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Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2002 23:54:10 GMT
Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu soc.culture.british:850608

Subject: Soc.Culture.British FAQs - Periodic posting
Newsgroups: soc.culture.british

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.3 beta (Perl 5.000)
Archive-name: scb/faq
Posting-Frequency: posted on or around the 3rd of each month
Last-modified: 1996/08/11
Version: 1.5
URL: http://ng.netgate.net/~barry/FAQ.html
Maintainer: Gwyn Evans <[email protected]>
and Barry Twycross <[email protected]>

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQ) FOR SOC.CULTURE.BRITISH
--------------------------------------------------------

Last updated: 11 Aug 1997
(See end for credits)

1. What's the difference, if any, between England, Scotland, Britain,
the U.K. and the British Isles ?

2. What's the surname of the Royal Family ? And does Prince Charles's
passport really give "Prince" as his Occupation/Profession ?

3. How can you Brits possibly be happy when you're subjects and not
Citizens, and you don't have a written Constitution ?

4. What's the best/cheapest way from Heathrow/Gatwick to (delete as
appropriate) Oxford/Cambridge/London/Gatwick/Heathrow ?

5. I have a 1 hour layover at Heathrow next month. Will that be
enought time to get into London, take a general sightseeing tour,
and also visit the Tower and Madame Tussaud's ?

6. Why don't you Brits just stand up and admit your responsibility
for (delete as appropriate) the crisis in Bosnia / the World War
II concentration camps / General Lee's defeat at Gettysburg / the
expulsion of Adam & Eve from the Garden of Eden ?

7. And while you're at it, why don't you just give the Malvinas and
Gibraltar back to their rightful Spanish owners ?

8. What was that ftp site that has the complete rules to Mornington
Crescent ?

9. What is marmite? is it anything like vegemite?

10. I'm coming to Britain and what precautions should I take with
my 120V electrical appliances?

11. Why do you Brits have that silly plumbing in your kitchen
sink (no mixer taps)/shower (no water pressure/hot water)?

12. Would you like a hot sexy time with a nubile young college girl?
Call 1-900-48572-39475-7294 / Would you like to pay some
incredibly low price for your long distance? call this
number.....? [admittedly, these questions aren't unique to
s.c.british, but they ARE asked frequently]

13. Who is this Laurence Godfrey, and why is he saying all those
nasty things about Germans/Canadians/Thais? [number of this
question not co-incidental]

14. I'm looking for my old friend Basil Bloggs of Ashby de la Zouche
(though he may have moved to Newcastle by now) could you
help me please? I haven't heard from him in 32 years...

15. How dare you Brits criticise the good ole US of A...
it's only 'cos you're sore that we kicked your sorry asses
in 1777 and 1814, and then had to help you out when you
got stuck with that Hitler guy and without the US you'd be
speaking German by now, and you sat around doing nothing
until the US taught you how to fight...

16. What exactly is this Livesey scale I keep reading about?

17. I have just accepted a 5 year contract in ????. Where is it,
and what is it like?

18. What are the words to God Save the Queen /
Rule Britannia / Jerusalem? (and a variant, from those who
don't actually know the title of >Jerusalem< but hum a
few bars for us)

19. What's been happening with >>The Archers<< recently?

20. Why don't you f*ckwits get rid of Betty Windsor? She's nothing
but a <insert stream of scatological invective> and a parasite
on the poor slobs of Britain. [Admittedly, this question is
nearly always asked by Seamus O'Tiernagh, but it IS frequently
asked]

21. I am writing a paper but want to go out this evening. Do you
know anything about this topic, and if you do, could you do
all my research for me so I don't have the hassle of going
to the library?"

22. What does the word "bint"/{etc} mean?

23. Why do you (Brits) drive on the left / (wrong) side of the road.

24. Is there an FAQ?

25. I am looking for the e-mail addresses for the Cabinet Ministers and

Memebers of Parliment. [Not strictly a question, but I'll
accept it as such]

26. How does a question get in the FAQ?

27. To settle an argument, could you please let me know if "scone"
should be pronounced "scone" or "scone".

28. Just what is British English for 1,000,000,000 (nine zeros)?

29. What do the Brits generally call citizens of the United States of
America?

30. How long is a fortnight?

31. How can you guys exist on a permanent diet of bland, insipid,
stodgy,
tasteless food?

32. Do you have cable TV/caravans/hot water/railways/mobile 'phones/etc

in England?

33. Do British shops accept US dollars?

34. Can I bring my M60 machine gun through airport customs?

35. Does it take more than half an hour to drive from London to
Scotland?

36. Why do you limeys drink warm beer?

37. Why do you limeys all sound gay?

38. Why does it always rain in England?

39. When is a good time to visit the Queen?

40. How do you make the perfect cup of tea?

41. What is the weather like in London in [Jan|Feb|Mar|...|Dec]?

42. I would like to seek your assistance as how the following American
English are converted to British English.
cookie, automobile, mail (noun), truck, elevator,
apartment, gasoline, janitor, high school, freeway?

Anyone else?

Credits
-------
Nos 1 to 8 compiled by: [email protected] (Frank D. M. Wilson)
Nos 9 to 14 compiled by: [email protected] (Chris Ambidge)
Nos 15 to 16 supplied by: [email protected] (J. Reese)
No 15 extended by: [email protected] (Jon Livesey)
No 17 supplied by: [email protected] (Hywel Phillips)
Nos 18 to 20 compiled by: [email protected] (Chris Ambidge)
No 21 supplied by: [email protected] (marshallsay timothy)
No 22 supplied by: [email protected] (Alec Chambers)
No 23 supplied by: [email protected] (Jeff Drabble) (+ Gareth?)
No 24 supplied by: [email protected] (Balkan Looney)
No 25 asked by: [email protected] ()
No 26 supplied by: [email protected] (Ed Fowler) (+ Gareth)
No 27 asked by: [email protected] (Simon Groom)
No 28 asked by: [email protected] (Joel Rubin)
No 29 supplied by: [email protected] (Ed Fowler)
No 30 supplied by: [email protected] (Peter Lusby)
No 31 supplied by: [email protected] (David Wheeler)
Nos 32 to 39 compiled by: [email protected] (Chris Hedley)
No 40 supplied by: [email protected] (Simon Patience)
No 41 supplied by: [email protected] ()
No 42 suggested by: [email protected] (Simon Patience)

September 2002 update - Interesting that only one of these e-mail
addresses still works. So much for the (non-existent) C***l.

Warm regards
Peter

--
"A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware" - Rupert Brooke - "The
Soldier"

Peter J Lusby
San Diego, California, USA
www.lusby.org