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Stardate: 20220214.1620 | |
Location: SBUX | |
Input Device: Gemini PDA | |
Audio: Barista talking to customer, Spanish conversation among elderly. | |
Visual: Afternoon Sunlight peaking through the shades. | |
Emotional State: Concerned, uncertain. | |
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Last night, a fairly new friend of mine called me in a frantic state. | |
Let's call her Rachel. Rachel had just gotten off of work and was | |
drunk and crying. She confided with me what was going on. She was | |
in a situation where she was going to hook up with a guy later that | |
evening. Let's call him Chad. Rachel had been seeing Chad "for fun." | |
Rachel explicitly told Chad that their relationship was, "for fun," | |
but Chad does not seem to get it. On top of that, they work together. | |
Then Rachel told me about this other relationship she has with this | |
girl. Let's call her Jennifer. Rachel and Jennifer had hooked up | |
with each other at the communal living space that they both live at. | |
They both know that the relationship is "for fun." Rachel feels | |
close and comfortable with Jennifer, but she is in conflict since | |
she grew up with strong religious beliefs regarding "having fun" with | |
members of the same sex. | |
Rachel is not ready to be in a serious relationship right now, but | |
knows that she has needs that need to be attended to. She knew that | |
she was going to hook up with Chad and that there would be | |
consequences. She doesn't want to lead him on and just wants to | |
"have fun" with Chad, but knows that he has a different agenda. | |
Rachel feels bad that she keeps hurting people with patterns like | |
this and does not know what to do, especially when she cannot "help | |
herself," but to do what she does. | |
I must have been on the phone with her for about an hour. I really | |
had no useful advice to give her from my own experience. All I could | |
really do was just listen and be there for her as a friend. It | |
would not have been appropriate for me to provide any kind of advice | |
or suggestions. So I just listened and let Rachel know that I cared | |
about her and was there for her. Sometimes that is all I can do. I | |
hope that Rachel does find her way and finds someone more helpful | |
with whom she could talk to and get some proper guidance. | |
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