GUESS THE VERB: One of the biggest foibles in this
game is the fact that the command WHIP LION is
completely different from HIT LION WITH WHIP. The
first will work, the second will tell you that you are too
scared to do it.
I went through a major hassle playing the first time
when I had to start over from the beginning, and
suddenly could no longer tame the lion even though I
knew I had done it before. I then went off on a long false
trail, believing that the character had to perform some
act of bravery to obtain the courage needed to whip the
lion. When everything failed, I got a complete
walkthrough from Quest for Clues, which got me past the
lion, but left me wondering how it was different from
what I had been doing. Only much later, did I notice that
the two commands were different.
-------------------
Beyond Zork
-------------------
1. Brian Moriarty was very fair in implementing the
effect of potions. The rule that they will not work unless
you shake them first applies to bad potions as well as
good ones (i.e. drink a Potion of Death without shaking it
first, and it won't kill you.
2. THE NEW NON-VIOLENT ZORK?: In Beyond Zork it is
extremely rare to actually kill an opponent in combat.
Most victorious melees end with the defeated monster
running away in defeat (the Dust Bunny being an
exception). Even the Wand (or Rod, Stick, Stave, etc.) of
Annihilation produces this result. The old woman tells
you that it produces "Instant death, with few exceptions.",
though about the only being that you can actually kill
with it is yourself.
What was the reason for this decision? Was it to make
the game less violent? Or was it merely to provide a more
realistic way of disposing of the bodies after combat than
having them disappear in a cloud of sinister black fog?
-------------------
Enchanter Trilogy
-------------------
1. UNFROTZING: Have you ever frotzed something, and
wished that you hadn't? In Enchanter and Spellbreaker
you can do something about it with the EXTINGUISH
command. In Sorcerer, you're out of luck.
In Spellbreaker, trying to EXTINGUISH anything you have
frotzed generates the response, "The magical glow fades."
In Enchanter, you can EXTINGUISH anything except
yourself. EXTINGUISH ME generates the response "You
can't turn that off." EXTINGUISH SPELL BOOK (or
anything else) generates the response "The [item] is now
off."
In Sorcerer, trying to EXTINGUISH any frotzed item
generates the response, "How? It's glowing by magic."
-------------------
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-------------------
1. I got a note from Wei-Hwa Huang which described a
Games magazine article about Infocom that mentioned a
container bug similar to the ones in Zork I, Infidel, and
Starcross (this time involving the gown and the thing),
which had been caught in betatesting. This bug does not
appear in any versions of the game.
I tried to reproduce it by typing PUT GOWN IN THING,
and then PUT THING IN GOWN, and got the amusing
response: "You can't put the thing your aunt gave you
which you don't know what it is in your gown when your
gown is already in the thing your aunt gave you which
you don't know what it is!"
-------------------
The Lurking Horror
-------------------
1. Here's an amusing little sequence you can generate at
the beginning of the game:
>HACKER, GIVE ME THE MASTER KEY.
"Fat chance! This is a master key!..."
Well, duh!
-------------------
Planetfall
-------------------
1. When I originally played Planetfall (my first ever
Infocom game, and still the best one IMHO) I was thrown
for a while by the fact that the description of the Patrol
uniform said that it protected against "radiation and
mosquitoes." This gave me the idea that the uniform must
provide a way to get the spool in the Radiation Lab, if
only I could find a helmet or something.
Apparently others had the same problem, because in all
versions after Version 20, the description of the uniform
is changed to say that it protects against "mild radiation."
(my italics)
2. ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THAT?: In versions 20, 26,
29, and 37, if the player gives a TAKE ALL command,
while Floyd is present, the game will (understandably)
try to pick him up with all the other items, generating
this response:
multiple purpose robot: You manage to lift Floyd a few
inches off the ground, but he is too heavy and you drop
him suddenly. Floyd gives a surprised squeal and moves
a respectable distance away.
In a typical game, the player may see this several times,
but fortunately in the Solid Gold version (version 10),
Infocom had mercy and eliminated the problem. In the
Solid Gold version, if you TAKE ALL or GET ALL while
Floyd is present, the game interprets it as if you had
typed TAKE ALL EXCEPT FLOYD.
3. MORE THAN FAIR: Planetfall certainly gives you
ample opportunity to win the game. Although you begin
feeling the effects of the disease when you wake up after
your first night's sleep, it will not prove fatal until Day 9
(you die in your sleep after going to bed at the end of the
8th day).
A player who knows what he is doing can easily finish
the game on the 2nd day. Even if you're playing for the
first time, it will probably not take more than 4 days.
As the disease progresses, you become weaker and need
more sleep. The medicine will help with this, but will not
affect the time that you die. The game may become
unwinnable before you actually die if you are no longer
strong enough to carry the laser and miniaturization card,
but no matter how you slice it, you have so much time to
complete your mission that time is really not a factor at
all.
4. LESS THAN FAIR: You must actually reach the Cryo-
Room in order to survive. Although the rescue ship is
waiting for you when you reach the Cryo-Room
(assuming you have fixed Planetary Defense and the
Radio), if you simply fix the proper items and wait
around the Kalamontee Complex for the ship to arrive, it
never will.
Similarly, if you repair the computer, start the
reactivation process, and then just hang around the Lab
Office waiting for Veldina's troops to come rescue you,
they never will. You must pass through the mutants and
go to them.
5. A CHRONIC PAIN: Planetfall (and Stationfall)
measure time in chrons. There are 10 chrons in a day.
Assuming that a day in these games is still 24 hours, that
gives us the following conversions:
1 chron = 2 hours and 24 minutes
1 centichron = 1 minute and 26 seconds
1 millichron = 8.64 seconds
6. Floyd, like the adventurer in Enchanter, will hand you
things if you ask for them, even if your load is too heavy
to normally accommodate them. This makes solving the
rift puzzle a tad quicker, and has been reported as a bug
by Chris Lang and several others, although I don't think it
is. If you're loaded down with items, holding onto
something handed to you is simply not as difficult as
bending over to pick it up yourself.
7. SHORTCUT TO RESIDA: The journey to Resida got a
little shorter in versions 37 and 10. Try this experiment.
Start the game and WAIT until you see the message
about the explosion (i.e. "A massive explosion rocks the
ship. Echoes from the explosion resound deafeningly
down the halls. A door to port slides open."). Immediately
go WEST, and then issue WAIT commands until you land
on Resida and die (because you never got in the
webbing).
In versions 20, 26, and 29, you will die after 14 WAIT
commands. In versions 37 and 10, it will only be 13.
What changed? Well, in versions 37 and 10, the turn
where you get the message:
Through the viewport of the pod you see the Feinstein
dwindle as you head away. Bursts of light dot its hull.
Suddenly, a huge explosion blows the Feinstein into tiny
pieces, sending the escape pod tumbling away!
You are thrown against the bulkhead, bruising a few
limbs. The safety webbing might have offered a bit more
protection.
and the turn where you get the message:
As the escape pod tumbles away from the former location
of the Feinstein, its gyroscopes whine. The pod slowly
stops tumbling. Lights on the control panel blink
furiously as the autopilot searches for a reasonable
destination.
were combined into one turn.
-------------------
Sorcerer
-------------------
1. All versions of Sorcerer have two images from
Spellbreaker among the selection of images you get when
casting the Vezza spell. One of them shows Spellbreaker's
opening scene in the Guild Hall, and the other shows a
pile of Foundation Cubes, already labeled. Apparently the
general plot of Spellbreaker was outlined long in advance.
2. In all versions of the game, the description of your
room mentions what an unusual privilege it is to have
your own private quarters. However Frobar and Helistar
also have them, and no bunkroom is to be found
anywhere. Of course, the Guild Hall has probably been
condensed for game purposes....
-------------------
Suspended
-------------------
1. Normally, when humans enter a room where Auda is
present, you will get the message: "AUDA INTERRUPT:
Some talking mechanisms just entered the room."
However, in no version of the game do you get this
message when the humans first enter the complex
through the Sterilization Chamber. Not a bug, but an
omission, nevertheless. -- Frederick Ramsberg
-------------------
The Witness
-------------------
1. COMPUTER DATING?: Here's a list from the New Zork
Times of interesting responses you can get while in
Monica's presence (in all versions of the game):
>MAKE LOVE TO MONICA
(Sorry, but English is my second language. Please
rephrase that.)
>ASK MONICA TO MAKE LOVE
(Your request was incomplete. Next time, say what you
want Monica to make the love from.)
>MAKE LOVE FROM MONICA
"Eat, drink, and make merry, for tomorrow we shall die!"
>ASK MONICA ABOUT LOVE
"That's between Mother and me."
-------------------
Zork I: The Great Underground Empire
-------------------
1. ZORK 4 - A NEW HOPE?: The title of Zork 1 was
changed after its commercial release. Originally the name
"The Great Underground Empire" applied to the series as
a whole, and Zork 1 was called "ZORK: THE GREAT
UNDERGROUND EMPIRE - Part 1," in Versions 5 and 15.
From Version 20 onward, the roman numeral "I" was
added to the game, and "The Great Underground Empire"
applied to Zork 1 only.
2. PYRRHIC VICTORY?: Zork 1 is probably the only
Infocom game where you don't have to survive to win. If
you get the ancient map, and then get killed, you don't
have to come back to life by praying at the altar. Simply
go to the Stone Barrow in your undead condition to win
with the full number of points.
Neither do the treasures matter after you've gotten the
map. You can throw all of the Treasures of Zork into the
Frigid River before going to the barrow, or you can take
as many as you can carry with you. Your score and
victory will be unaffected.
3. HUNT THE WUMPUS: In all versions of Zork 1
through version 30, if you enter the Bat Room without
the garlic, you get the following message:
Fweep!
Fweep!
Fweep!
A deranged giant vampire bat (a reject from WUMPUS)
swoops down from his belfry and lifts you away....
In versions 75, 76, 88 and 52, the reference to the
Wumpus game is deleted and the message simply reads:
A large vampire bat, hanging from the ceiling, swoops
down at you!
Fweep!
Fweep!
Fweep!
The bat grabs you by the scruff of your neck and lifts you
away....
4. FINITO?: The game's final message also changed.
Here is the original message, as it appeared in versions 5
and 15:
As you enter the barrow, the door closes inexorably
behind you. Around you it is dark, but ahead is an
enormous cavern, brightly lit. Through its center runs a
wide stream. Spanning the stream is a small wooden
footbridge, and beyond a path leads into a dark tunnel.
Above the bridge, floating in the air, is a large sign. It
reads: All ye who stand before this bridge have
completed a great and perilous adventure which has
tested your wit and courage. You have gained the
mastery of the first part of the Great Underground
Empire. Those who pass over this bridge must be
prepared to undertake an even greater adventure that
will severely test your skill and bravery!
Play "ZORK: The Great Underground Empire, Part II".
In version 20, the final sentence was changed to:
Play "ZORK II: The Wizard of Frobozz".
In versions 23, 25, 26, 28, and 30, the phrase "You have
gained the mastery of...." was changed to "You have
mastered the first part of..."
In version 75 and 76, "You have mastered the first part
of the Great Underground Empire," was changed to "You
have mastered the first part of the Zork Trilogy,", and
"Play "ZORK II: The Wizard of Frobozz"." was changed to:
The ZORK trilogy continues with "ZORK II: The Wizard of
Frobozz" and is completed in "ZORK III: The Dungeon
Master," available now at fine stores everywhere.
In versions 88 and the Solid Gold version (version 52),
the phrase "available now at fine stores everywhere" was
deleted.
5. EBCDIC: Extended Binary-Coded-Decimal-Interchange-
Code was a file format (infamous, really) formerly
used by IBM as an alternative to ASCII. In all versions of
Zork I through Version 30, the description of the
maintenance room is like so:
Maintenance Room
This is what appears to have been the maintenance room
for Flood Control Dam #3. Apparently, this room has been
ransacked recently, for most of the valuable equipment is
gone. On the wall in front of you is a group of buttons,
which are labeled in EBCDIC. However, they are of
different colors: Blue, Yellow, Brown, and Red. The doors
to this room are in the west and south ends.
In Versions 75, 76, 88 and 52, the last three sentences of
this description are changed to remove the reference to
EBCDIC:
On the wall in front of you is a group of buttons colored
blue, yellow, brown, and red. There are doorways to the
west and south.
Interestingly, the description of the Machine Room in
Zork 2, which also had buttons labeled in EBCDIC, was
never changed, even though at least one version of the
game was released after the change was made to Zork 1.
In fact, the Zork 2 description says that "naturally" the
buttons are labeled this way, meaning that you must
have expected that after seeing it in Zork 1.
6. NORTH OF HOUSE: In all versions of Zork 1 up to
version 30, if you are at "North of house", and want to go
to "Behind House", you can only go east. In versions 75
and later, you can go either east or southeast.
7. GOTTA MATCH?: In all versions of Zork 1 after
Version 30, opening the matchbook will tell you how
many matches are left. In versions through Version 30,
trying to open it will generate the message "You must tell
me how to do that to a matchbook." In these versions, the
only way to tell how many matches you have is with the
command COUNT MATCHES.
8. ODD SYNONYMS: In all versions of Zork 1, the
deflated pile of plastic can be referred to as a "boat", but
not as a "raft." Once inflated, it can be called either one.
9. THE WORST DAM PUZZLE: In most versions of Zork 1,
there are two ways to obtain the platinum bar; either by
saying ECHO in the Loud Room to change the acoustics, or
by entering the room while the dam is refilling. In the
first version of the game (version 5), the second solution
does not work.
In most versions of the game, the room is "loud" when
the dam is full, "extremely loud" (meaning you can't stay
there at all) while it is emptying, and "quiet" when it is
refilling. In Version 5, it is "loud" in all three
circumstances.
10. GUESS THE VERB: The coal machine long provided
one of Infocom's very rare guess-the-word puzzles. In all
versions up to Version 30, FLIP was about the only verb
that would work on the switch (i.e. FLIP SWITCH WITH
SCREWDRIVER). In Versions 75 and later, PUSH, MOVE,
and probably a few more would work.
11. READING MATERIAL: In Zork 1, there are four bits
of reading material: The leaflet in the mailbox, the Zork
Owner's Manual, the Tour Guidebook, and the matchbook.
The text of each of these was revised in various versions
of the game.
11a. THE LEAFLET: The leaflet in the mailbox in Zork 1
underwent a couple of revisions. This is the leaflet as it
appeared in Versions 5 and 15:
-------------------
WELCOME TO ZORK
-------------------
ZORK is a game of adventure, danger, and low cunning. In
it you will explore some of the most amazing territory
ever seen by mortals.
No computer should be without one!
The original ZORK was created by Tim Anderson, Marc
Blank, Bruce Daniels, and Dave Lebling. It was inspired by
the ADVENTURE game of Crowther and Woods. This
version was created by Marc Blank, Dave Lebling, Joel
Berez, and Scott Cutler.
(c) Copyright 1979 & 1980 Infocom, Inc. All rights
reserved.
After version 15, the third paragraph with it's reference
to the Colossal Cave Adventure game, was deleted, and
the fourth paragraph was expanded. This is how the
leaflet looked in Versions 20, 23, 25, 26, 28 and 30:
<p>
<pre>
WELCOME TO ZORK
ZORK is a game of adventure, danger, and low cunning. In
it you will explore some of the most amazing territory
ever seen by mortals.
No computer should be without one!
Copyright 1982 by Infocom, Inc.
All rights reserved.
ZORK is a trademark of Infocom, Inc.
Finally, the copyright paragraph was also deleted and the
whole leaflet message was put in quotation marks, and
combined into one paragraph. The leaflet in versions 75,
76, 88, and 52 looks like this:
WELCOME TO ZORK!
ZORK is a game of adventure, danger, and low cunning. In
it you will explore some of the most amazing territory
ever seen by mortals. No computer should be without
one!"
11b. THE ZORK OWNER'S MANUAL: There were four
separate versions of the Zork Owner's Manual. The first
one, appearing only in Version 5, looked like this:
Congratulations!
You are the privileged owner of a genuine ZORK Great
Underground Empire (Part I), a self contained and self
maintaining universe. As a legitimate owner, you have
available to you both the Movement Assistance Planner
(MAP) and Hierarchical Information for Novice Treasure
Seekers (HINTS). For information about these and other
services, send a stamped, self-addressed, business-size
envelope to:
Infocom, Inc.
GUE I Maintenance Division
PO Box 120, Kendall Station
Cambridge, Mass. 02142
For version 15, the funny acronyms and hint instructions
were removed in favor of a commercial for Zork 2, and
looked like this:
Congratulations!
You are the privileged owner of a genuine ZORK Great
Underground Empire (Part I), a self contained and self
maintaining universe. If used and maintained in
accordance with normal operating practices for small
universes, ZORK will provide many months of trouble-
free operation. Please check with your dealer for Part II
and other alternate universes.
After Version 15, the manual was altered slightly to
remove the reference to Zork 2, and to this game being
part 1. Here's how the manual looked in Versions 20, 23,
25, 26, 28, and 30:
Congratulations!
You are the privileged owner of a genuine ZORK: The
Great Underground Empire, a self-contained and self-
maintaining universe. If used and maintained in
accordance with normal operating practices for small
universes, ZORK will provide many months of trouble-
free operation.
After Version 30, the manual was changed even more
slightly, simply by adding a blank line after
"Congratulations!" It appeared that way in Versions 75,
76, 88, and 52.
11c. THE TOUR GUIDEBOOK FOR FLOOD CONTROL DAM #3:
Except for minor pagination changes, The Tour Guidebook
only changed once; for the Solid Gold version. Here is how
it appeared there:
" Flood Control Dam #3
FCD#3 was constructed in year 783 of the Great
Underground Empire to harness the mighty Frigid River.
This work was supported by a grant of 37 million
zorkmids from your omnipotent local tyrant Lord Dimwit
Flathead the Excessive. This impressive structure is
composed of 370,000 cubic feet of concrete, is 256 feet
tall at the center, and 193 feet wide at the top. The lake
created behind the dam has a volume of 1.7 billion cubic
feet, an area of 12 million square feet, and a shore line of
36 thousand feet.
The construction of FCD#3 took 112 days from ground
breaking to the dedication. It required a work force of
384 slaves, 34 slave drivers, 12 engineers, 2 turtle doves,
and a partridge in a pear tree. The work was managed by
a command team composed of 2345 bureaucrats, 2347
secretaries (at least two of whom could type), 12,256
paper shufflers, 52,469 rubber stampers, 245,193 red
tape processors, and nearly one million dead trees.
We will now point out some of the more interesting
features of FCD#3 as we conduct you on a guided tour of
the facilities:
1) You start your tour here in the Dam Lobby. You will
notice on your right that....
In previous versions, the paragraph beginning with "The
construction of FCD#3 took 112 days" was not present.
11d. THE MATCHBOOK: The matchbook remained
virtually identical in all versions of Zork 1. It was
changed only once, and very slightly. This is how it
appeared in versions 5, 15, 20, 23, 25, 26, 28, and 30:
(Close cover before striking)
YOU too can make BIG MONEY in the exciting field of
PAPER SHUFFLING!
Mr. Anderson of Muddle, Mass. says: "Before I took this
course I used to be a lowly bit twiddler. Now with what I
learned at GUE Tech I feel really important and can
obfuscate and confuse with the best."
Dr. Blank had this to say: "Ten short days ago all I could
look forward to was a dead-end job as a doctor. Now I
have a promising future and make really big Zorkmids."
GUE Tech can't promise these fantastic results to
everyone. But when you earn your MDL degree from GUE
Tech, your future will be brighter.
In versions 75, 76, 88, and 52 the grammar was changed
to eliminate a slight redundancy. The phrase "I used to be
a lowly bit twiddler," was changed to "I was a lowly bit
twiddler."
-------------------
Zork II: The Wizard of Frobozz
-------------------
1. In the first release of Zork 2 (version 7), the game is
subtitled "The Great Underground Empire - Part 2.", in
addition to "The Wizard of Frobozz." (See the discussion of
the series title under Zork 1, for more about this).
2. In versions 18, 19, 22, 23, and 48, you must have the
Wizard's Wand with you when you descend the staircase
to the Zork 3 area, or else you will be killed by the green
lines of force. In versions 7, 15, and 17, the wand is not
necessary to win.
3. All versions of Zork 2 know the words "Ulysses" and
"Odysseus" (from Zork 1), but have no response for them.
The game simply returns no output at all and goes to the
next turn. This is obviously a holdover from the days of
the mainframe Zork. No version of Zork 3 knows either
word. -- P. Darnowsky
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKS IN PROGRESS
Sneak previews of two up-and-coming text adventures
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Nindstrom Effect is an upcoming TADS game. On
board a space ship in orbit around Planet Earth, things
begin to happen which awaken suspicion in the crew.
Situations develop leaving the player puzzled. The Terran
Space Administration seems different than a few years
ago, or is it just the Captain? Players will have to sort
their way through a series of puzzles for the first part of
the game, and then deal with a completely unlinked plot
twist -- or so it seems. The Nindstrom Effect promises to
take place in no less than 10 locations and provide the
player with no less than 200 or more rooms to explore,
plenty of puzzles from simple to hard to keep the IF
game players mind thinking hard. The full release is
expected to be around mid 1998, baring any unforeseen
problems.
--Angus McLaren
[email protected]
Tantomile's Journey starts with the player character
standing in complete darkness. While you try to figure
out what`s wrong, you will be told about some rather
painful changes in your body. A bit later, you emerge
from the darkness as a chimaera girl, walking on four
legs, with deep violet fur, a demon's tail, three-toed feet
(right, hind legs), gleaming eyes and batlike wings. But
you were a human before...
That's the intro. The real game starts when Januar, the
Muse of Dreams, visits you and offers you a unique
chance: She will allow you to re-write your history. You
were shape-changed by magic, and now have the chance
to make this transformation undone. To do so, you will
need the help of the Sapphire of Dreamweaving; this
sacred gem will allow you to go back in time, and try to
change your own history. To find the Sapphire is the first
task, but it is merely the introduction, forcing you to
create a magical potion, figure out what a foxfire is any
good for, and reunite a Nymph and the skeleton of a dead
Knight. Once the Gemstone is in your hands, you will still
need to trigger its magic, and then, you will be sent back
to the night of your transformation- and you will find out
why you were transformed, and what the effects where,
are, and will be...
So far, Tantomile's Journey consists of about twenty
rooms, and takes my Playtester about an hour to be
solved. I spent quite a lot of time to make Tantomile a
fleshed-out character, without confusing the player. I
found few games featuring a definitely female main
character, and Tantomile is not even human. Then again,
this allows some nice features: Tantomile is able to fly,
has extremely well-developed senses, and still is a
human soul trapped in the body of a beast. There was
some trouble with that, too, since holding about twenty
items while walking on four legs is quite tricky (well,
there are automatic sack_object...).
I also thought of a great online-help: Whenever you type
"help", you'll be given a sandwich. Thinking isn't easy if
you're hungry...
--Bjorn Ludwig
[email protected]
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Live from the MUD: The Second Annual XYZZYs
The Second Annual XYZZY Awards Ceremonies were held
live on February 5, 1998 on Liza Daly's ifMUD: A MUD
Forever Voyaging. The following transcript outlines the
games and the authors that won top honors. Some of the
MUD activity (such as attendees signing on, leaving the
room, or laughing in general) not affecting the course of
events has been omitted for brevity's sake.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Auditorium
Newly dug, this immense auditorium is almost pristine.
Hundreds of rows of plush velvet seats surround the
main stage in a graceful 'U.' Wide aisles allow easy
passage, and converge into a shallow orchestra pit. There
is a brightly-lit doorway to the west, over which hangs
the helpful sign, "Exit."
On the stage you can see a podium.
Spatch hollers, "FREE PIE to whoever can help me with
our MUD's wildcard/substitution system!"
neild says, "Mmm... pie."
Atomic looks impressed at the nice comfy seats.
In front of the entire MUD: jaysmith hollers (at Spatch),
"What's the problem?"
Atomic looks impressed with all the famous names from
r.a.i-f here...
DGlasser waves at all.
eileen tugs nervously at her little black dress.
mamster storms out, forgetting his pants.
Atomic straightens his bow tie
ddyte tugs nervously at his little black dress.
Jstn asks, "is it possible to block out everything the
audience says, and only hear what the person on the
podium says?"
Den levitates to ten feet and then remains there, cross-
legged
Grocible wonders if he should be wearing something
special
neild says (to Jstn), "SHUT EARS."
Spatch changed especially for the occasion.
mamster stares, enrapt, at the funky chicken.
Adam says (to Jstn), "That would kill mimesis."
>KILL MIMESIS
Mimesis cries!
ddyte says, "Mimesis is dead, Jim."
Jalkio ashes a cigarette into the collar of the person
sitting in front of him.
markm says, "It's his game, after all."
zarf turns around and whaps Jalkio
You were supposed to nurture mimesis.
Sargent dozes off, his nose dipping into his program.
A hollow voice says, "No smoking please."
eileen exclaims, "That would be a crime! No, a sin!"
neild cranes his neck to see over all the tall people.
Jalkio says (to zarf), "Sorry."
markm stands on his chair.
Ivan exclaims (to ddyte), ""Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not
an editor!"
zarf eats the curtains.
Grocible pulls on a casual chainmail shirt over his
leopardskin spandex bodysuit
neild lops off the head of the person in front of him.
zarf says (to curtains), "Sorry."
Grocible puts on his pith helmet
ddyte exclaims (to neild), "Ow!"
Jalkio puts off his cigarette on Zarf's neck.
jaysmith take a seat.
Spatch says, "oh boy."
Sargent says, "If Cask wins, I'm rushing the stage."
mamster says (to Sargent), "It's going to win. I rigged it."
Spatch asks, "Is Matt Barringer getting the Lifetime
Achievement Award this year?"
markm raises his hand. "Um," he says. "I appear to have
broken my chair."
Sargent exclaims (to mamster), "Sweet!"
Den asks, "Sadie Hawkins?"
Jalkio shouts "HEIST! HEIST! HEIST!"
ddyte says (to Spatch), "You da man."
Grocible says, "poor matt barringer"
mamster says (to Den), "The best rock band made up of
all ifMUD regulars."
zarf says, "Hell, poor anyone who the newsgroup decides
to laugh at."
Grocible says, "I think we should stop using Matt
Barringer's name in vain"
The newsgroup laughs at zarf.
mamster tries to start a mosh pit, but is shut down by
security. Off the pig!
devil says (to neild), "Good afternoon."
Jalkio draws a banderoll saying "Andy Rules!
DGlasser exclaims (to devil), "Satan!"
Spatch says (to zarf), "actually, all I did was use the
MUD's new %easy-target substitution feature."
ddyte says (to Grocible), "Do we have to? I had 57
slagging references to him all lined up for my next game."
Spatch says (to zarf), "it automatically figures out the
person who will least likely be able to defend themselves
from whatever pithy barbs you choose to fling."
Den says, "I'll never release anything in my own name
then."
eileen checks her watch. It's 3:59! We'll be starting soon...
Den says, "Of course, that was always inevitable."
TikiBoy says, "This security is pretty harsh."
Ghogg calmly takes out a ray gun and vaporizes security.
mamster says (to TikiBoy), "Rock and roll is not a pretty
thing."
Ghogg asks, "There, isn't that better?"
neild begins clapping in unison. At least as unison as one
person can get, anyway.
zarf offs the pig.
devil says, "I trained all the security guards myself."
DGlasser claps with neild.
Spatch starts logging.
Jalkio joins neild.
mamster is on the edge of his seat.
neild says, "CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP"
ddyte syncopates on that rhythm.
Ender begins clapping out of unison.
TikiBoy asks (to mamster), "No kidding!! What's the deal
with most alternative bands looking like they need a flea
dip?"
Ender attempts to throw off neild's rhythm.
eileen walks over to the podium.
Den practices clapping but forgot to code his hands as
separate objects...
mamster says (to Tiki), "Mmm...sheep dip."
ddyte plays bass to the rhythm.
Spatch sells overpriced t-shirts, incense sticks, and wall
hangings.
eileen clears her throat to get everyone's attention.
DGlasser claps with one hand.
Grace Jones is Slave to the Rhythm.
Sargent lets his attention wander.
devil waves his wand and gives everyone a few more
hands.
Ender walks over to the podium and orders a Tom Collins.
eileen says, ""Welcome to the second annual XYZZY
awards!""
DGlasser listens to eileen. Sort of.
Ghogg buys an incense stick reading 'I Went to the
Second Annual XYZZY Awards and All I Got Was This
Stupid Incense Stick.'
neild says, "Last year's was better."
eileen says, "We have 10 winners to honor tonight, in
both old categories and new."
Dilbon asks, "What was it like last year?"
neild exclaims, "Best Game for best old category!"
DGlasser lost already.
markm exclaims, "shhh!"
eileen says, "It's just like the academy awards.."
Would the owner of a red toyota, license plate xyzzy,
please remove your car from the handicapped parking
zone?
Gunther puts baby in blender
blender cries!
zarf says, "Guess it was Bruce's car."
devil asks, "I wonder if the devil will win this year
(again)?"
eileen says, "I will present the first award, the winner of
the Best Use of Medium award."
DGlasser asks (to eileen), "The big overpriced games
win?"
mamster asks (to eileen), "Wait--what about the part
where Billy Crystal sings that damn song?"
eileen says, "And the nominees are..."
Den munches pop-corn contentedly.
neild asks, "Where are the people from the polling firm?"
TikiBoy cuts the suspense with a butter knife.
devil turns Den's popcorn into stones.
eileen says, "A New Day (Jonathan Fry)("
eileen says, "Interstate Zero (Adam Cadre)"
zarf whistles
liza says, "YEAH SADIE RULEZ!!!1"
lpsmith pats Adam on the back.
TikiBoy pats Adam on the back soundly.
lpsmith exclaims (to TikiBoy), "Timing!"
Sargent exclaims, "Play Freebird!"
eileen says, "Sunset Over Savannah (Ivan Cockrum)"
TikiBoy says (to adam), "You know, it's an honor just to
be nominated..."
ddyte sits quietly sipping mineral water waiting for the
Great Prophet Zarquon.
Pastiche sings, "I been up and down that highway,
haven't seen a goddamn thing..."
Atomic wishes he'd played more games...
eileen says, ""The Space Under the Window (Andrew
Plotkin)"
Den wishes he'd played _any_ games.
Jstn votes for Titanic.. oops wrong awards
eileen says, "and The Tempest (Graham Nelson)"
Adam asks (to Jstn), "But what about all the nudity?"
Dilbon asks, "A draw?"
neild exclaims, "Yay William!"
mamster exclaims, "Yay nudity!"
eileen waits for the drumroll
Bruce drumrolls.
Drums roll.
And Titanic wins for Most Nekkid People Award.... She's
Got A Thing gets honorable mention...
Drum rolls!
Ghogg rolls a drum.
Spatch rolls a drum nosily down the aisle.
Sargent says, "BrrrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRrrrrrr..."
Jstn says, "ok, they could have taken stuff out of it, but
the story was still good"
Den says, "Verily, 'tis a fine gamme."
eileen says, "And the winner is...."
Drums roll into the audience, injuring hundreds.
neild dies from the suspense.
Sadie rolls a wicked snare.
devil revives neild.
zarf bates breath
Jalkio starts stomping his foot. "Savannah, savannah!"
eileen exclaims, "The Tempest ... Graham Nelson!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims (to devil), "Timing!"
neild exclaims, "Whoa!"
lpsmith Whoops!
markm cheers wildly.
Den exclaims, "Huzzah!"
Ellison asks, "what award was this?"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo Graham!"
Sargent applauds madly.
DGlasser cheers!
Atomic dies of suspense
liza says, "Wow."
Bruce claps.
Spatch exclaims, "AWRIGHT! Acceptance speech in iambic
pentameter!"
devil asks, "Is he here?"
Sargent says, "Someone needs to do their parody of
Graham now."
Grocible exclaims, "Graham wins again!"
zarf cpas
lpsmith boogies.
DGlasser exclaims, "Go Ariel!"
Jemima Applauds!!!
TikiBoy applauds loudly!!
Stu042 applauds
Adam says, "Man, Angela M. Horns was robbed."
devil says, "I prefer Caliban myself."
Ellison applesauces
Gunther applauds madly (he voted this)
eileen asks, "Is Graham here to accept his award?"
Graham says, "I have prepared a three-hour acceptance
speech in the style of Stephen Douglas.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Anyone here to take this
trophy off my hands?"
markm looks around.
Adam exclaims, "Er, I'm Graham!"
Spatch asks, "doesn't the Earl of Oxford get to accept the
award?"
markm slaps Adam.
Sargent says, "_I_ am Graham."
Taj cheers
neild exclaims, "No, I'm Graham. And so's my wife!"
ddyte exclaims, "I'm Graham and so is my ex-wife!"
lpsmith exclaims, "I'm Graham, and so is my wife!"
mamster says, "I am Tiger Woods, dammit."
DGlasser exclaims, "Me too!"
neild exclaims, "Mega-timing!"
Bruce exclaims, "Timing!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Eeeagh! Timing!"
Spatch asks, "Which of you is the author they call
Grahamacus?"
DGlasser quoted everything first.
Jalkio exclaims, "Graham is my ex-wife!"
liza says, "NEXT."
Spartacus says, "I'm Graham."
markm asks, "Which award was that?"
eileen exclaims, ""OK, no worry. We will make sure
Grapham gets his award, and the XYZZYnews T-shirt that
will be sent to all winners!!"
DGlasser says, "Always look on the bright side of life."
TikiBoy munches some Graham crackers.
NamelessAdventurer sadly packs the humongous trophy
away for shipment to Grahamland.
Ellison says (to Spatch), "keep up with that and we'll all
be crucified before the awards are done.."
Grocible senses a little impatience
Bruce applauds wildly.
Shakespeare says, "I'll take that trophy, thank you."
Ivan exclaims, "Gramaclese cares not for beans!"
DGlasser exclaims, "There's a prize? Wow!"
devil asks, "Hey! Why weren't there t-shirts last year?!?"
mamster says (to zarf), "Yep. You were robbed."
Bruce robs Zarf.
neild zarfs Rob.
ddyte says, "Shakespeare's use of his medium sucked.
Only Graham made The Tempest live."
Ellison zarfs Rob
lpsmith robs Zarfus to pay Graham.
Adam exclaims (to ddyte), "Ha!"
eileen asks, ""Zarf, I'll send you a belated T-shirt, okay?"
edharel says, "Hello, all"
zarf mutters, If I'da known there were shirts I woulda
voted for myself.
Bruce exclaims, "Timing!"
Stephen Keaton says (to neild), "Is it Bob or Rob?"
eileen says, "Now let me introduce our next presenter..."
Grocible asks, "is zarf low on shirts?"
devil asks (to eileen), "Just Zarf?"
mamster says, "Okay, I can't even type fast enough to
make jokes here."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Now?"
devil weeps.
SadieHawkins strikes up a stunning rendition of, "You
Made My Dog Not Love Me Anymore."
Bruce cries!
Ellison makes a witty joke that impels all to laugh
lpsmith sets up a collection for the "Keep Zarf Clothed"
Fund.
markm cheers! Oh, wait...
TikiBoy says (to mamster), "You know, it's an honor to
just be able to type..."
Ellison says, "make that compels"
Jstn asks, "who won the first award?"
Adam says (to mamster), "Load Film Now."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Now?"
Sargent sets up a collection for the "Make Zarf Unclothed"
fund.
eileen says, "Here to present"
DGlasser says (to jstn), "Shakespeare."
eileen says, "...the award for Best Individual PC..."
Grocible asks, "wasn't it mamster cheering nudity just
now?"
neild says, "ZARF, UNDRESS."
Dilbon shakes his spear.
Spatch says, "MAKE.NEKKID.FAST"
markm closes his eyes.
mamster says (to Grocible), "That is correct. But not
random acts of nudity."
A jumbo jet zooms noisily by overhead, temporarily
drowning out the proceedings. damned airport hotel
ballrooms!
Den stares in horror as time slows to a standstill - on his
server, anyway. :-(
eileen exclaims, "...is the Adventurer! Take it away!"
Gunther donates sums of money to lpsmith's fund
Grocible says, "pffft! anarchist nudity is nudity at its best"
NamelessAdventurer clears his/her throat.
mamster says (to Grocible), "Actually, random acts of
nudity are fine, depending on who is doing the
displaying."
DGlasser says (to sargent), "Black."
Bruce opens a bottle of champagne and sprays it about
wildly.
mamster says (to Grocible), "Actually, they're fine in
general."
devil shoots flame at everyone in glee.
Grocible says, "mamster: come visit Wreck Beach
sometime in the summer"
Grocible listens to the Nameless Adventurer
mamster wrecks beach.
Spatch echo beaches.
markm listens with abated breath.
Den freezes, flickers badly, comes to life briefly then
freezes again.
Bruce puts the baby in the blender.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hi! I'm the Nameless
Adventurer! You know me from such games as the Zork
Trilogy and the Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die! series!"
devil heats Den up a bit so he won't freeze any more.
Sargent asks (to Spatch), "There's a series?"
DGlasser says (to sarge), "Unfortunately."
>PICK UP NAMELESS ADVENTURER
ddyte says, "I always thought that adventurer's name
was David Dyte. Damn."
****You have died****
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Today I get to introduce
one of the new categories, instituted by popular acclaim:
Best Individual PC!"
Gunther picks up the phone booth
Bruce dies.
zarf attempts to shackle Stu042 to his chair, too
NamelessAdventurer says, "This is my only moment of
glory. Other than lugging around this stupid trophies..."
Ender exclaims, "The Phone Booth for Best Individual PC!"
Ender ignores NamelessAdventurer's moment of glory.
Gunther dies.
markm shivers slightly, turns translucent and, without
warning, evaporates into the aether.
Dilbon says, "The most PC award."
Ellison sighs, wistfully, and remembers his childhood
dream to lug around trophies...
NamelessAdventurer says, "Really, after last year, I'm a
bit upset that they didn't let me MC the whole thing this
year..."
lpsmith says (to NamelessAdventurer), "Well, you won
Zork III,..."
Jstn likes the teddy bear from Bear's night out
Adam exclaims, "Best Individual Mac: Macaulay Culkin!"
Jalkio says, "Votes himself for the best individual PC."
Spatch surreptitiously wanders around the aisles selling
rotted fruits and vegetables.
DGlasser buys fruit.
NamelessAdventurer wobbles on the podium in a drug-
induced haze.
Jemima listens to that Nameless guy.
DGlasser joins the horde.
ddyte exclaims (to Spatch), "Tomato here!"
There's some confusion as no one can tell apart the Daddy
Mac or the Mac Daddy...
Spatch exclaims (to ddyte), "that's no tomato, that's my
sister!"
Adam exclaims, "Warm it up, Chris!"
Ellison exclaims, "I'm about to!"
Ellison exclaims, "haah!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "1. The Bear, from A Bear's
Night Out (David Dyte)"
Ivan exclaims (to Spatch), "Oh fruit boy! I'll take a
cabbage while you're at it!"
Jstn cheers for the bear
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo! Yeah! Awright!"
Adam exclaims, "Snuggle must die!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAAAH DAVE AND BEAR!!!!"
Ender gives the bear a hug.
NamelessAdventurer says, "2. David, from Babel (Ian
Finley)"
Sargent chants, "bear...Bear...BEAR!"
Ellison cheers for the bear
mamster says (to Adam), "Blue is pretty."
devil cheers and whoops for the bear!
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAH IAN!!!!!!!"
Bruce exclaims, "BEAR! BEAR! BEAR!"
even if the bear doesn't molest that dumb guy in the
bed...
Atomic go Ian!
Spatch exclaims, "And then the bear comes back for more
fighting!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "3. Tracy Valencia, from I-0
(Adam Cadre)"
DGlasser says (to nameless), "You just gave away the
whole plot."
Tracy Valencia cries! Naked!
Taj exclaims, "Tracy! Tracy!"
IF rushes in, tying his bow tie and slipping on his tailcoat
Sargent says, "Tracy does IF."
edharel says, "I-0! (The only one I've played :))"
NamelessAdventurer says, "4. Improv, from Frenetic Five
(Neil deMause)"
Ender exclaims, "Hey! We used up the nudity jokes
already!"
zarf hugs Tracy.
ddyte exclaims, "Nude Improv!"
Bruce licks Tracy.
DGlasser exclaims (to neild), "YEAH!!! NEIL!!!"
edharel exclaims, "Oh, err, and FrenFive too!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "5. Mattie, from the Lost
Spellmaker (Neil James BRown)"
devil exclaims, "Improv rocks!"
Grocible says, "nudity is an endless source of hilarity"
Guest says, ""Yay neil!""
Tracy slaps Zarf. "And dinner was no fun either!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
mamster says (to ddyte), "Live nude improv would be
really funny."
mamster says (to ddyte), "Actually someone always gets
naked during theatre sports."
NamelessAdventurer tears open the envelope.
Sargent says, "Shh."
DGlasser strips.
Spatch exclaims, "bare bear!"
NamelessAdventurer looks.
Jalkio exclaims, "Why wasn't the player character from
Symetry a nominee!?! Boo!"
Sargent whomps Spatch.
zarf exclaims, "bare dwarf!"
Ellison says, "someday, we may have an award with only
Neil nominees..."
NamelessAdventurer cringes.
devil exclaims, "Say it already!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "The inner is Tracy
Valencia, from I-0!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "The winner, even!"
DGlasser asks, "The inner?"
Sargent asks, "Who's the outer?"
DGlasser asks, "What's the outer?"
mamster exclaims, "I thought she was an outie!"
edharel says, "I-0!!!! *clap* *clap*"
Taj cheers wildly!
Spatch says, "WOOOOOHOOOOO"
Guest asks, "Um, the inner?"
lpsmith asks, "She's an innie?"
Adam says, "Wow! What can I say? I'm touched. And
even though Tracy couldn't be here to accept this award,
I'm sure she's touched too. In fact, she's probably being
touched this very moment."
DGlasser exclaims (to sarge), "Timing!"
Sargent politely applauds Tracy and her muse Adam.
unicorn congratulates Adam
Atomic congratulates Adam!
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY!!!! Adam!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims (to adam), "you practiced that one for
weeks! admit it!"
Guest exclaims, "congrats Adam!"
Adam says, ""What makes this award especially
meaningful is that Tracy won it on merit. See, she'd
planned to rig the awards by sleeping with everyone on
r*if. But she got mixed up and ended up sleeping with
everyone on alt.tv.teletubbies instead."
IF says, "Bravi"
DGlasser says (to adam), "You see, this is why I didn't
cheer earlier."
Bruce shakes Adam's hand.
ddyte congratulates Adam and heads off to sulk
somewhere.
zarf cheers for sex in IF.
IF says, "Thank you zarf ;)"
Jstn cheers for the bear, winner of People
Spatch says (to zarf), "wait'll adam enhances I-0 for
Blorb."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Adam, would you like to say
a few words?"
lpsmith and a bunch of others hoist Adam to their
shoulders, chanting.
liza says (to Adventurer), "He already did."
NamelessAdventurer realizes Adam's already saying
words, and slumps in disgrace.
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual PC trophy to
Adam.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Here."
SadieHawkins jams out to "Free Bird" in celebration.
Ellison mistakes the Nameless Adventurer for the head
from 'Losing'... and after growing tired of making fun of
it, kicks it in the head
Den says, "Phew!""
Jalkio mutters: "At least there was nothing commercially
sexual about the PC in Symetry."
Sargent says, "I want to hear about the accounting firm
responsible for handling voting."
Adam says, "I-- I believe that art is about giving, so I
want to ask Mr. Jack Lemmon to come up on stage and
take this award."
mamster falls over.
DGlasser exclaims (to jalkio), "Hey! I liked symmetry!"
mamster asks (to Adam), "Who do you think you AHHHH?
Ving RHAAAAAMES?"
edharel asks, "I don't 'know the word 'sex'. What would
your mother say?"
Adam says (to mamster), "I knew you'd be the only one
to get that."
Ivan gives Tracy Valencia to zarf.
Ellison plots to make fake XYZZY awards t-shirts and sell
them to shafted nominees for outrageous prices...
eileen says, "Now let me introduce the presenter of the
next award..."
Sargent exclaims (to Ellison), "Hey! This t-shirt says
"yzzyX" on it!"
Sargent exclaims (to Ellison), "That's not right!"
eileen exclaims, "Here to present the award for Best
Individual NPC is last year's winner: the devil from Small
World!"
Spatch says (to sargent), "That's ok, sir it'll ride up with
wear. No, wait. Sorry."
mamster asks, "Hey, is Kim Basinger going to be
presenting?"
Ellison exclaims (to Sargent), "you read the warranty,
right? that's right, buddy, there wasn't one!"
devil says, "Thank, you all. No, don't boo, really."
Sargent says (to Ellison), "Oh, man, oh, man, I was such a
fool."
edharel dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
Sargent says (to Ellison), "AND this thing needs batteries.
Geez."
devil pushes Sargent off the podium
edharel got XYZZY t-shirt.
devil says, "The nominees for best individual NPC are..."
neild exclaims, "De-VIL! De-VIL!"
edharel asks, "Alright, who wanted an Xyzzy shirt?"
devil says, "...Taco Junta girl in Interstate Zero (Adam
Cadre)..."
Adam says, "Sheila the Taco Junta girl says thanks for the
nomination, and she'll meet you all here at six o'clock to
thank you all personally."
Dilbon asks, "Cruella DeVil?"
devil says, "2. The big tree in Sum Game Zero."
mamster exclaims, "Taco!"
edharel exclaims, "Taco Junta!"
Spatch exclaims, "It'll be a sapphic shocker should she
win!"
devil says, "...Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die (R.
Noyes)..."
Grocible asks, "Sheila eh?"
Bruce shocks a Sapphic.
devil says, "Sorry, that last one I think was wrong."
Ender chants, "Phone booth! Phone booth!"
devil says, "I'm pasting these in here from another text
program, gimme a sec..."
Ellison exclaims, "who's going to tell the phone booth?
he'll be crushed!"
Paul bows to Liza in gratitude
devil says, "...Bob in She's Got a Thing for a Spring (Brent
vanFossen)..."
IF cuts tension with knife
ddyte says, "Once again the devil gets his ass whipped,
just like in Georgia."
devil says, "...The devil in Sins Against Mimesis (Adam
Thornton)..."
IF applauds wildly for Brent
> HIT BOB WITH FIST
Adam says, "3. Bob the Microsoft OS..."
Taj repairs tension with glue.
mamster says (to ddyte), "I hear Jesus just left Chicago."
Bruce cheers wildly for his own game.
devil says, "...The Stranger in The Edifice (Lucian
Smith)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY Other DEVIL!!!!"
devil says, "...The cow in The Lost Spellmaker (Neil
James Brown)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY STRANGER!!!!"
ddyte says, "Moooooo"
neild says, "Mmm... cow."
lpsmith attempts to look modest, and fails.
Spatch exclaims, "COWS ALWAYS WIN!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEIL's COW!!!!"
Dilbon says, "Don't have a cow, man."
edharel asks, "moo?"
Taj exclaims, "Go Stranger! Go Friend!"
Ender says, "This is nothing out of the ordinary. Cows
turn themselves inside out all the time."
TikiBoy says, "Jesus kicks Satan's ass."
devil takes the envelope.
DGlasser exclaims, "GO EVERYONE!"
DGlasser asks (to tiki), "South Park?"
devil tears it open.
mamster exclaims, "Go Fighting Marmosets!"
Ellison feels compelled to cheer for the cow...
TikiBoy exclaims (to dglasser), "of course!"
neild exclaims, "Let's go, devil!"
devil loses the envelope in all the confusion.
Spatch says, "Rise, and shout, the Ameobas are out..."
Ender butchers and eats the cow.
devil picks it up again.
Ellison eats the envelope!
Armed thugs from Price Waterhouse commit mass
slaughter.
Spatch thinks the spear and stump should get a co-
nomination
lpsmith gives devil the envelope. Really!
devil says, "And the winner is..."
Spatch says, "What a team."
For good measure, Ender butchers and eats Tracy
Valentia.
liza exclaims, "YOUR MOM!"
devil says, "She's Got a Thing --> Bob"
lpsmith cheers!
Spatch exclaims, "YAY BOB!"
neild applauds!
Ghogg exclaims, "Whee!"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo! Yay Bob!"
devil exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay Bob!"
IF says, "emotes continues to cheer wildly"
Adam exclaims, "Eww! She's got a THING!"
Bruce cheers, then breaks into explosive sobs.
ct applauds for bob!!
liza asks, "But what about Bob?"
edharel says, "*clap* *clap*"
Jemima applauds loudly, even though she hasn't played
that game yet.
mamster exclaims (to Adam), "Some kind of SQUID
THING!"
Spatch exclaims, "She's got a thing for a squid!"
devil levitates from the podium.
Dilbon says, "Bob killed Laura Palmer."
Jalkio exclaims, "Yay Bob! A man to my liking!"
Ellison exclaims, "Now you can afford a real house that's
not out there in nowhere!"
ddyte feels Bruce's pain in return. Ooh, squishy.
Spatch says (to dilbon), "no, that was BoB. or bOb."
Ender sings, "Jesus brother Bob, Jesus brother Bob, a
nobody relative of the Son of God."
TikiBoy says, "Microsoft Bob."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is Brent here anywhere?"
devil goes and sulks that he didn't win 2 years in a row.
Then he cheers up again and congratulates Brent
vanFossen.
Jalkio says (to dglasser), "Bob."
DGlasser asks, "Wasn't the devil bob too?"
DGlasser asks, "The cool nature photo guy, right?"
Paul looks over his shoulder to make sure his boss isn't
watching.
Gunther congratulates
Atomic asks, "Maybe someone can pick up the award on
his behalf?"
lpsmith says (to DG), "Yup."
eileen says, "Congratulations, Brent! If you're not hear --
ps, here -- we'll send you your trophy and t-shirt"
Brent's wife comes forward to accept the award.
devil says, "There's a trophy, too?!? Damn, I've got to
write more games."
Paul says, "He's out taking pictures somewhere in Florida.
No, really."
Ganvira hollers, "Uh, I think someone killed the lounge
area."
Ellison asks, "do I smell incense?"
eileen says, "Well, just a virtual trophy. The t-shirt will
be real."
ddyte says, "T-shirt *and* trophy? Geez now I'm really
cut up."
Dilbon says, "I have never seen a real T-shirt."
lpsmith says, "Hey, some wizzard teleport inky in here."
eileen exclaims, "Not a real trophy! Sorry to get anyone's
hopes up!"
Bruce smells incense.
Grocible says, "I have a bowling trophy that some dork
gave me as an office Christmas party present that I could
donate to the next awards"
Bruce buys some pot.
ddyte plays with Matt and Terry in the corner.
edharel gives band aid to Bruce.
NamelessAdventurer goes up to the podium again.
DGlasser says, "The scoreboard is screwed up."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Where are we? Best
individual puzzle? Oh, yeah."
mamster says (to Grocible), "I have a Boys Club soccer
trophy. So nyaa."
west_pillar asks, "Am I on? What?"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Here to introduce the award
for Best Individual Puzzle is a puzzle you all know and
love..."
liza asks (to Ganvira), "Is that better?"
west_pillar rocks back and forth.
edharel says, "I'll close my ears/eyes. Don't want to see
any spoilers..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (to west_pillar), "Not yet!"
Jalkio exclaims, "I vote all of Symetry for best individual
puzzle!"
Adam exclaims, "They'll R2-45 our asses!"
Dilbon says, "Where is the Worst Individual Puzzle
Award? I really should get it for the statue puzzle in
Leaves"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Here it is! The west pillar
from So Far!"
mamster says (to Adam), "Amnesia ray."
west_pillar exclaims, "Hiya!"
Stu042 exclaims, "yay pillar!"
west_pillar looks only slightly confused.
Ganvira says, "Oh, OK."
markm tips the pillar.
mamster asks, "Pilar?"
liza says, "Mmm... rice pilar."
mamster asks, "?Pilar, es tu?"
neild picks up the pillar, and dies.
edharel says, "I'll go check r.[a|g].if"
west_pillar exclaims, "It's great to see so many people
here today!"
Atomic says, "zarf "How does it feel to meet your
creation?""
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual Puzzle
nominees to west_pillar.
Gunther tries to assassinate Nameless, shouting "I AM
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE!"
west_pillar says, "And... um..."
Ellison asks (to pillar), "you're not going to preach the
faith on us, are you?"
Grocible asks, "so what's the next award?"
Bruce exclaims, "I want some snackycakes!"
west_pillar fumbles for the list of nominees
Jalkio eats a banana in honor of Rybread.
neild wonders where the hors d-oeuvres went.
west_pillar says, "I forgot my big list of catchy intro
lines."
mamster says (to Ellison), "I'm gonna preach the faith all
over your mom."
devil asks (to west_pillar), "Do pillars have hands?"
Bruce asks, "Where the hell are the Cheezy Poofs?"
Adam notes that the pillar isn't wearing the customary
lapel ribbon! Shame! Shame!
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yeah, I want some cheezy poofs!!"
Ender exclaims (to Bruce), "Yeah, I want Cheezy Poofs!"
Dilbon poofs.
mamster says (to Tiki), "That does sound pretty gooood."
west_pillar asks, "Hey, why is an Egyptian mummy like a
gospel singer?"
devil says (to Ender), "Poof! You're Cheezy."
Spatch says (to adam), "i gotcher Cause-Of-The-Moment
ribbons HANGING LOW, PAL."
Bruce asks, "How about some chocolate chicken pot pie?"
lpsmith pushes the west_pillar.
neild exclaims (to west_pillar), "They both slept with Bill
Clinton!"
west_pillar exclaims, "Because they're both bound for the
promised land!"
DGlasser exclaims, "su-weet!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "No, kitty, it's my chicken pot pie!!"
mamster says, "Eeagh! Elliott Abrams! "
Spatch says, "I thought it was cause they both hang out in
Memphis."
west_pillar rocks back and forth.
liza sets the pillar on fire.
Ender exclaims (to TikiBoy), "MOM!!!! Kitty's being a
dildo!"
Bruce exclaims, "Bad Kitty! MY POT PIE!"
Ganvira exclaims, "Oy!!"
NamelessAdventurer says (to west), "Cut to the chase, I
think..."
Spatch spray-paints "STINKY POOP ASS" on the pillar.
Bruce exclaims, "Well, I know a certain kitty kitty who's
sleeping with mommy tonight!"
edharel asks, "The question is: Who is Lewinsky and
Hillary?"
Ender asks, "What?"
west_pillar looks disappointed.
west_pillar says, "Ok, I'll cut to the chase."
Jemima listens attentively to West Pillar.
Bruce exclaims, "Ultra-vibe pleasure 2000!"
Jalkio counts 47 visitors at the moment.
Ellison listens to the crickets, chirping in the meadow
neild cheers!
Adam says, "You know, 'west pillar' anagrams to
'rapscallion'."
edharel asks, "Sell some? what, are we getting the ads
and flames of newsgroups on here?"
Bruce cries!
west_pillar exclaims, "The nominees for Best Individual
Puzzle!"
Ganvira tries to listen to West but is spam.
Bruce exclaims, "You go to hell, Kyle! You go to hell and
you die!"
Adam says (to liza), "Except for a brief period in 1989."
Grocible says, "liza: it's to your credit"
west_pillar exclaims, "Setting the digital clock in Heist!"
devil asks (to Bruce), "Would you like me to damn him
for you?"
mamster says (to neilb), "Three awards, I think."
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAH ADNREW!!!!"
ddyte says (to neilb), "Yeah, Bob won best NPC. Bad luck
for the cow :-("
Dilbon says, "I solved that by trial and error"
west_pillar says, "Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die"
Dilbon says, "the first time, I mean"
Bruce exclaims, "Bad luck for the Devil! No sympathy for
the Devil!"
west_pillar exclaims, "The language puzzle in The Edifice!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY SPATCH!!!!!!"
devil says, "Poor me."
Jalkio exclaims, "Yay, Andy,!"
Ender chants, "Phone Booth! Phone Booth!"
mamster exclaims (to Bruce), "No rest for the wicket!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!"
neild exclaims, "Yay unintelligible language!"
lpsmith grins.
liza says, "Whoop, I say. Whoop."
Spatch exclaims, "It's the best individual puzzle nominee
because it was the ONLY PUZZLE! RAR!"
west_pillar exclaims, "Defeating the Kunkel in Sins
Against Mimesis!"
Ender says, "Yay gfdesbig ziblmeys!""
neilb says, "I was disappointed that the Mad Bomber
wasn't nominated for best NPC."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BRUCE!!!!!"
Paul asks, "What about the langauge puzzles in Symetry?"
west_pillar says, "Building the sand castle in Sunset Over
Savannah!""
Kunkel says, "I'm offended by this award!"
Jalkio exclaims (to paul), "Quite!"
Bruce eats the Kunkel.
west_pillar apologizes for forgetting one ! mark
west_pillar rocks back and forth in excitement
west_pillar opens an envelope
DGlasser says (to neild), "Neil G is here."
DGlasser sits on the edge of his seat.
west_pillar stares at a tax form and puts it back in the
envelope
mamster exclaims, "THEY SOLD ME THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT
I ONLY NEEDED THE EDGE!"
west_pillar open a different envelope
Ender sits on the edge of his razor blade.
Bruce cheers proactively for lpsmith.
west_pillar says, "The winner is..."
mamster says (to neild), "Out gathering voom, of course."
SadieHawkins plays a riff from, "Incompetent Pie Boy."
neild votes for The Edge for most annoying Guitarist.
west_pillar says, "Da da da da! The language puzzle"
Adam exclaims (to lp), "Give your acceptance speech in
Strangerese!"
Spatch exclaims, "COMMA SPLICE!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY!!!!!"
Bruce cheers again.
Spatch exclaims, "YAY EDIFICE!!!"
JasonMel yeehaws.
jaysmith cheers!
lpsmith grins hugely.
ddyte draws a picture of someone cheering for the
language puzzle.
liza exclaims, "LPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPPLPLPP!"
Paul salutes Lucian
IF exclaims, "Congratulations!"
west_pillar falls over with excitement.
markm exclaims, "L!P! L!P! L!P!"
Bruce exclaims, "Ix-nay on-ay everroot-Fay!"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual Puzzle trophy
to lpsmith.
Ellison exclaims, "wtg!"
Ganvira shouts GoLP!!!!!
DGlasser says, "You know, any game that makes a
vegetarian want to kill a Beast is good."
mamster says (to lpsmith), "I made you this
marshmallow sculpture."
lpsmith alsens the trophy.
Spatch holds up a large sign with an L on it. Then he
holds up one that says P. Over and over.
DGlasser says, "Or not, good, but at least well done."
lpsmith steps up to the podium.
Bruce says, "My beast was kind of medium-rare."
Ellison asks (to Spatch), "wow, you were just prepared for
everybody, huh?"
RedoFromStart jumps on spot, fruitlessly
Theif_from_Dungeon takes the trophies from the
adventurer's sack.
mamster says (to neilb), "Watch me."
mamster emotes.
Bruce tears liza's eyes.
Ellison asks, "okay, who blew spice into liza's eyes?"
DGlasser sits back on the center of the seat.
lpsmith exclaims, "Uh, thanks everyone!"
neilb asks, "what ? was that it?"
neild exclaims (to lp), "More speech!"
mamster says (to Ellison), "The spice girls, of course."
liza cheers lpsmith wildly.
lpsmith exclaims, "Oh, and one more thing!"
DGlasser says (to neilb), ":emotes."
Bruce cheers! He loves Lucian!
Spatch exclaims, "The Beef-A-Roni must flow!"
Paul says, "He's just learning our language."
ddyte says, "So much for command of language."
Gunther wonders why Tempest didn't even show up in
this section...
Ellison says (to mamster), "hehe"
DGlasser says, "alanasen takramul."
lpsmith says, "As thanks for this lovely prize, I've given
you all a present."
DGlasser says, "ne rema fe"
devil says, "I haven't finished that puzzle yet."
lpsmith says, "You'll find it in incoming/if-archive."
Taj exclaims, "Rakasha a ben selme!"
lpsmith grins.
Ellison just noticed that both neilb and neild are here...
liza yells, "Dear lord, Lucian, PUT THAT AWAY!"
neilb says, "this would have been a lot cheaper on a
Saturday, you know..."
west_pillar shakes lpsmith's hand, somehow
lpsmith exclaims, "No more infinite loops!"
Paul whines "I want to know NOW!"
Ganvira asks, "infinite loops??"
eileen goes up to the podium
Jstn says, "yea, I think my Latin course just came"
Adam exclaims, "They're been replaced with froot loops!"
neilb says, "people tell me that all the time"
Adam says, "They've"
Jalkio exclaims, "The infinite loop should have been
nominated in the best use of medium!"
TikiBoy places Paul on the Golden egg checker thingie,
through which he falls.
lpsmith exclaims, "It's nothing spectacular, but I've
finally finished Release 2. So if you haven't played it yet,
you can play the fumigated version. Thanks!"
ddyte collects his present.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!"
Ellison says, "whee! where are the ooompaloompas"
Grocible feels he should take this moment to thank one of
the Bruces for crediting him as being the original poster
of the mimesis plant joke.
lpsmith steps down.
Grocible exclaims, "I'm immortalized!"
Spatch is immoralized!
Paul whips out a gobstopper, and starts to chew
TikiBoy is mortified.
mamster is paralyzed by your peril eyes!
liza says something immoral.
liza exclaims (to mamster), "HA!"
neilb tests the coommands. ignore him and his bad
spelling.
mamster says (to liza), "You're welcome."
eileen exclaims, "And now, presenting the award for Best
NPCs, we have last year's winner... Evan, from Kissing the
Buddha's Feet!!"
Spatch says, "There's no way of really knoowing which
direction we are gooing"
DGlasser asks (to neild), "What are the files by you in
incoming?"
markm says (to zarf), "Was that pillar costume stuffy? :-)"
DGlasser cheers for LEON and EVAN!!!!!
neild asks (to DGlasser), "New versions of FrenFive?"
Bruce stuffs the pillar costume.
DGlasser exclaims, "Everyone, get Small World Two. Much
better than one. It is great!"
Jalkio waves a depressing dirty rag that states "Rybread
Rules" in barely readable dirt-like ink.
Evan exclaims, "Hello, everyone!"
neild says, "ASK EVAN ABOUT AWARD."
mamster says (to Jalkio), "That rocks."
RedoFromStart is looking for his camera
leonlin says to Evan, "I created you!" to which Evan
responds, "No one user created me..."
ddyte says (to neilb), "Yeah. I got hosed."
Evan says, "NPCs are a very important part of IF."
neilb says, "this client is so naff"
devil exclaims (to Evan), "Hey, Evan!"
lpsmith runs a 'tron' on Evan, which shuts him down.
HairBrain moos
neild says (to ddyte), "Your day will come..."
Ellison exclaims, "haha!"
Evan exclaims, "If it weren't for NPCs, we'd all be
exhibiting signs of impending mental collapse with no one
else to talk with!"
Ganvira asks, "What's the file for wcsmall world?"
Evan says, "Anyway..."
Evan says, "The nominees for Best NPCs are..."
Evan exclaims, "Everybody Loves a Parade, by Cody
Sandifer!"
devil says, "The Small World files are for release 2, which
I'll announce in a little bit."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!!"
devil exclaims, "Parade rocks!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!"
Evan exclaims, "Interstate Zero, by Adam Cadre!"
neilb asks, "did IF and zarf leave together then?"
liza exclaims, "WOO!"
mamster exclaims, "Everybody Loves Everybody Loves a
Parade!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY Adam!"
Evan exclaims, "She's Got a Thing For a Spring, by Bren
vanFossen!"
markm claps!
Spatch exclaims, "Everybody Loves Raymond Who Loves
A Parade!"
neild cheers a bit more.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY cool nature photo guy!"
Evan says, "Oops, that's Brent vanFossen."
TikiBoy says (to neilb), "I think Zarf is too old for IF. ;-)"
zarf claps belatedly (was lagged)
Ellison exclaims, "Everybody's got a thing for She's Got A
Thing!"
neilb says, "I wish I could understand what's going on..."
DGlasser says (to evan), "Just do what I do, call him cool
nature photo guy."
Evan exclaims, "The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm and Drang by
Neil deMause!"
Ender says, "Bran Van Fossen is Drinking in L.A."
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo heroes and villains!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEILD!!!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YEEEHAW!"
neild exclaims, "YAY, ME!!!!!! WHO-HOO!!!!"
liza exclaims, "NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEILLLLLLL!"
Evan exclaims, "And Zero Sum Game by Cody Sandifer!"
devil claps frenetically for Fren5.
neild says, "Cody. Yeah."
ct exclaims, "FUNKY FIVE! Yay!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY AGAIN!!! WOO-HOOO!!!!
CODY RULES!!!!! YAY!!!!"
mamster exclaims, "They're all, like, good and stuff!"
DGlasser exclaims, "CODY! CODY! CODY!"
Spatch exclaims, "I can't make up my mind!"
Evan says, "And the winner is..."
ddyte says (to mamster), "Nah, they all suck."
DGlasser is a die-hard cody fan.
neild implodes.
Bruce makes up spatch's mind.
Evan exclaims, "The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm und Drang by
Neil deMause!"
Bruce cheers.
neild exclaims, "Gak!"
Bruce claps.
Evan applauds
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEILD!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!!"
Grocible exclaims, "woohoo!"
devil exclaims, "WHOOOOOOOO!"
lpsmith's left half explodes, but he's all right.
TikiBoy exclaims, "YAY NEIL!!!!!!!!"
edharel says, "BAh."
mamster says, "I voted fer that."
neild is baffled.
ct cheers wildly!! yay for the famous five!
Grocible exclaims, "rock on neild!"
Paul claps frenetically
Atomic congratulates Neil
markm NEIL! EIL! NEIL! NEIL!
Jalkio exclaims (to neild), "Congrats!"
Stu042 exclaims, "go neil!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!"
devil congratulates Neil.
Evan exclaims, "Congratulations, Neil!"
zarf exclaims, "Heil Neil!"
neild goes up to the podium.
TikiBoy shoots lpsmith's remaining half for that horrible
pun.
Adam exclaims, "So Leon Lin wins two years straight!"
eileen gives Best NPCs trophy to neild.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEIL!!!!!!!"
neilb says, "what a great name that chap's got."
Atomic waves at Neil
mamster exclaims, "Yay, Leon!"
neild says, "Really, you shouldn't be talking to me! You
should be talking to the welfare recipients..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Spoooooooooooooon!"
Ender says, "As people clap, small objects pop up all
over..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Not in the face! Not in the face!"
markm cheers wildly.
neild says, "I really didn't prepare for this. Just like for
releasing the game in the first place..."
Ganvira is going to do the infocom fantasy collection first.
neild says, "I guess I'd just like to thank the Frenetic Five,
for being such interesting characters. And for forcing me
to release this game despite my utter lack of coding
skills."
lpsmith recants.
devil asks, "Cody skills?"
markm cheers!
neild looks to the sky. "This one's for you, Pastiche!
neild gets down from the podium.
neilb asks, "if it's only five o'clock over in the US... why
aren't you all working?"
zarf applauds
neild gets down and gets funky.
lpsmith claps some more.
Jalkio gets lost in New York.
markm says (to neilb), "I'm *supposed* to be working..."
Dilbon says, "Work is a four letter word."
devil says, "I'm doing the devil's work."
Paul says, "Define 'working'. I'm at my job."
Grocible is at werk, but isn't werking. I'm using "lunch
break" as an excuse.
neild says, "Damn. Now I need to change my T-shirt..."
TikiBoy says, "This awards thing is actually making my
work very unproductive."
zarf says, "Offer me a job, and I'll work."
lpsmith exclaims, "I'm working, and so is my wife!"
Bruce does the devil's work.
Hordes of tiny donuts suddenly invade the auditorium,
freed from their jail! They run around screaming wildly
for a moment or two, then disappear as mysteriously as
they arrived.
ddyte says (to neild), "Now you can get rid of that t-
shirt."
mamster asks (to lpsmith), "What is that, anyway?"
edharel dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Okay. So without further
ado..."
liza says (to Spatch), "Hold me closer, tiny donut."
Atomic says, "I had to come to the computer labs in the
middle of the night to get here... :)"
mamster got XYZZY t-shirt.
lpsmith says (to mamster), "Life of Brian."
DGlasser says (to mamster), "Life of brian,"
mamster says (to lpsmith), "Ah."
Ganvira finished classes at 11:00.
Adam exclaims, "No! More ado! People are crying out for
ado!"
Grocible says, "I'm Brian of Nazareth..."
Atomic says, "Well, 9pm anyway... :)"
devil says, "I finished classes in 1994."
NamelessAdventurer says, "To present the award for Best
Puzzles..."
Spatch says (to liza), "count the head lice on the highway."
mamster dropped RNA polymerase.
mamster dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Someone else you all know
and love..."
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST! HEIST! HEIST!"
edharel asks, "Much ado about nothing?"
NamelessAdventurer says, "From the award-winning So
Far..."
Paul is puzzled. Lots.
Bruce got XYZZY t-shirt.
DGlasser exclaims, "It's Zarf!!!!!!!!"
ct says (to Atomic), "I was thinking edinburgh's not that
far off my latitude..."
Spatch exclaims, "THE SHADOWS!"
devil exclaims, "Zarf! Zarf! Zarf!"
liza exclaims, "THE BIG ANIMAL THING!"
mamster says, ">ENTER SHADOW"
edharel asks, "When did Babylon 5 come into it?"
DGlasser exclaims, "PUZZLES!!! PUZZLES!!"
Adam exclaims, "Rito! As played by Leonardo di Caprio!"
ragged_boy has arrived.
ct says (to mamster), "(You must be thinking of some
other game)"
DGlasser hates games without puzzles, but hates games
with puzzles that he can't solve.
Grocible exclaims, "ew! please! not dicaprio!"
ragged_boy looks around
ddyte asks (to boy), "Hey how'd you get out of there?"
TikiBoy asks (to Dglasser), "Picky, ain't ya?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Puzzles nominees to
ragged_boy.
mamster pours himself a crunchy bowl of DiCapri-O's.
Spatch throws breadfruit at the ragged boy!
Ellison orders a decaprichino.
neild bangs on pipes!
ragged_boy blinks in the bright light.
mamster hums that tune from Close Encounters.
Dilbon is puzzled.
lpsmith gives ragged_boy a pipe.
DGlasser says, "I want to hear happy news. About
Leonardo DiCaprio."
liza gives small pipe to neild.
ragged_boy smiles hesitantly at everyone.
neild goes back on the pipe.
Jemima gives a daisy chain to ragged boy.
mamster exclaims (to DGlasser), "hee hee!"
Jalkio exclaims (to ragged_boy), "Hello Rybread, it must
be you!"
Bruce bangs on Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ender says (to DGlasser), "He's dead. Be happy."
DGlasser hits the daisy chain key on his mac.
TikiBoy says (to DGlasser), "He came out of the closet.
Ha!! Yeah, right."
neild wonders how this is going to work.
ragged_boy holds up the list of Best Puzzles nominees
liza bangs Leonard DiCaprio. "Boo-yah!"
Spatch don't wanna work, he just wanna bang on de
drum all day.
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Babel
(Ian Finley)
DGlasser says, "(Actually, that wasn't me. That was a 10-
year-old Philadelphia girl.)"
edharel asks, "hmm, how do you do an action?"
mamster says (to edharel), ":cries."
Dilbon actions.
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says:
Everybody Loves a Parade (Cody Sandifer)
neilb asks, "c'mon, tell us... what is a zarf?"
liza says (to mamster), "You misspelled ':cries!'. Hope that
helps."
lpsmith cheers some more.
Atomic cheers wildly for Babel (which he gave a 10)
mamster says (to liza), "Oops."
neild exclaims, "Yay Cody!!!!"
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Heist
(Andy Phillips)
mamster exclaims, "Codex Leicester!"
neild asks (to Evan), "You want to change back to Leon
now?"
Spatch says, "This is a first! The presenter is GIVING the
cue cards to the AUDIENCE."
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST! BRAVO!"
devil exclaims, "Heist! Heist! Heist!"
Adam exclaims, "YAY, HEIST, AND, ANDY!"
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: The
Edifice (Lucian Smith)
liza says, "WOOOOOOO."
Atomic decides he should play Everybody loves a
parade...
Taj throws spear!
Ender says (to ragged_boy), "I'm not reading that. No, not
that either."
neild exclaims, "Yay LP!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Edificio DiCaprio!"
edharel Hmm, are the Shadows related to the grues?
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Zero
Sum Game (Cody Sandifer)
ct exclaims, "Eddy! Eddy! Ed! Ed! Ed!"
Gunther asks, "Ah my love. Can you forgive me?"
neild asks, "Leonardo Orgasmo? What?"
lpsmith realizes he's cheering his own game, but what the
heck. He goes back to cheering Zero.
neild exclaims, "Yay Cody yet again!"
ragged_boy opens an envelope
Spatch says, "Edificssorshands."
Atomic dies of suspense
> PUSH EDIFICE
ragged_boy smiles secretively
Edifice wrecks!
Ellison kills the silent boy...
liza wonders when the edifice and the west pillar are
going to get it on.
The Edifice does not yield to your efforts.
Atomic regenerates himself with a puff of smoke... :)
Ender exclaims (to liza), "We'll have none of that!"
edharel says, "I think I liked the newsgroups better... not
so crowded and noisy :)"
Adam turns ragged_boy in to Child Protective Services.
ragged_boy pulls out a brush and draws a small picture
of an edifice.
markm cheers wildly!
Grocible asks, "liza: you *sure* you've never been a
teenage boy before?"
Bruce cheers wildly!
Spatch exclaims, "YAAAAAY!"
neild exclaims, "Yay!"
Taj whoops wildly!
leonlin cheers!
jaysmith cheers!
ct says, "Eddy Eddy Eddy Ed Ed Ed"
mamster exclaims, "EDIFICE!"
Atomic says, "Congrats!""
liza exclaims, "YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY!"
Ellison exclaims, "yeah, Cody won!!!"
Stu042 stomps his feet and cheers!
ct exclaims, "Yay!"
Paul gives Lucian a thumbs up. No, make that two
thumbs up!
mamster exclaims, "More speech!"
ragged_boy gives the picture to lpsmith
devil claps!
Jalkio claps muttering something about Heist.
lpsmith grins.
Bruce gives Lucian Three Thumbs Up.
Grocible claps vigorously and with approval
markm exclaims, "L!P!L!P!L!P!L!P!"
Zarf passes the mantle of Xyzzy king to LP.
Ellison asks, "the edifice is just an abstract representation
of the tree sloth, right?"
liza throws an edifice at Jalkio.
Taj throws spear at Jalkio!
Atomic wishes he could write a game like The Edifice... :(
leonlin gives Lucian two opposable thumbs up!
TikiBoy says (to mamster), "The graveyard is out there,
and the aliens are up there, but I'll be safe in there."
mamster giggles.
markm gives LP all his thumbs.
edharel wishes he had the time to finishhh a game :/
lpsmith takes the podium.
RedoFromStart looks at his watch: 22:59... the ceremony
will begin soon.
Jalkio says (to liza), "But Edifice already won the
individual category... There were many cool puzzles in
heist."
mamster says (to Jalkio), "Not to mention Punkirita."
lpsmith takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.
DGlasser asks, "Who won puzzles?"
lpsmith unfolds it.
Paul considers whether he should start charging for
straight lines.
edharel says, "mef, this is it."
lpsmith says, "Uh, this isn't an acceptance speech, so don't
worry."
mamster wins a zloty, finds the perfect liver, and settles
for that.
Bruce worries.
liza exclaims (to lpsmith), "Your speech is unacceptable!"
liza says, "Crap."
lpsmith says, "It is, however, a rough draft of an article
I'm attempting to write for XYZZYnews."
Bruce exclaims, "Takramul!"
Bruce asks, "Grignr?"
Adam exclaims (to Bruce), "Topramen!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LUCIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "PL!PL!PL!PL!PL!PL!"
Ender exclaims (to Bruce), "Grignr the Ecordian!"
Ender plays the Ecordian.
lpsmith grins.
Bruce squeezes the Ecordian.
eileen approaches the podium
DGlasser says, "But then again, edifice was great."
lpsmith steps down.
Taj injects Atomic with coffee.
liza asks, "Umberto Ecordian?"
neild says (to Dilbon), "This is so over."
Atomic jumps up, wide-eyed and buzzing gently
Ender says (to liza), "Careful, you might inspire Graham."
Spatch exclaims, "let's go out to the lobby, let's go out to
the lobby, let's go out to the lobby, and have ourselves a
snack!"
neild says (to Dilbon), "This is so five minutes ago."
neilb says, "tikiboy, I don't know how to whisper, but
probably. I am he."
liza says, "Okay, next award - Best Legs."
Dilbon says, "Happy endings make me cry."
Atomic thanks Taj
eileen exclaims, "Here to present the award for Best
Setting is least, oops, last year's winner... the devil from
Small World!"
mamster exclaims (to liza), "I nominate Abe Vigoda!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY ANDREW!!!!!"
Taj exclaims, "Mercy! Mercy!"
Spatch exclaims (to mamster), "my vote's for walter
matthau!"
devil takes nominees list.
DGlasser exclaims, "SETTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIINNNGG!"
Taj says, "The game, not the request."
mamster says (to Spatch), "The gams on that feller are
breathtaking."
neild exclaims, "Yeahhhhhhhhh, Beelzebub!"
inky stomps feet.
Paul applauds
devil tries to get everyone to sign it...whoops, wrong
game.
ct exclaims, "Devil! Make us proud!"
Ellison says, "I nominate the table setting from 'space'"
inky says, "sa-tan sa-tan sa-tan"
Spatch asks, "Beelzebub, do you have a devil put aside for
me?"
devil says (to Spatch), "A minor one."
ddyte asks (to Devil), "Just gimme this one. You can take
my soul, ok?"
liza says (to mamster), "Ooh, varicose veins. He'll lose
points for that."
inky asks (to devil), "Do you ever dance with yourself in
the pale moonlight?"
devil says, "The nominees..."
Bruce hopes everyone remembers the Scrapple Factory.
DorianX has arrived.
mamster says (to liza), "The closer the better, I say."
DGlasser is the devil. in Damn Yankees, at least.
Ender says (to devil), "Time... is on my side. Yes it is..."
devil says, "...for best setting in an IF game..."
ddyte says (to Bruce), "You are the man :-)"
edharel asks, "devil, you're not wearing a blue dress, are
you?"
Sargent says, "Bleah. I remember the factory."
devil says, "...are..."
neild has sympathy for the presenter.
Grocible says, "mmmm scrapple"
inky asks (to Bruce), "that's like "Remember the Alamo",
right?"
liza exclaims (to neild), "Hee!"
Bruce chews on a head-sized chunk of Scrapple.
Sargent asks (to Bruce), "54-40 or Scrapple?"
mamster chews on head cheese.
devil says, "...A Bear's Night Out (David Dyte)..."
DGlasser says, "and just a high school production."
SadieHawkins plays a quick medley of Stryper.
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay!"
Ghogg exclaims, "Bear! Bear! Bear!"
mamster exclaims, "DAVEEED!"
Dilbon exclaims, "Beer! Beer!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BEAAAAAR! YAY DAVID!!!!!!!!"
Ender chews on the head from Grip.
devil says, "...Interstate Zero (Adam Cadre)..."
The San Burro Chamber of Commerce cheers!
edharel asks, "Someone brought beer?"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay!"
Atomic remembers the bears home fondly
DGlasser exclaims, "AAAAAAAADAM!!!!!!"
devil says, "...Mercy (Chris Klimas)..."
mamster says, "TRACEEE."
mamster says, "MERCEEE."
neild exclaims, "Yay David and Adam! And Chris!"
Ellison exclaims, "if David wins, there's a huge bash at his
house after the ceremony!"
Dilbon asks, "So do we get beer after this?"
ddyte says, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Cough,
splutter, die."
devil says, "...She's Got a Thing For a Spring (Brent
vanFossen)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "MERCY! MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!"
edharel says, "Oh mercy"
leonlin applauds!
lpsmith hopes people don't think he's trying to turn the
awards into a personal grandstand, and realize that he's
just trying to give back to the IF community. But he'll
shut up now, and cheer.
markm claps.
Adam exclaims, "Whee! Non-comp games r001!"
neild bashes David's house.
lpsmith cheers wildly!
Sargent says, "applauds."
ddyte says, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Swim."
devil says, "...Sins Against Mimesis (Adam Thornton)..."
Sargent says, "applauds."
leonlin applauds!
Paul cheers
Spatch exclaims, "SCRAPPLE! SCRAPPLE!"
markm claps.
lpsmith cheers!
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Go Stiffy
Makane!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BRUCE!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "TIMING! TIMING!"
Dilbon says, "cheer"
DorianX says, "tide"
neilb sings a little ditty
mamster exclaims, "All-temperature Cheer!"
Ghogg eats the potted plant.
lpsmith exclaims, "Wheeee!"
ddyte says, "Stiffy Makane meets Tracy Valencia..."
devil says, "...And the winner is..."
ct exclaims, "Compass Rose floor for Best Setting!!"
Dilbon plants the pot plant in the plant pot.
edharel asks, "are we giving awards or doing laundry?"
Ellison *BUFO*s in excitement
devil asks, "Is everybody listening?!?"
Black says, and after that whole long relationship of you
and me we won't know who it is in terms of gender.
Bruce exclaims (to Ellison), "Don't Bufo ME!"
Atomic says, "helpo commands"
Grocible asks, "someone dissing hamsters?"
Grocible says, "harrumph"
devil exclaims, "A Bear's Night Out (David Dyte)!!!!!!!!"
edharel exclaims, "no, not the psychologist!"
Dilbon says, "Helpo does sound like a Marx brother."
Sargent says, "applauds loudly."
lpsmith cheers!
Ender exclaims, "Die Gottercocktailpartie!"
markm cheers wildly!
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY DAVID!!!!!!!!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Deeeedyte!"
neild exclaims, "Who-hoo!!!!!!!!"
Ellison exclaims, "she'll have me talking about my mother
in no time!"
ct exclaims, "Davy!!!"
jaysmith cheers for Ddyte!
Sargent says (to Grocible), "No, dissing mamsters."
Ghogg says, "WOOwooWOOwooWOOwooo"
leonlin cheers!
unicorn applauds loudly!
Bruce cheers!
Adam exclaims, "Yay, suburbia!"
Paul asks, "Why do you feel Eeeagh?"
Stu042 exclaims, "yay mooses!"
lpsmith exclaims,
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
liza asks (to neild), "Why is it that you say 'Eeeagh!
Eliza!'?"
neild exclaims, "YAY DAVID'S HOUSE!!!!!!!"
mamster says (to Sargent), "Pinhead."
neilb says, "says sorry... that should be mamsters..."
ct exclaims, "Love that funky teddy-bear!"
Sargent exclaims, "Let's hear it for the bear!"
edharel asks, "Does it bother you that Helpo sounds like a
Marx Brother?"
markm exclaims, "GO DD!"
Atomic says, "congratulations!""
ddyte goes to the podium in shock.
devil cheers for the darn bear!
Paul claps for David
jaysmith exclaims, "Ddyte! Ddyte! Ddyte! Ddyte! Ddyte!"
DGlasser says, "Makes a similar comment that neilb
earlier made, about names."
Ellison exclaims (to ddyte), "clean your pipes now ya
lousy bastard!"
Dilbon asks, "So where's the beer?"
Grocible says, "MamsterWorld"
Bruce exclaims, "D-DYTE! D-DYTE!"
edharel says, "Let us talk more about that funky teddy-
bear"
Sargent pushes ddyte towards the stage.
Torbjorn says (to ddyte), "Now, hand over that soul you
promised the nice Mr Devil."
Atomic turns himself into an IF-mud expert...
ddyte says, "Um, well, I'd just like to say what a sad day
it is that a suburban house can win best setting."
devil gives Best Setting trophy to ddyte.
Sargent exclaims, "We love you, suburban house!"
neild exclaims, "YAY REALISM!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY HE OF THE IFHOS!"
Elroy T. Funbun, CEO of Taco Junta, cries!
neilb asks, "what did I say about names?"
Paul exclaims, "But it was such a NICE house!"
neild says, "Good tea. Nice house."
liza says, "
http://www.retina.net/~ddyte, btw."
ddyte hands Dilbon a beer... "That's Foster's... Australian
for piss that we sell to the Americans..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay! Setting things in your own
house!"
DGlasser says (to neilb), "About how the winner had a
nice one."
mamster screams (at ddyte), "VING RHAMES DESERVED
THAT AWARD, YOU BASTARD!"
ct says, "But Own House settings did so well in Comp97..."
devil leads ddyte to the podium and then chains him
there.
ddyte says, "And I'd like to thank my real estate agent
for letting me the house so I could write the game.
Thanks all."
ddyte says, "Ok, now I'm off to buy a plaque for the
door."
devil releases the chains. "Unfortunately, he's not for me."
Spatch exclaims, "SEE? A "house" setting CAN be good IF!"
ct says, "Ah, ddyte has sold soul to real estate agent
already."
devil buys everyone's souls.
lpsmith bids for ddyte's soul.
Ender asks (to devil), "Can I buy a vowel?"
markm sold his previously.
Paul says, "I have no soul. I'm a critic."
Ender exclaims, "Grignr!"
devil says, "devil sells them back for outrageously
inflated prices."
DGlasser buys his soul back for 10% interest.
ddyte says, "I bet it ends up being traded for Alf pogs..."
eileen approaches the podium
devil gives Sargent his soul for free.
TikiBoy exclaims (to ddyte), "Awww, I miss Alf!!"
ct mortgaged his soul ages ago. monopoly debts 'n' all
that.
DGlasser exclaims, "WRITE A NEW GAME!!!!!"
Jalkio asks (to ddyte), "Plaque with the text: "Here lives
the creator of the winning game in "The best setting"
category in the annual XYZZY awards 1998"?"
Ellison exclaims (to ddyte), "in your house again!"
eileen exclaims, "And now to present the award for Best
Story, I give you once more... the Nameless Adventurer!!!"
ddyte says (to Jalkio), "No, better. 3/16 Golflink Avenue.
Winner, Best Setting in an IF Game, 1997."
Sargent says (to devil), "no."
Dilbon asks, "Is this the 1998 award ceremony or the
1997 award ceremony?"
DGlasser boos the nameless guy.
devil says (to eileen), "Oops. Can I make an
announcement first? I forgot something."
markm says (to ddyte), "Now you have to update your
game again. :-)"
NamelessAdventurer asks (to devil), "What now?"
Spatch heckles rather poorly. "Hey, Nameless Adventurer!
... get a name, you nameless freak!"
eileen says, ""OK, go for it, devil."
ddyte says (to markm), "No."
edharel asks, "devil, been playing Amnesia?"
Adam exclaims (to Spatch), "Hee hee!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (to Spatch), "Can I have
one of yours? You got too many!"
the Nike commercial plays on the tv... "The XYZZY awards
this year won't be televised..." (fade out)
DGlasser exclaims, "LISTEN TO THE DEVIL's
ANNOUNCEMENT!"
Jalkio shouts: "Symetry for Best Story!".
DGlasser exclaims, "IT IS REALLY COOL!"
devil says, "Just to let you all know:"
Spatch says (to namelessadventurer), "I hereby dub thee
Sir Shabadoo of Bad Breakdance Movies."
edharel says, "The devil, stealing. What low morals."
ct exclaims (to Jalkio), "Cask rox!"
devil exclaims, "Small World Version 2 is now out!!!!!!!"
DGlasser betatested it, and it is great.
inky exclaims, "Now, smaller than ever before!"
mamster exclaims (to Spatch), "Beat Street rules!"
neild cheers the shameless plug.
Bruce exclaims, "Mimesis Version Three is Available!
Hide Your Children!"
ct adds SW2 to the end of his 'must-play-sometime' list.
NamelessAdventurer says, "So the nominees for--"
DGlasser puts it on the beginning of ct's list.
NamelessAdventurer peers at the cue card.
NamelessAdventurer says, "...for Best Story are:"
DGlasser says, "And Babel 2 too. Play that one also."
Jalkio peers at his grue card.
Spatch says, "aah. simpsons refs. better than south park
refs."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Babel, by Ian Finley!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BABEL!!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!!!"
DorianX cheers
Atomic cheers for Babel!
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Glowgrass, Nate Cull,
executive producer!"
markm applauds.
Grocible babbles
DGlasser hasn't played Babel v1 though.
edharel applauds, even though he hasn't played more
then a little bit of babel
Spatch exclaims, "that's the spirit!"
lpsmith babels about Glowgrass.
Atomic thinks that Babel is the best IF game he's played
ddyte exclaims, "Yay SF games!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NATE!!!! NATE!!!!!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "I-0, written and directed
by Adam Cadre!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Glowgrass ruled!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY ADAM!!!!!!"
edharel applauds, and he has played I-0
ddyte exclaims, "Nekkid IF! Yeah! Awright!"
Grocible exclaims, "zarf!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Madame L'Estrange and
the Troubled Spirit, by Ian Ball and Marcus Young!"
Spatch says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About
Glowgrass Over Savannah's Night Out."
markm cheers.
Den enthuses about Glowgrass, but can't pronounce it
properly...
ddyte exclaims, "Australian IF!!!!!!!!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "...and Mercy, a Chris
Klimas production!"
DGlasser makes a mental note to remind Nate to write
Hero 2.
mamster says (to Den), "I think it's GLAU-GROSS."
Sargent says, "MER-cy. MER-cy."
ddyte exclaims, "Sick twisted IF! Yeah!"
edharel applauds, even though he never even
downloaded Mme L'etc.
DorianX says, "Foster's.... Australian for Beer,"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Babel, by Ian Finley!"
Ender says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About
Glowgrass Over Savannah's Night Out and the Troubled
Spirit"
Sargent exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
mamster exclaims, "Babool!"
ddyte exclaims, "Yay!"
Bruce whoo-hoos.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY MERCY!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!"
Ghogg exclaims, "Whee!"
neild exclaims, "Babelfish!"
Grocible claps
DorianX cheers, applauds, claps, etc
Atomic applauds
ct asks (to DorianX), "Fosters, beer?"
Spatch says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About
Glowgrass Over Savannah's"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!!!"
Atomic goes wild
Paul cheers wildly!
Adam exclaims, "'Babe' won? Yay, talking pig!"
mamster says (to Den), "Wow, you are so right."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!!!"
Taj exclaims, "Yay flashbacks!"
Spatch says, "Night Out and the Troubled Spirit versus the
Frenetic Five"
DorianX says (to ct), "Commercial"
ddyte says, "Babel, it's Australian for Best Story."
DGlasser exclaims, "Babel! Babel! Babel!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Ian Finley couldn't be here
tonight,..."
inky says, "my money's on pastiche."
Ellison /nukes all the ops and takes over the channel...
Grocible says, "Ian Finley, a man whose initials spell IF"
DGlasser says, "though he was"
Dilbon asks, "What does a babel fish taste like?"
edharel He, it's only day here
DGlasser says, "Come play the newest version of that one
too."
Atomic says, "You're not supposed to eat babel fish - you
put them in your ear..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "...so we'll be giving this
trophy instead to Kilivor, for being lost!"
edharel asks, "Kil, let me guess... in NY?"
markm says, "bye ghogg."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Okay, I'm done."
DorianX says (to ct), "ABNO"
Dilbon says (to atomic), "Then it must taste like earwax."
Jalkio says, "Somebody update the green scoreboard."
liza exclaims (to Kilivor), "Yay!"
neild examines the tote board.
lpsmith realizes he's been standing for an hour, and sits
down.
Grocible asks, "mamster: that'd be I-0, no?"
eileen approaches the podium again.
Spatch exclaims, "STIFFY MAKANE!"
eileen clears her throat.
neild clears the room.
DorianX applauds
Jalkio says, "Best surrealist game."
edharel I think the best use of medium of all would be
Infocom's Nord & Burt
ddyte says, "Best implementation of the verb WAYLAY."
Ellison asks (to Jalkio), "hmmm, would that be Symetry?"
Spatch says, "Best Abuse Of The Z-Machine"
edharel says, "Or am I confusing it with Ernie and Bert"
Grocible thanks eileen for working so hard on these
awards
Stu042 says, "best use of pointless logic puzzles"
Bruce asks, "Hey, is that it?"
mamster says (to Spatch), "That would be PUTPBAD."
Jalkio says (to ellison), "Surely."
Kilivor sits down
Sargent says, "Best game named 'Glowgrass.'"
Spatch exclaims (to mamster), "kickass!"
ddyte says (to Stu), "You win."
Stu042 exclaims, "yaaay!"
Ender exclaims (to Spatch), "Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!"
Grocible says, "longest gestation period? right now a two-
way race twixt Avalon and my game in progress, I
suspect"
DGlasser says, "Best VR game."
Spatch says, "Best game, which has puzzles, and some
great descriptions, which are good too."
eileen exclaims, "And now, presenting the award for Best
Writing, we have a rep from last year's winning game...
Tato from So Far!!!"
Ellison rambles on about how IF lacks something it had in
the previous era... "Where are our wine cellar mazes like
in Deadline?..."
Tato bows grandly
Sargent asks, "Does he speak in iambic pentameter?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing nominees to
Tato.
lpsmith asks (to Jemima), "You've tried this?"
Paul says, "Tato Jackson! The lesser-known brother."
mamster exclaims, "PICKUPDAWNMCGATNEY!!!!"
ct asks (to Tato), "Who are you??"
Tato says, "Attend you all! For on this paper scroll,"
Jalkio says, "There should be a category for best 'novel' or
major length game."
Tato says, "I find the names of every nominee."
Grocible exclaims, "oooh! a prepared speech!"
Tato says, "I'll list them first, and then we shortly see,"
edharel asks, "Tato is that the scroll from Witness?"
Tato exclaims, "Of all, which one will rock and which will
roll!"
mamster asks (to Jalkio), "Best Abuse of Contest Rules?"
Lone Ranger greets Tato. No, wait, Tonto.
Ellison says, "ah, yes, the Tato Junta boy..."
Spatch exclaims, "hoohoo! iambic pentameter!"
Den says 'Glowgrass' ten times quickly, then grins self-
impressed.
Bruce picks up Dawn McGatney!
ct exclaims, "He sounds like he was in Tempest!"
Bruce dies.
DorianX asks, "That was a boy?"
Spatch says, "DAwn McGatney."
neild exclaims, "Mr. Tato Head!"
edharel asks, "What about an award of efficiency? Best
game in X rooms or X many bytes?"
Tato says, "Ok, enough with the poetry -- I'm just an
actor, you know."
Jemima says (to lpsmith), "yes. :)"
Sargent says (to neild), "I wondered why he had three
eyes."
Jalkio says (to mamster), "Well, those plus Heist, for
example,"
Grocible says, "the Thespian's Confession"
Den says, "I always preferred dactylic hexameter
anyway."
Spatch says (to den), "you would."
Tato says, "Whaddawe got here..."
edharel asks, "Paul, have you been messing about with
the phone booth?"
Paul prefers pterodactylic hexameter.
mamster says (to Den), "I like spondaic duodecameter."
Spatch says (to paul), "you would."
Tato exclaims, "The nominees for Best Writing!"
liza runs away with 'Best Sequel/Parody/In-joke Game
Not Available on GMD.
Den says, "you would."
Tato mugs for applause
Gunther says, "I like spontaneous explosion"
Jalkio exclaims, "Heist! Symetry!"
devil mugs Tato.
Spatch says (to liza), "you would."
ct gives applause to tato. Right in the eye.
Tato exclaims, "Babel (Ian Finley)!"
DorianX cheers
Tato exclaims, "Interstate Zero (Adam Cadre)!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BABEL!!!!!!!!!!"
ddyte exclaims, "Wooo Babel!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YAY ALL THESE GAMES!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!"
devil claps for Babel again.
Tato says, "Sunset Over Savannah (Ivan Cockrum)!""
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!"
neild exclaims, "Yay! Adam!!!!!!"
Dilbon exclaims, "Babel Fish! Babel fish!"
Sargent says, "applauds."
Tato exclaims, "She's Got a Thing For a Spring (Brent
vanFossen)!"
Jalkio exclaims, "Hurrah Savannah!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IVAN!!!!!!!!!"
Sargent says, "applauds."
Bruce feeds back.
edharel exclaims, "Babelonian, Babeloinian!"
Ender claps.
ct exclaims, "Springy!!"
Gunther exclaims, "Yay Brent!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY cool nature photo guy!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "Comp97!"
Spatch exclaims, "Comp97!"
Dilbon says, "Babelon 5"
ct says, "love that egg puzzle..."
Spatch starts a last-minute write-in campaign for Com97
out of sheer randomness.
Tato says, "And The Space Under The Window by ..."
Tato tries to read the writing
Ender claps.
ddyte says, "Some guy."
Sargent says (to Tato), "Show-off."
Tato exclaims, "Some guy!"
Paul says, "cheers"
Jemima yells out loudly" The Space Under The Window!
Go, zarf!!! :)
mamster says, "The nominees for best game that ends
with a carnal encounter with the author are:"
edharel says, "One of those andrews""
Sargent says, "applauds."
ddyte says (to mamster), "Well, my game ended in the
same bed..."
Sargent whispers loudly to Grocible, "I bet he rigged it."
Bruce says, "Yeah. The window breaks."
mamster says (to Gunther), "I did. At the end, the
window breaks."
inky asks (to mamster), "for that to be 'best', you have to
have a cute author, don't you?"
Tato drags out the delay with perfect timing
Den asks, "Finished?"
ct says, "Space, space space"
Torbjorn asks (to Gunther), "You mean there was an
ending?"
mamster says (to ddyte), "That's not the same thing."
The window did it.
Atomic exclaims, "I finished it with five more points than
the maximum total!"
Ender exclaims (to mamster), "HEY! Spoiler warnings!"
Den asks, "Did anyone get the one lousy point?"
Tato says, "And the win..."
lpsmith gets back and cheers, belatedly.
Tato says, "ner..."
Ender says (to mamster), "So was that."
Tato says, "is..."
Gunther says, "Well, the *optimum* ending... if there is
one... :-)"
neild exclaims, "Best Winer! CASK!"
mamster says (to Ender), "Good."
mamster exclaims (to neild), "CASK is the winer!"
liza puts her feet up on the chair, kicking mamster in the
back of the head.
ddyte rofls.
edharel groans LOUDLY
Spatch says, "Somebody wind Tato back up!@"
Sargent exclaims, "Yes! It works flip-flip!"
Bruce exclaims, "Flip THIS!"
Adam laughs.
Tato exclaims, "Sunset Over Savannah!"
markm cheers wildly!
Ender exclaims (to spatch), "flip-FLOP, dummy!"
liza flips mamster off.
Sargent says, "applauds loudly."
neild exclaims, "Yay!!!!!"
Ellison cheers
inky exclaims, "yay!"
unicorn applauds
Paul cheers for Sunset!
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yay Ivan!!!!"
Jalkio says (to mamster), "No, symtry winns in agony in
you pain."
Jemima cheers loudly!
Spatch exclaims (to ender), "Quit flappin yer lip!"
devil says, "At least he doesn't have to give the award to
himself."
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!! Yay! Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!"
Tato claps.
Stu042 exclaims, "sunset! yay!"
lpsmith cheers!
mamster exclaims, "Ivanovich!"
Stu042 exclaims, "go ivan! go ivan!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yaaaaaaaaay!"
lpsmith says (to mamster), "No, that's his kid."
ct didn't see sunset, it all went dark too quickly. But he
cheers along anyway.
Sargent says, "I am therefore entitled to 1.2% of the
trophy."
Ivan asks, "Um...did I win?"
Sargent nudges Ivan.
inky exclaims, "go ivan!"
devil asks (to Sargent), "Where was your major hand?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing trophy to Ivan.
markm exclaims, "I-VAN I-VAN I-VAN!"
Tato gestures Ivan up to the podium.
Sargent says (to devil), "Shh. This is a family awards
show."
Den says, "Yay Ivan!""
devil exclaims (to Ivan), "Congratulations, you x-New
Yorker you!"
neild says, "I-VAN COCK-RUM! (CLAP CLAP
CLAPCLAPCLAP)"
Dilbon says, "'e won"
liza blushes.
The crowd picks up the chant.
Den shoots a rogue double-quote.
neild hands Ivan a bagel.
Grocible says, "I would like to point out that I didn't beta
test Sunset, owing to extreme sloth."
markm exclaims, "speech!"
markm says, "mmmm... bagel"
Ivan exclaims, "Whoo hoo!"
Sargent throws himself at the stage.
Ender says, "mmmm.... Rum....."
Sargent exclaims, "We love you, Ivan Cockrum!"
Den holds up a microphone.
Jemima :throws Sargent at the stage.
Kilivor is shouting for joy
Dilbon hands liza a pot.
Grocible says, "dagnabbit"
Ivan says, "Gosh! Willikers! Zowie! I'm speech-less."
Ender asks (to dilbon), "Is it a plant pot?"
Ellison asks, "Australia's only in the movies, right?"
lpsmith gives speech to Ivan.
Sargent points out the goofiness of Ivan's statement.
Den throws some speechmarks at Ivan.
Tato 'accidentally' upstages Ivan
liza got RNA polymerase.
devil says, "Ivan Cockrum. Author with the coolest name."
liza gives RNA polymerase to mamster.
eileen approaches the podium
Ellison says, "that's why my two favorite bands are
fictional- GWAR and Midnight Oil..."
TikiBoy says (to Ellison), "That's right, it doesn't exist
outside of Hollywook."
Tato goes backstage.
eileen says, "And now, presenting today's final award..."
Jalkio exclaims, "Somebody update the scoreboard!"
Bruce cheers!
lpsmith sings "You say Ian, and I say Ivan,..."
HairBrain asks, "Hey Den! You didn't leave anyway?"
ddyte says, "You say chewbacca and I say choobahka..."
Gunther exclaims, "COCK-RUM? How disgusting!"
Spatch exclaims (to jalkio), "IT IS UPDATED! YES WE
HAVE A VIDEO!"
eileen exclaims, "We have a rep from last year's winning
game... Aessa from So Far!!!"
Taj exclaims (to Ender), "Cardinal Biggles!"
Den says, "changed my mind - or something."
Grocible asks, "Aessa, eh?"
eileen says, "This is the award for Best Game of 1997"
Spatch says, "place yer bets now"
Paul asks, "What about the greek chorus from So Far?"
Grocible asks, "can we ask Aessa why she stood the
author up?"
Ganvira says, "Oh, yeah, Aesa.""
Ellison bets on Daddy's Smelly Helper
Bruce exclaims, "SYMETRY!"
Bruce exclaims, "STIFFY MAKANE!"
Paul catches a flash of auburn, and puts it in his pocket.
Sargent says, "> MAYBE"
Spatch says, "This has ceased to be Interactive Fiction and
gone straight on to Hyperactive."
inky asks, "auburn flasher?"
Den sticks a close-parenthesis at the end of his last
statement
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST!"
neild waits impatiently for Aessa.
Gunther exclaims, "BABEL! BABEL!"
liza exclaims, "DRAGON TOWN!"
Sargent catches Aessa and Tracy in a passionate embrace.
Ender says (to neild), "You'll never actually see her, you
know..."
markm wants to whistle at Aessa...
lpsmith exclaims (to liza), "Yes!"
Paul starts cheering, and won't stop til the nominees are
announced.
Stu042 cheers wildly!
Stu042 exclaims, "go swivel chair!"
Dilbon says, "chair-pak"
markm says, "Aessa's last name is Godot."
lpsmith exclaims, "Chair-pak!"
Bruce exclaims, "Stiffy Makane Meets The Chair-Pak
2000!"
Grocible says, "chair-pak. hehe"
Ender is Looking for Godot.
inky says (to zarf), "although I bet "sexfar.z8" would be a
popular download."
Sargent exclaims, "Dammit, I've said this before: we're
waiting for LEFTY!"
Gunther has used a time machine, and already knows the
winners, but he won't tell
Dilbon says, "No Sex So Far"
liza clears her throat. Loudly.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is that stupid Aessa here
yet?"
Spatch says, "Aessa downloaded a virus off the web."
mef says, "Ahem."
Ganvira exclaims, "Aesa! Aesa!! Aesa!! Aesa!!"
Den asks, "Best use of an obscenity in a title?"
Atomic says, "Whenever you're ready..."
liza shakes her head. "Aessa."
Adam shakes his head. "Aessa."
Sargent says, "Man, that's worse than you both wearing
the same dress."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Game nominees to zarf.
zarf goes to to the podium
zarf says, "Well, there's not much chance of me winning
this year, but I'll read the nominees anyhow."
zarf exclaims, "For best game!"
zarf exclaims, "We have!"
zarf says, "(netlag, damn.)"
zarf exclaims, "A Bear's Night Out (David Dyte)!"
Grocible has noticed a modicum of frustration all
afternoon
Ender chants: "HECK NO TECHNO! HECK NO TECHNO!
zarf exclaims, "Babel (Ian Finley)!"
neild exclaims, "YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!"
zarf exclaims, "Glowgrass (Nate Cull)!"
devil exclaims, "David Dyte is God!"
markm exclaims, "Yay!"
Den says, "(Don't tell _me_ about netlag. Sheesh.)"
zarf exclaims, "Interstate Zero (Adam Cadre)!"
Atomic bows down before all the nominees
zarf exclaims, "The Edifice (Lucian Smith)!"
Sargent exclaims, "TRACY!"
markm claps.
Spatch exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Spatch exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Taj exclaims, "WOO! WOO! WOO!"
ddyte exclaims, "Tracy meets the Edifice!"
devil smiles mysteriously to David.
Den says, "Yay. Glwwoorlgass."
Ganvira exclaims, "Go dd!!!!! Go DD!!!!!!!!!"
mef exclaims, "woo hoo!"
inky exclaims, "netlag for best game!"
Gunther exclaims, "Babel!"
Ender says (to devil), "Hey, you haven't impersonated the
hint system from Curses yet."
Gunther exclaims, "Bear!"
lpsmith says, "Stranger becomes *really* friendly,..."
Adam exclaims (to lp), "Hee hee!"
Den says, "Netlag for most useful way of interrupting
zarf."
zarf says, "And the winner is..."
zarf exclaims, "Innnnterstate Zeeeeero!"
Bruce exclaims, "Yay!"
mamster exclaims, "Woo!"
markm cheers wildly! "Congratulations!"
neild exclaims, "WHO-HOO!!!!!!!"
Sargent exclaims, "Cool!"
lpsmith cheers wildly!
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!!"
Ellison cheers
Adam asks, "Seriously?"
Den exclaims, "Nyeeeeow!"
jaysmith cheers at Adam!
inky exclaims, "woo-hoo!"
mamster exclaims (to markm), "Baby cries!"
Atomic applauds
lpsmith exclaims, "Yeaaaaah!"
Bruce cheers wilder!
liza exclaims,
"ADAMADAMADMADMADMADMADMADMDAMDAMDAM
DAM DAMDMAMDAMADMAD!"
markm shakes Adam's hand.
Spatch exclaims, "WOOOOOOHOOOO!!"
zarf dances around the stage, albeit for someone else's
game.
Atomic says, "well done, Adam...""
Adam exclaims, "Eeeagh!"
Sargent claps Adam on the back.
mef slaps Adam heartily on the back.
markm exclaims, "A-DAM A-DAM!"
ddyte exclaims, "Filth and perversion rules!"
Paul gives adam the "Mile High Salute"
Sargent exclaims, "Drinks are on Adam!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yay AdaM!!"
Bruce pours a drink on Adam.
Gunther wants an autograph from Adam
Adam says, "And here all my prepared remarks were for
Best PC."
Spatch dumps an entire cooler of Gatorade over Adam's
head.
Ganvira asks, "It was I-0?"
Adam says, "Wow. I am stunned."
Adam says, "Really."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Game trophy to Adam.
Sargent says (to Adam), "Your speech must be in the form
of a question."
eileen escorts Adam to the podium.
Ivan can hardly wait to see next year's crop of
pornographic imitators.
Paul says, "If Aessa wouldn't show up for this, she's not
worth chasing."
Adam says, "Golly."
Adam says, "I honestly don't know what to say here. I
guess all the fans of games without hardcore nudity split
their votes four ways or something."
Spatch hollers, "POST-AWARDS PARTY ARE LOCATED IN
THE ROOM ABOVE THE LONG HALL"
eileen exclaims, ""Thank you all for coming to the awards
today!!!"
Waiter says (to anyone) who gets this check for
$1,037.86?
Jalkio starts eating the hundreds of chockolate bars with
"Heist" and "Symetry" scribed on them. He was going to
share them in a celebration. He gets a sugar high that
eases his depression a bit.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Damn. You mean we gotta
clean all this up?"
lpsmith says, "The *real* party's here, right? ;-)"
Paul blushes, then congratulates the winners for real.
Ivan asks, "Wasn't that party enough already?"
mef says, "I don't know, I just see this grumpy old guy
sweeping up..."
[Spatch] Return to your pants, citizens. There is nothing
more to see.
[liza] Mmm... disconnect message.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
BULLETIN BOARD
Readers helping other readers
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
First, here's a response we received to a query in
XYZZYnews #14 from a reader looking for a text
adventure game called Asylum:
This game was actually around for about five years--but
most of them were spent only on the TRS-80. The game
was written by William Denman and published by Med
Systems Software. Your summation of the game's simple
plot (escape from a lunatic asylum) is correct, as is your
recollection that looking up anywhere in the game causes
a piano to fall on you.
Asylum was notable for being a graphic adventure with a
"3D" Doom-like perspective (yes, even on the TRS-80). It
had about 1,000 locations; this is a misleading figure in
that most of the "locations" were hallway segments, but it
was still very large. Even though it was graphic, it used
text for most communication, and all commands other
than movement were typed in; its full-sentence parser
was slightly above that of the early Infocom games. One
of its other interesting features was the command
"VOCABULARY," which would list all the keywords the
game knew (in the neighborhood of 600, as I recall). Its
puzzles relied on being bizarre rather than making you
guess the vocabulary word, and they were indeed
bizarre: at one point in the game, for instance, you find a
note reading "LOOK UP" (how most people find out about
the piano). Later on, you are sealed in a loop of a maze
with an axe-wielding maniac. The only way to kill him is
to hand him the note: he looks up and the piano falls on
him.
Med Systems Software produced several graphic
adventures using this system, including "Labyrinth" and
"Deathmaze 5000" (both with Scott Adams-style parsers),
and "Asylum" and its sequel "Asylum II." When they
decided the TRS-80 market was shrinking, they changed
their name to Screenplay. The game "Asylum" that they
released for other computers was actually a port of
"Asylum II."
These games may be accessible through emulation
software on other machines; I haven't checked the net for
intact copies yet.
--Watts Martin
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
..and below are some new queries I've received recently
from readers looking for hard-to-find games, or who are
in need of specific help. If you can help answer any of
these requests, please don't be shy about chiming in with
an answer! --EM
To XYZZYnews,
Hi. I'm a new reader, and a long-time fan of IF. I'm
curious to know if you have any idea how I might be ale
to get my hands on a copy of Robert Pinsky's Mindwheel
for PC. I've been trying to get one as long as I can
remember.
--Jonathan Allen
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
To XYZZYnews,
I've been a fan of IF since 1984 and I've just recently re-
discovered my passion when I bought a Palm Pilot. My
question is this: do you know of any IF games that that
are hacker/cyberpunk related? I'd appreciate any help
you can give me.
Thanks,
--John Kirchen
[email protected]
----------------------------------------------------
To XYZZYnews:
I started to download some issues of your e-zine and I
think you're perhaps the person who could help me:
I don't know if you are fond of programming but I have a
little problem. For many years I dreamed about an
interactive fiction application I could program. I made a
few tries, I wrote a lot (on paper) of technical ideas, but
something is lacking: I need to find a track, a way to
know where to start first. I mean : the task of doing "if"
program is incredibly complex, and even if I have some
ideas it lakes me some knowledge. I think this knowledge
could come from people who worked a lot on the subject.
For the moment the papers about the Oz project have two
problems
* a lot of information is missing, even in the thesis
* it relies a lot on LISP and others strange dialects (I
would like to use only C++)
Thus, perhaps do you have some information on WHERE
on the Net I could find technical docs which could help
me to implement some principles of IF: a lot of articles
and papers deals with "something missing" or "why do
not..." or "it could be interesting to" o
