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From: [email protected] (Phennommennonn)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dennis-miller
Date: 09 Aug 2003 00:37:12 GMT
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Subject: THE DENNIS MILLER FAQ pt 2
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.fan.dennis-miller:6453

originally posted by Thomas Heald ([email protected])

<edited for space>

And now ladies and gentlemen, here it is, THE DENNIS MILLER FAQ pt 2

5.0 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

5.1 Did he do anything else, but "do the news" on SNL?"
Miller rarely appeared in a sketches as he "seems to be missing the impression
gene." However, he was part of arguably the most controversial sketch ever on
SNL, notably referred to as, "the Penis Sketch" written by Conan O'Brien,
officially known as 'Nude Beach.'  In this sketch the word 'penis' used 43
times.  The next day NBC was flooded with complaints. Miller was accompanied by
Kevin Nealon, Matthew Broderick, and Dana Carvey.   During the cable broadcast,
"The Comedy Mind of Alan King" Miller commented that he doesn't do anything in
regards to scripts and appearances without creating a script of everything he
intends to say and then practicing it in front of a mirror before the
appearance.   He's not comfortable doing appearances unless he's prepared.

5.2   What were some of his catch phrases on Weekend Update?
Good evening and what can I tell you?
That's the news ... and I ... am ... outta here!!!!

5.3   What was the scariest "Dennis Miller Moment" on SNL?
The time in 1986 when Garry Shandling hosted and Miller appeared as a waiter
in a restaurant and at the end of the program when they all wave buh-bye his
hair was slicked back and pulled into a ponytail... It can best be described as
"Pat Riley fights Steven Seagal." Says Dennis of this answer : "That's funny.
It's this undiluted stuff I love (about the 'net)."

5.4  How's he feel about SNL now that he ain't there no more?
"Parts of it were bullshit. Sometimes we were elitist and I was an elitist at
the beginning. If people didn't get stuff, we had an 'it's just over their
heads' mentality. But that's crap. You're either funny or you're not."

6.0 OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED DENY - YOU BASTARDS - THE FILMS OF DENNIS MILLER

6.1  What's the deal with these movie roles Dennis gets?
"In every film I've done, I'm not a character; it's just Dennis Miller in a
film. If you need a smart-ass guy, you call me. If you need someone to play a
sensitive French artist whose parents left him when he was two, forget it. I'm
screwed...I don't think of my characters as defined by my occupation. I think
of myself in movies as the exposition eunuch. They bring me in a third of the
way into the movie when people are starting to lose the various threads. I ask
the leading lady to f--- me. She says no. I sit at the edge of her bed, and she
does a Barnaby Jones unwind to my Lee Meriwether.... Then I go get killed. My
acting career will be predetermined when (a film) opens. But if somebody said
you can pick only one: movie star or HBO show, I'd pick HBO. I'm not hung up on
being a movie star. It's not what I burn to do; I burn to do my show."

6.2 But these movies haven't been *that* bad have they?
People Magazine critic Leah Rozen says although Denny was the best part of
"Bordello of Blood." "the film ought to be double-billed with Showgirls."

6.3  He gets killed in every film?
Well, not all of them...
Madhouse -- wacky best friend of main character -- survives.
The Net -- shrink/"a guy Sandra Bullock won't fuck" -- gets taste of his own
medicine, dies in car crash
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood -- wacky offbeat private eye --
survives, but probably dies a couple scenes after the film ends
Disclosure - pissed off coworker -- survives.
Never Talk to Strangers -- annoying upstairs neighbor -- Stabbed, but probably
dies a couple scenes after the film ends
Murder at 1600 -- wacky best friend of main character -- shot in underground
sewer catacombs under the White House

6.4  I heard they let him rewrite his own dialogue. Nobody's that stupid are
they?
This is Hollywood. His role in Disclosure was not only written especially for
him, "They really let me rewrite my lines, and I think it came together pretty
well."

6.5  I also heard he worked as a script doctor on that last really crappy
Batman flick. True?
Well, People Magazine (white trash magazine of choice) says he received
$300,000 for "punching up" the script of "Batman and Robin." "Dennis was
laughing his ass off at the money he was getting." Batman director Joel
Schumacher says Miller, a pal and Batman fanatic, just "gave me two jokes after
I gave him an old Batman relic. We're not even sure if we're going to use
them."

6.6 Know what those two jokes are?
No clue. Finding this out would probably require actually watching that bomb.
But I gotta tell you that at $150,000 each, they're likely the funniest damn
jokes ever written.

6.7  Some of the filmographies of Dennis include a couple of Australian
TV-movies. Dennis did the Outback?
Nope. Good lord, there's no way there could be two guys in the business named
Dennis Miller is there? Hey, one of them's funny, the other's Australian.

7.0 DENNIS MILLER INTER-NOT

7.1   Is Dennis "on the Net?"
Well, not directly ... translation... HE HAS NO EMAIL ADDRESS!   "As for my
computer skills, you know there hasn't been anybody that ineffective on a
keyboard since Susan Dey was in the Partridge Family." Yup, he's still "a
yellow legal pad kind of guy." While most comics are typing away in their
notebook computers, Miller still scratches his material out on paper.  Which
made him the perfect spokesman for Microsoft, right?

You can always try sending him your manifesto at:
 Dennis Miller
 c/o Brillstein-Grey
 9150 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 350
 Beverly Hills, CA 90212

7.2  You said he's not a computer geek like the rest of us. What's he think
about the 'Net?
"It's not a fad, it's the human crossroads. The eight-track was a fad. It's a
wide Sargasso Sea with many kelp beds that can hang you up, but clear sailing
if you have the proper tugboat to lead you through the one deep channel."

7.3 What about the show, they've gotta have an e-mail address, right?
Nope. You can "RANT-BACK" to the show using a webform via their HBO site at :
http://www.hbo.com/dml/cmp/rantback.html.

7.4  Well, yeah, but he's gotta come to his newsgroup and read what we think
about him, right?
The show does regularly scan the alt.fan.dennis-miller newsgroup for general
feedback on the show and a sample are passed on to Eddie Feldmann, the show's
head writer. Additionally, a writers' assistant from the show tries to answer
questions that are posted in the group.

7.5  Aside from this rather crummy representation of the FAQ, (always
available at <http://come.to/dennismiller>) and the DML homepage are there any
really good Denny pages you'd actually recommend?
Not a lot. A lot of them really suck. But, there's : a decent Episode guide at
<http://members.iquest.net/~neuffev/dennis.htm>,
a great set of sounds at Pusboil's Dennis Miller Sounds
<http://www.netlabs.net/hp/pusboil/miller.htm>,
and The Dennis Miller Drinking Game at
<http://www.typhoon.com/~uring/tvdrink/games/dmiller.htm>.

7.6  Any mailing lists?
Kinda, there's one that devotes itself to both Dennis Miller & Robin Williams.
You can find it at <http://www.onelist.com>

8.0  DENNIS MILLER AND FRIENDS

8.1 Has he been a guest on any other talk shows?
Yes, Late Show and Late Night with David Letterman, Late Late Show with Tom
Snyder, The Arsenio Hall Show, Later with Bob Costas, Whoopi Goldberg,
Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher, the Howard Stern Radio Show, The Rosie
O'Donnell Show, The Howie Mandel Show and Larry King Live.   Let it go on the
record that Dennis was the first to get bleeped on the Late Late Show. You have
to shake Tom Snyder up every few months or he starts to collect dust, you know.
Miller also hosted Larry King Live for a week in 1994, but, hell, so did Kermit
the Frog.

8.2  Who is his favorite late night talk show host (besides himself)?
Miller has said that David Letterman has the funniest show on television,
though he told Tom Snyder a month or so back that "I loved going on Letterman
for years. But, they started telling me I had to clear the halls, that David
didn't want to be looked at as he was leaving the make...This is getting too
weird ...  Might not be Dave talking, but I found the vibe so quirky there that
I just...when they say, "Hey, you wanna do Letterman?" It is almost kinda like
your flashcard thought is, "It seems so tense there." I mean the last time I
was there...ya know. I...just thought "I can't do this for a while." But when I
get a call ... and that is not to say ... he kills me ... now when he is
getting pissy again, when he is getting surly ... he makes me laugh out loud. I
think he is brilliant. But, the show itself makes me a little tense But, when I
get a call from you, I say, "Yeah, I'll do Snyder." On Larry King, before
Miller had his new show and Conan O'Brien had Late Night, Miller turned to the
camera and said, "Hey, Dave, babe, I'm still outta work!"  Miller was one of
the names mentioned to take over the now floundering Late Night with Conan
O'Brien.   It is rumored that he wasn't selected because of some derogatory
comments he directed toward NBC executives (network weasels). And at the very
end of the segment, Miller apologized to Dave for perhaps revealing some
"insider info," that he'll probably do Late Show again, and kept on
apologizing. As for Leno ... well, Dennis was not so fond of  him for obvious
reasons that occurred during the booking wars.   Miller has made these feeling
known on several talk shows, most notably, on the Howard Stern radio program.
In recent years Miller and Leno "made nice-nice."

8.3   Who did Dennis support in the 1992 & 1996 elections?
Ross Perot.. That crazy Tolkien character with a Gold Card.

8.4  What's he think of President Clinton?
That's a really good question. He doesn't seem to talk about Clinton at all.
Really? No, we're kidding. lighten up. Dennis : "He's a hack. I think he's the
worst president in my adult lifetime. Those other guys, at least they believed
their bullshit when their heads hit the pillow. Clinton's smarter than that. He
knows better... I know he's probably about as full of shit as I am."

9.0 SO YOU'VE GOT WAY TOO MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME

9.1  Okay so wrap it up for me ... What's this Dennis Miller guy done,
really?

TV series
"Saturday Night Live" Weekend Update Anchor (Nov 9,1985 to May 18,1991);
"Dennis Miller Show, The"    (January 1992- September 1992); "Dennis Miller
Live" (HBO)  (1994-); "PM Magazine" (early eighties); "Pittsburgh Today" (the
"warm up guy");

Specials and stuff
"Comic Relief V"; "Comic Relief VI"; "Comic Strip Live"
"Bing:  His Legendary Years" (cable)
"E! Summer at the Movies" (E!) (6/96)
"Emmy Awards"  1992;
"Espy Awards" (ESPN);
1994 "Billboard Music Awards";
1994 MTV Movie Awards;
1996 MTV Video Awards;
"Girls' Night Out:  The Young Comedians" (cable);
"A New York Night (1993)" (HBO);
"State of the Union Undressed" (Comedy Central) (1/25/1994, 1/24/1995,
1/24/1996)
G.Q. Man of the Year Awards (1997, 1998);
participant in 1997 Sam Kinison Tribute

Sitcoms:
"NewsRadio" (1995) playing "Obsessed Fan"
and playing himself on : "Night Stand" (1995),
"The John Larroquette Show" (1993),
"The Ben Stiller Show" (12/10/92)
"Dream On" (1990)

Comedy Specials:
"Mr. Miller Goes to Washington" (HBO Special 1988) (on video as 'Live from
Washington it's Dennis Miller and audio as 'The Off-White album');
"Black and White" (HBO Special 1992);
"They Shoot HBO Specials, Don't They?" (HBO Special 1993);
"Citizen Arcane" (HBO Special 1996) from the Aspen Comedy festival
Dennis Miller: the Playboy Interview (May 1996)

CD-ROM Interactive software
"That's News to Me with Dennis Miller"
"It's Geek to Me"
"Movieoke"

Commercial sellouts
Accura commercials (he's the talking dog);
Miller Beer commercials (get it, it's 'Miller' time)
some golf clubs on the Golf Channel ... we're looking into it...
TGIFriday's Restaurant commercials
Spokesman for MSN online
M&M commercials
Victoria's Secret
10-10-220

Books
"Dennis Miller: Ranting Again"
"Dennis Miller: The Rants"
(both available in audiocassette and audioCD)

Albums
The Off White Album (1988)

Movies
Madhouse (1990)
Disclosure (1994)
Never Talk to Strangers (1995)
The Net (1995)
Tales From The Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)
Murder at 1600 (1997)

9.2  Any T-shirts, mugs, etc., I can buy?
Not available to the public. There was some talk last season about producing
some merchandise and selling it over the Web via the HBO website, but nothing
ever really came of it. Tribune Media made a promotional deck of playing cards
with pictures of Dennis, Geraldo, and whomever their other big stars were while
the Dennis Miller Show was being pimped.

9.3  Great, but is any of this crass merchandise still in print?
A lot of it yeah. And when Dennis Miller FAQ guy has time he's creating a
little Dennis Miller Bookstore at <http://members.aol.com/thisnite/dstore.html>
Decent savings on most stuff, and a crack search team to track down the
out-of-print things.

9.4  There's some guy who says he's selling RARE COLLECTORS Dennis Miller
Live videos on Ebay.com? Should I buy one? Is it worth it?
Hey, you got an extra ten-spot? Sure, why not. What he's offering is the Emmy
Screener video.
The tape has 2 eps from Dennis, and 2 from The Chris Rock Show, and HBO made
up screener tapes for OZ, Tracey Ullman and The Larry Sanders Show. If you're
lucky you can find the entire box of ten tapes. Well, lucky if that's what
you'd call having a copy of David Schwimmer in the wacky breast implant
docu-comedy "Breast Men."
There are hundreds of copies floating around. And although the Academy of
Television Arts & Sciences

10.0 THAT'S THE NEWS, AND I AM OUTTA HERE.

10.1 How often is this FAQ updated?
Monthly, and posted to the newsgroups on or about the 10th of each month.

10.2 Where can I find this FAQ?
Currently it's being posted to alt.comedy.standup., alt.fan.dennis-miller,
alt.tv.snl, and rec.arts.tv.

10.3 Why didn't you answer my question? How do I get my question answered here?
A) You haven't asked it yet.
B) Nobody really cares.
It's probably "A," though. Either ask it in the newsgroup, or email it to
<[email protected]>.

10.4 Why are you so bitter?
Probably because you just asked one of these frequently asked questions
instead of reading the answers here.

10.5 Credits & Thank yous
This FAQ has been maintained by
1995-1997 Jennifer Laurie
1998-Thomas Allen Heald, LATE SHOW NEWS
All Rights Reserved.   This FAQ is not written with the expressed written
consent of Dennis Miller.  But it very well could be though. Redistribute as
much as necessary, but please include the authors & thanks yous.
Thanks to: SNL: The First 20 Years, Bill Carter's The Late Shift, USA WEEKEND,
Entertainment Weekly, INsider magazine, Celebsite, [email protected], Doug
Krause and the SNL FAQ,  The omnipresent Dennis Miller Newsgroup, Aaron
Barnhart, and of course... Donz5

"Things are just really fucked up, and now we're all neurotic, just liberally
neurotic. So of course I'm pissed off and fed up. Aren't you?" -- Dennis Miller



While I may not agree with what you say, I will defend until your death my
right to disagree~~Granny Potter

"You cannot change, alter, manipulate, or excuse, the language or terminology
used--to what you perceive it to be nor to your benefit."

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