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From: Smaug <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: alt.spleen
Subject: alt.spleen FAQ - Contents (v6.0, part 1 of 5)
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 18:24:04 +0100
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                         the official alt.spleen
                                   FAQ
                      - Frequently Asked Questions -

                       Current Maintainer -  Smaug
                  (andy.sands@!SPAMBUSTERHERE!bigfoot.com)

                 99% of this FAQ written by Andrew Stellman
                ([email protected] - no longer valid e-mail)

                                version 6.0
                         last modified 10/18/2000
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            -> As featured in Internet Underground, issue #7 <-

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            this FAQ is available on the World Wide Web
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/>

            or you can download the text files
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/contents>
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partI>
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partII>
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partIII>
            <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/appendix>

            Smaug's Hall of Threads
            <http://www.andysands.clara.net/monastery/spleen.htm>

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NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY MAIL TO ME REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE!
I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.

Table of Contents:

 I. Basic Spleen Facts
 <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partI.html>

- What is the purpose of alt.spleen?
- Can I vent my spleen on alt.spleen?
- Are these questions *REALLY* frequently asked?
- Is this the only FAQ?
- Did you really write a script to convert this FAQ into HTML?
- So what is that spleen thing, anyway?
- Do I have a spleen?
- How do I care for my spleen?
- Where did the spleen get such a beautiful name?
- Are the rumors of spleen violence true?
- Does the spleen change size or shape? Like, does it get big?
- No, I mean *REALLY* big. What happens when the spleen gets *REALLY*
 big?
- Who is Faisal?
- Does alt.spleen get a lot of traffic?
- Was this FAQ really featured in Internet Underground magazine?



 II. General Spleen Tips
 <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partII.html>

- Has there ever been a case of accidental rupturing of the spleen?
- How can I keep my spleen clean?
- What about nutrition?
- Are there vegetarian alternatives?
- Can I splendify my spleen by adding aluminum siding?
- If your spleen accidentally OD's what is the proper dosage of
 adrenaline to administer in the emergency injection?
- What is the estimated time that the spleen can remain unconscious
 before permanent damage is inevitable?
- Upon recovery, which overpriced movie house confectionry would be
 best to feed it?
- What happens when you swallow phlegm? Why would a spleen care?
- Is there such thing as a "second spleen"? Do some people have more
 than one spleen? Can this "second spleen" be donated?
- Does giving blood have any adverse effects on the spleen?
- Why do squirrels seem so interested in me?
- How do you get rid of a spleen?
- When I die, should I convert my spleen to binary and post it to
 alt.spleen?



 III. Spleen Trivia
 <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/partIII.html>

- Who created alt.spleen, and why?
- Who has the most spleens?
- Who is Geoff?
- What is trephination?
- Does trephination hurt your spleen?
- So why all this mention of Spam? Where does it come from?
- What is "boogaloo", and what does it have to do with Margaret
 Thatcher?
- Has your mother really read this FAQ?
- Did Andy Warhol really lose his spleen?
- What did Ricky say when Lucy came home with an extra spleen?
- So, who died and made Keith "God of the newsgroup?"
- I've heard rumors of a secret spleen club. Are these rumors true?
- Why would anyone want a girlfriend WITHOUT a spleen?
- Lately my spleen has been ordering pizzas and expects me to pay.
 Surely this is unfair as I have been a good host. Furthermore, how
 could my spleen be using the phone?
- Who is the patron Young One of alt.spleen?
- What's all this "ob" stuff?
- Is there a zine called SPLEEN?
- Where can I find out more about the spleen?



 Appendix
 <http://anon.razorwire.com/alt.spleen.FAQ/appendix.html>

Appendix A: Free Speech, Censorship and the alt.spleen FAQ

Appendix B: A Message from the Producers of TV's "Flipper"

Appendix C: Bibliography

Appendix D: Smaug's additions (WARNING DISEASED MIND PRESENT)
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Do you have any questions, comments or additions? I'd like your input!
Contact me ([email protected]), and I'll be happy to help you in any way that
I can.
Please do not send me medical questions, though, since I am not a doctor and
have no medical knowledge.

Have a splendid day!

<Footnote from Smaug (The not so great and not so golden)
If you manage to contact Roo - you are cleverer than the rest of us here at
spleen!>

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