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Stardate: 20210721.1537 | |
Location: B&N SBUX | |
Input Device: Gemini PDA | |
Audio: Neck fan, cafe people | |
Visual: Gemini PDA on a chair next to an iced coffee | |
Emotional State: Warm and in pain | |
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I am annoyed by people who occupy a table in the cafe without | |
ordering anything. Now I have to type hunched over a seat of a chair. | |
At least there is that. I am not a big fan of thumb typing on this | |
device, but it is doable. I'll prolly have to switch in a bit. At | |
least I am not touching the damn screen. Love me some hardware | |
buttons. | |
Today I got to start walkng through a fear of mine. Again. That fear | |
is everything involved with the dentist. I am not a fan of going to | |
the dentist and it brings about much anxiety in me. It happens every | |
time and I need to find a way to break this cycle. This time, I was | |
forced into it because of pain. Pain is a great motivator! This | |
pain has been going on for a few days now and it woke me up this | |
morning around 3AM in pain and had to take a pain pill, which I am | |
not too fond of taking. I told myself that I need to make an | |
appointment later this morning which I successfully made. So for | |
now I get to experience pain. | |
For most things I am not ussually like this, but for some reason, | |
the dentist has me acting like a big baby. I haven't had anything | |
terribly traumatic from past dental work, but for some reason at this | |
point in my life, it freaks me the fuck out. That damn drill and | |
other rotary equipment vibrating through my skull. It is not even | |
the work so much, rather, that sound which I cannot even surpress | |
with ear plugs because it is reverberating throughout my whole head. | |
Perhaps this round when I go in, I will take care to better prepare | |
myself for the visit. Write more about this fear, talk about it | |
with a friend, meditate beforehand, and make sure I just show up. | |
This may sound silly and a bit much to some, but I know that I need | |
to frame this fear in this way for me to be able to walk through it. | |
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