[BUREAUCRACY STUFF, typed in by Eric Cote (
[email protected])
There are some things missing from the instructions of the game
Bureaucracy in LTOI2 that were included in the original package.
Among them, some stuff from the Popular Paranoia advertisement,
and also the Beezer card application form in triplicata.
Here is what you've been missing: ]
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[From the instruction manual]
A NOTE ABOUT MAPPING
In most text adventures, players are advised to draw a map of the game's
geography as they explore its locations. Mapping is a useful and sometimes
essential way to to learn how to get from one place to another.
However, ther are two places in _Bureacracy_ where mapping will not help.
One such place is the Airport; like airports in real life, the airport in
_Bureaucracy_ is a cartographer's nightmare but a bureaucrat's dream.
The other location where mapping is pointless is in the numbered rooms
in the Jungle. (Don't ask what numbered rooms are doing in a jungle;
just take our word for it that you don't want to map that area.)
Players who throw caution to the wind and insist upon mapping the Airport
and the Jungle will miss the entire point of those areas. Such players
deserve the fate that awaits them. (Everyone else does _not_ deserve
the fate that awaits them.)
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[From the Popular Paranoia flyer.]
AT LAST, A MAGAZINE WITH THE PROPER PERSPECTIVE!
- Aren't you tired of magazines that talk about nothing but good food and
friendly neighbors?
- That portray playgrounds, beaches, and amusement parks as safe, fun
entertainment?
- That brainwash your kids into thinking dentists, doctors, and policemen
care about them?
- That bombard you with advertisements for all kinds of harmful products?
- That never really tell you what you _want_ and _need_ to know?
- Now, at last, there's _Popular Paranoia_, "the eyes in the back of
your head."
[Four article clippings from the magazine are displayed]
[Picture of a shopping bag]
POISON IN YOUR SHOPPING BAG!
Watch out! This seemingly harmless shopping bag contains a poisonous
array of food and drug items, ranging from rancid mayonnaise to tainted
mouthwash. There's only one way to be safe... and that's with home-
produced foodstuffs. Survivalist Ed Gunkle tells you how.
[Picture of the sky]
DANGER IN THE SKY
These seemingly harmless clouds are a hotbed of poisonous radiation and
chemical wastes, waiting to fall on your head and into your drinking water!
[Picture of a line-up at a banking machine]
THEY'RE ON YOUR TRAIL
Each time you use an automatic teller machine, you're letting them know
exactly where you are, how much money you've made, and how much money
you've got left. This month, POPULAR PARANOIA gives you an informative
rundown on the sinister [... rest is hidden by next article]
[Picture of an amusement park ride]
DEADLY SAND
Chemically treated sand, [... hidden ...] ungle gym paint, amusement park
rides that really send them flying. Playgrounds and amusement parks have
entertained children for decades, but they've also caused countless deaths
and debilitating injuries. Here's a rundown of amusement parks from coast
to coast, as well as instructions for make-your-own sand and paint testing
kits.
[On the back of the flyer:]
DON'T DELAY! SUBSCRIBE TODAY!
_Popular Paranoia_ is the only magazine that lets you know how bad things
really are. It's informative, thought-provoking, and reliable in a world
where nothing else is. Isn't it time you gave yourself "eyes in the back
of your head?" Subscribe to _Popular Paranoia_ today at our special LOW
introductory rate.
Send $33.00 (cash or stamps only) and we'll send you a full year of _Popular
Paranoia_. That's 12 hard-hitting issues at 25% savings off the newsstand
price. If you think $33 is a lot of money for a magazine subscription, we'd
like you to know we work hard to research, write, and produce _Popular
Paranoia_ and deserve every penny we get.
[Coupon. (On the bottom, in tiny print, is written G-IC2-FLY)]
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| POPULAR PARANOIA CHARTER RESERVATION FORM |
| |
| YES! Please send me the current issue of _Popular Paranoia_ Magazine and |
| enter my one year (12 issues) charter subscription. I enclose $33.00 |
| cash or stamps. |
| |
| ____ I enclose $33.00 cash ____ I enclose 150 22c stamps. |
| |
| Mailing Name ____________________________________________________ |
| Mailing Address _________________________________________________ |
| City ____________________________________________________________ |
| Sate ___________________________ Zip ____________________________ |
| |
| Send to:_Popular Paranoia_, Dept QZ-3003, P.O. Box 333, Hoverville, NJ33030
| |
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[Letter from Fillmore Fiduciairy Trust, from the back of the booklet.]
Fillmore [Fillmore Logo]
Fiduciary
Trust Est. 1907
Dear Bank Customer,
As a valued credit cardholder and customer here at Fillmore Fiduciary
Trust, you are well aware of the advantages and convenience offered by your
Beezer card.
Now that you're moving to a new home, we invite you to move up to a card
that offers even more. A card that is recognized in every major city in
the world, where it immediately marks you as a person of distinction. I'm
speaking, of course, of the Fillmore Better Beezer card.
Before we go any further, I should mention that this invitation is not
extended to most people - only to those special few who are successful,
confident, and deserving of extra courtesy and personal attention. People
like you.
Just think of all the occasions you'll find to use your Fillmore Better
Beezer card as you settle into your new community. It will make an
eloquent impression each time you present it to settle a bill. And the
$10,000 credit limit will provide you with the financial flexibility you
need - a flexibility that Fillmore Fiduciary Trust is proud to provide.
To accept this offer, simply complete and sign the enclosed application
form. Please use only the pencil provided and bear down hard as you will
be making three copies. Do not separate the copies. You can trust
Fillmore Fiduciary Trust.
When you have completed the form, deliver it to the branch office where
where you originally acquired your Fillmore Beezer card. To better serve
you, we do not accept applications through the mail. There is no need to
include the $150 annual fee with your application, since it will appear on
your first Fillmore Better Beezer card statement.
We thank you for your continued association with Fillmore Fiduciary Trust
and look forward to serving you in your new community.
Yours truly,
Mitch [signed]
Mitchell O'Connor
Vice President for Financial Services
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[Also included with the package is a really tiny pencil, (1/16
inch wide) and the triplicate form that follows. LTOI2 only prints
the first page of the form. BUT, in the original package, all three
pages are different, and really funny.
Questions 3, 7, 11, 14 (first part), 16 and 17 are shaded
on the three forms. (The signature space is also shaded out.) You'll also
notice that the form is full of inconsistencies. (Not my errors, but theirs.)
Remember that when you filled out quesion X on the first page, it also
printed your answer X on the two other forms, since it's made of carbon
paper. Enjoy the humor!]
First form (white)-------------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the #2 pencil provided. Do NOT write in shaded
areas. Answer questions 1-16 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (type or use black ink only)
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1. Last Name:_______________________ 2. First Name:_______________________
3. Date of birth (day/year/month):______________/_____________/___________
5. Age (in months):_________________ 6. Present ZIP Code:_________________
7. Present Address (number, street, city, state):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Previous address:______________________________________________________
9. Number of children (including spouse):_________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORK AND FINANCES (Use a #4 pencil only)
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10. Employer's Name:________________ 11. Years at current job:____________
13. Primary annual income:$_________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Bank Name:______________________ 14A. Account number:_________________
14B. Type of account(s):
___ Checking ___ Savings ___ Other
15. Check one:
___ Own Home ___ Rent
___ Own condo/co-op ___ Other
16. Assets (check all you own, except as checked in question 15):
___ Auto (see question 6) ___ Home
___ Stereo ___ VCR
___ Major appliances ___ TV (Circle one:
Color/Black-and-white)
17. Second co-mortgagee of subscriber's trustee (including first part;
use other side if necessary):_____________________________________________
If none, give alternate and explain:______________________________________
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PLEASE SIGN THIS AUTHORIZATION. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer
International to check my credit history and permanent record. If I am
issued a second Beezer card I authorize Beezer International to exchange
information about my account with credit bureaus and institutions doing
business in North America, Europe, Asia, South America, Australia, Africa,
Antartica, Guam, or elsewhere, or with any person or persons that Beezer
International may so choose, from time to time, without recourse. By
signing below, I hereby absolve Beezer International of any
misrepresentations of fact about my account, and I agree to pay for any
charges which are billed to my account by Beezer International or its
employees. I understand that failure to answer questions 4 and 12
invalidate this application.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
Second form (yellow)-----------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the black pen provided. Write ONLY in the
shaded areas. Answer questions 1-15 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (use a #2 pencil only)
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1. First Name:______________________ 2. Last Name:________________________
3. Today's date (month/year/day):_______________/_____________/___________
5. Annual income:$__________________ 6. Previous city:____________________
7. Previous Address (number, street, city, state, zip):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Mailing address:_______________________________________________________
9. Your intelligence quotient (I.Q.):_____________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE AND OTHER LIABILITIES (use pen)
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10. Spouse's Name:__________________ 11. Age of spouse (years):___________
13. Spouse's weight (lbs):__________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Best friend:____________________ Age of friend:_______________________
14A. Spouse and friend:
___ make love ___ hate me ___ like to polka
15. Check one:
___ Own Home ___ Application denied
___ Application denied ___ Application denied
16. Liabilities (check all you rent or lease):
___ Spouse (see question 6) ___ Cat
___ Friends ___ Lemon zester
___ Relatives ___ Dog (Circle one:
Clean/rather dirty)
17. Third subscriber of co-trustee's mortgage (excluding first part;
use more paper if necessary):_____________________________________________
If true, give reason and describe:________________________________________
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PLEASE TAKE RESPONSABILITY. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer
International to alter my credit history and permanent record. If I am
issued a second Beezer card I agree not to use the card to purchase drugs,
alcohol, cigarettes, clothes, food, paper, plastics, textiles, cheese,
popcorn poppers, services or products of any kind, or use the card in
any unauthorized way. Use of the card by me authorizes Beezer to cancel
my rights as a cardholder. I agree to pay a service fee of $20 per month
for the card; this fee may be increased by any amount at any time by
Beezer International. I agree to notify Beezer International of any
change in my name, address, employer, weight, sex, salary, hair color,
or shirt. I understand that failure to answer questions 4 and 12 is a
violation of the law.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
Third form (pink)--------------------------------------------------------
G-IC2-FIT
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FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD
Application
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Answer questions 1-20 using the Burg scoring system. Erase shading in
shaded areas. Answer questions 1-13 only.
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (leave this space blank)
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1. Full Name:_______________________ 2. Spouse's Name:____________________
3. Hat size/shoe size/ring size:________________/_____________/___________
5. No. of tattoos:__________________ 6. Favorite Colour:__________________
7. Nearest toxic waste dump (we're just curious):
__________________________________________________________________________
8. Names of children:_____________________________________________________
9. Highest number you can think of:_______________________________________
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PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR CREDIT WORTHLESSNESS (use common sense)
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10. Last Fired From:________________ 11. Months at last job:______________
13. Pancakes eaten today:___________ Explain:_____________________________
14. Car Make:_______________________ Accidents in 1987:___________________
14r. Type of accidents:
___ head-on ___ sideswipes ___ fender-benders
15. Check one:
___ I drink heavily ___ I chew with my mouth open
___ I wear ratty underwear ___ I enjoy sheep
16. Gifts to Beezer (thank you!):
___ Auto ___ All the above
___ House ___ All possessions
___ Stereo ___ Draw a square:
17. On what page of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or its sequel
including the North American edition?_____________________________________
Of the following (unless), wich are?______________________________________
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TAKE A FLYING LEAP. I hereby swear that all the above information is true.
I authorize Beezer International to change this information, and swear
that such changes will also be true. Beezer may sign any documents in my
name, and I agree to be liable for anything. I shall do whatever Beezer
wants, and will hold Beezer totally blameless for any misfortunes I may
suffer as a result. I do this willingly and knowingly, and I have read
this form completely and thoroughly, so I can't back up of this no matter
what. Really, I think Beezer International is just wonderful. Beezer may
use the preceding endorsement in advertising or in the courtroom sould
any suits be brought against them. I understand that failure to answer
questions 4 and 12 is punishable by death.
Signature_________________________________________________________________
[As an added bonus, here are the quotes from the inside of the box.
Some funny stuff!]
TAKE THEIR WORDS FOR IT!
"Because of customs in Canada, it took 56 days to receive your software."
John, age 35, St.Johns, Newfoundland,Canada
"The story and map included in the package do not seem to relate to the
game at all."
Jim, age 33, Gardenia, California
"Could not copy with ProDos Utilities supplied by Apple with computer.
Had to dig up an old DOS 3.3 from dealer (who is a moron)."
Gina, age 31, Lemay, Missouri
"It would be better if my print description could be
'RS232/2.BA=4800.DA=8' since resetting DIP switches and switching cables
for the only program in my collection not defaulting to the correct
parameters discourages using the script command."
Erwin, age 27, Cary, North Carolina
"It was hard to open."
Willy, age 25, Lexington, Kentucky
"This is the 5th time I've filled in a registration card and I still
haven't received _The Status Line_. Don't care once you have
the money, eh?"
John, age 24, Merrit Island, Florida
"Our program package is missing the instructions from inside the front
cover. Please send replacement before family becomes violent."
Dale, age 48, Downsview, Ontario, Canada
"Finally, an Infocom game that doesn't make any sense."
Liz, age 26, Beverly, Massachusetts
