"People of Earth, your attention please," a voice said, and it
was wonderful. Wonderful perfect quadrophonic sound with
distortion levels so low as to make a brave man weep.
"This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace
Planning Council," the voice continued. "As you will no doubt be
aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the
Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route
through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of
those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly
less that two of your Earth minutes. Thank you."
The PA died away.
Uncomprehending terror settled on the watching people of Earth.
The terror moved slowly through the gathered crowds as if they
were iron fillings on a sheet of board and a magnet was moving
beneath them. Panic sprouted again, desperate fleeing panic, but
there was nowhere to flee to.
Observing this, the Vogons turned on their PA again. It said:
"There's no point in acting all surprised about it. All the
planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in
your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of
your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any
formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss
about it now."
The PA fell silent again and its echo drifted off across the
land. The huge ships turned slowly in the sky with easy power. On
the underside of each a hatchway opened, an empty black space.
By this time somebody somewhere must have manned a radio
transmitter, located a wavelength and broadcasted a message back
to the Vogon ships, to plead on behalf of the planet. Nobody ever
heard what they said, they only heard the reply. The PA slammed
back into life again. The voice was annoyed. It said:
"What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? For
heaven's sake mankind, it's only four light years away you know.
I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in
local affairs that's your own lookout.
"Energize the demolition beams."
Light poured out into the hatchways.
"I don't know," said the voice on the PA, "apathetic bloody
planet, I've no sympathy at all." It cut off.
There was a terrible ghastly silence.
There was a terrible ghastly noise.
There was a terrible ghastly silence.
The Vogon Constructor fleet coasted away into the inky starry
void.
--
H2G2: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
