Subject: Tales of Blood-Curdling Terror
From: Robot Karate Man <[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>>
Newsgroups: alt.2eggs.sausage.beans.tomatoes.2toast.largetea.cheerslove

> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
> CONTINUE?

Yes.

> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

YES!

> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
> YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-
> TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
> COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT
> LET YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE
> MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't
very
well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...

> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC
> DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS:
> WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR,
> KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS, MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD,
> USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

All that?

> YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.

Well what *DOES* work?

> THE MOUSE.

The mouse?

> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

> YES YOU DO.

No I don't.

> WHAT'S THAT THEN?

It's a 3 1/2 drive.

> NO IT ISN'T.

Yes it is.

> YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
drivers for everything later? Please?

> WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?

Well it is mine.

> NO IT ISN'T.

It bloody well is.

> NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM.
> IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE
> MONEY.

But why?

> BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE
> PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY
> PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN
> WHERE WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY,
> WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
> THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON
> THAT DISK. IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS
> WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........







c:\

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