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Stardate: 20210416.0121 | |
Location: The Lab | |
Input Device: Asus X200CA (daimos) | |
Audio/Visual: | |
$ finger [email protected] | |
[baud.vision] | |
Dispatches from Probability Beach 5 | |
Emotional: procrastinating sleep | |
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I walk in the park almost every day since the start of COVID and | |
keep coming across various kinds of sport balls. Mostly tennis | |
balls, some racquet balls, gorf balls, etc. I usually kick these | |
around the park until I get back to my starting point. It has since | |
become a game, which I call "COVID Ball." I don't get to play every | |
time I visit the park, but I do play when I do get a chance. Here | |
are the rules of COVID Ball: | |
1. Scan ground for ball during daily walk. | |
Probablility of success is greater near the dog park or baseball | |
diamonds. | |
2. If unsuccessful, try again during next walk and start at 1. | |
Otherwise, proceed to 3. | |
3. Upon acquisition of ball, announce the commencement of COVID Ball | |
by stating verbally in the spirit of Wayne and Garth from the | |
Wayne's World comedy sketches/films: | |
"Game on, Wayne! Game on, Garth!"[1] | |
4. Continue with daily walk while kicking the ball throughout the | |
park. It is advised not to touch the ball with your hands or | |
run the risk of infection/contamination. | |
5. The game is complete when the ball arrives at your starting point, | |
at which point you put your hands up in the air and exclaim, | |
"YATTA!" like Hiro Nakamura from the Heroes TV show that ran from | |
2006-2010.[2] | |
Should you lose the ball at any point after step 3, the game is | |
over. The following declaration should be verbally announced, in the | |
spirit of Private First Class William L. Hudson of the 1986 film, | |
Aliens: | |
"That's it, man! Game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we | |
gonna do now? What are we gonna do?" | |
NOTE: Use of the colorful metaphor is optional and discouraged | |
within an earshot of minors. | |
Scoring is as follows: | |
Successful completion of game (#5) = 100 points | |
with inflated ball = +10 points | |
with tennis ball = +25 points | |
with racquet ball = +30 points | |
with softball = +35 points | |
with baseball = +40 points | |
with gorf ball = +50 points | |
with shuttle cock = +75 points | |
with unlisted ball = +25 points and +25 points for discovery. | |
__________ | |
[1] Wayne's World | |
[2] Heroes (American TV series) | |
[3] Aliens (film) | |
20210422 - edit: updated footnotes to links. | |
p.s. Audio/Visual: | |
$ finger [email protected] | |
[baud.vision] | |
Brainscan | |
baud.vision information | |
baud.vision playing right now | |
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