So much to do that nothing gets done
I've kind of continually built this huge list in my head, of things I want to
do "some time when I've got nothing else to do", I may have added to this list
since I was a teenager.. Some of the things that pop up must have been put
there so many years ago.. I've never really formalized the list, i've never
really taken anything off of it.. The list seems so full now, full of items
which may be tivial, things that I don't need.. That I don't have to do..
Thing is, it's kind of a prioritized list, it's generally not okay to do the
lesser important things before the important ones.. But, not everything on the
list is there because i WANT to do them, maybe the problem is that I have only
one list, containing two different categories of things..
Things I would like to do / Priority
Things that need to be done / Priority
There may be a slight overlap, there are things, that when the universe is in
a certain state, has to be done, that I don't mind doing. Those things include
mundanities such as mowing the lawn, cooking, eating, maintaining the house.
But when the universe is in a less perfectly arranged state, those things are
but chores, and only eating up time that I'd prefer to spend on things of the
type "Would like to do", but.. I find it very difficult to do things I like to
do, when I know that there are still things that "has to be done".. I struggle
with arguing that "I _have_ to do this non-important thing because it makes me
happy and prevents me from becoming stressed and depressed", that almost only
adds another layer of stress, because now recreation has become a chore too,
and with chores, you generally want to maximise gain and minimise expense.
There is something stressful about trying to determine how to best spend ones
time on recreation.. And there is something contradictive in trying to optimize
how one wastes ones time.
