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Stardate: 20200915.2204 | |
Location: Game Room / COVID-19 Office | |
Input Device: fuchikoma (RPi4) | |
Audio: Covenant - Dreams of a Cryotank | |
Visual: Daimos wallpaper | |
Emotional State: Bleh. | |
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"What usually has the strongest psychic effect on the child is the | |
life which the parents...have not lived." - Carl Jung | |
I saw this quote in the book, "Finding Meaning In The Second Half of | |
Life," by James Hollis, PhD. It is at the top of chapter 6, "The | |
Family During the Second Half of Life." I found this quote to be | |
interesting. It had me thinking about my family of origin and my | |
current immediate family, extended family, in-laws and out-laws. | |
There were some other quotes that has me ruminating: | |
"How often we see the burden placed on the child to emulate the | |
parent's values, achieve some goal, be it attending the right school, | |
marrying the right person, finding the right career. If the child | |
does otherwise, he or she frequently feels contaminated by failure or | |
guilt, and if the child complies with the parent's stated or implicit | |
choices, then he or she has been diverted into living someone else's | |
life." | |
The dilema: | |
"Please my parents and die within, or live my separate journey and | |
lose their love." | |
"...how many parents do you know who are strong enough to free their | |
child, to love unconditionally, to give ready permission to the child | |
to be who he or she is? How many children have the genuine security | |
to pursue the life they desire to lead, and know they will be | |
supported, even if the parent might prefer other choices...What | |
remains unconscious in the parent, however well intended the parent | |
is, is what will be transmitted to the child and remain a continuing | |
obstacle to a fuller life." | |
I find it interesting looking at what traits have been passed on from | |
each family system and each generation. From my current vantage | |
point, I have been looking more into the traits of my grandparents, | |
my parents, my sibling, and my children from my current immediate | |
blood line. I see some patterns that have been passed along as well | |
as some patterns that have transformed or have halted entirely. | |
When I add my wife's side of the family into the mix, it makes for | |
even more interesting questions and ruminations...how these family | |
members were as children and as parents or adults. How things get | |
passed along and inherited. How these things can become a burden and | |
even define a life. How the cycle continues on downstream. | |
I think I'll have to put a pause on this one. It's getting to me. | |
"My heart can't contain the missing fragments of memories." | |
-Skinny Puppy | |
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