[=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=] | |
[<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>] | |
[=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=] | |
Stardate: 20200124.1933 | |
Location: mutated_labs | |
Input Device: Gemini PDA via Steam Box (ono-sendai) | |
Audio: anonradio.net Open Mic | |
Visual: Misc. lab clutter | |
Energy: 60% | |
Mental: 60% | |
Emotional: Split between Friday night exhaustion and Friday night | |
gotta do something! | |
[=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=] | |
OK, I gotta write something before I get pulled into something else. | |
I have too many half started/finished entries that I have not posted. | |
It bugs me but I guess that's just the nature of things right now. | |
So be it. | |
I had a 5-day weekend last weekend and spent a couple hours | |
meditating at an ashram by the ocean. It was very grounding and | |
brought me back to the here and now. I need to do more of that. I | |
think it is very helpful with my absentmindedness and my mental | |
availability to others and of this existence. | |
Afterwards, I went to the mountains and did some hiking. That's one | |
of the things I like about living in SoCal. You can go to the ocean, | |
you can go to the city, you can go to the mountains, you can go all | |
kinds of places in one day...depending on traffic and how you plan | |
your day. Where I grew up, the options were pretty flat and slim. | |
So I'm walking around the mountains, just kinda there, looking at | |
the sky, the trees, the nature of it all. There was cloud cover and | |
I think there was rain in the forecast. I was feeling a bit chilly | |
with the wind and had to move around. | |
There was a big oak tree up ahead that had its branches growing | |
downward convering around the trunk and providing some shelter. I | |
walked over and took refuge. | |
Under the tree, I was just zoning out on everything probably because | |
of all the stress and being on call, etc. It felt like I melded | |
with everything and all the crap leading to that moment just | |
dissipated. I sat on a bench underneath the big oak tree and just | |
melted. | |
A bit after, I sensed being called, you know, the kind that is not | |
like being called audibly, rather, you are being summoned by nature | |
or some kind of instinct or something. This happens to me sometimes | |
and I know other people that this happens to as well. (No, I am not | |
a weirdo sometimes...and so am I.) When this happens, there is | |
something I am supposed to see or experience or some kind of message. | |
I walked out past the branches and into the clearing and saw this | |
big beam of light breaking through the clouds. It was breathtaking | |
and I was mesmerized. The light looked like it was searching and | |
scanning. Next there were more beams of light searching and scanning. | |
And then eventually, I was found! The beam of light warmed my soul | |
and brought about a feeling of love and affirmation, that yeah, I am | |
perfectly me as I am...at that moment in time...as I have always been. | |
Here are some souvenir pics and video I took: | |
Pics | |
Sun searching... | |
[=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=-=x=] |