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Stardate: 20191215.1343 | |
Location: Weekly Farmer's Market | |
Input Device: AlphaSmart dana.wireless | |
Software: AlphaWord | |
Audio: a young lady busking xmas music with her guitar. | |
Visual: Farmer's Market People, coffee | |
Emotional State: Surviving, -5 pts for low-grade depression | |
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My neighbor past either last night or this morning. I found | |
out from my daughter, who found out from my wife early this | |
morning. I was wondering why she was practicing the piano so | |
early in the morning, especially since she had stopped taking | |
lessons about 6+ months ago. | |
Our neighbor was called Juju and she was the teacher of piano | |
for my children, as well as other people's children. She | |
will be missed and I will play the piano for her when I get | |
home. | |
I was not so close to Juju. I would say hi to her whenever I | |
saw her, but that was about it. I feel sad. Her husband and | |
her dog are left next door and I want to offer my | |
condolencses, but I am not too sure on the etiquette or | |
timing with them. | |
It's funny how a death can shake things up in people's lives. | |
Not just for the people directly involved, but the people who | |
knew and loved that person. I am no stranger to death, but | |
it has always been something difficult. It is probably that | |
way by design. | |
So this death of Juju has me switching gears some in my own | |
trajectory. I look at where I have come from and where I | |
have been heading in the immediate and it all seems petty, | |
self-centered, and self-absorbed. I have been so | |
self-focused and catering to my "needs" that I get lost in | |
the survival of it instead of the experience of it all and I | |
become a bit absent emotionally. It probably wouldn't be so | |
bad, if I was all by myself and alone, but I do have family | |
and friends that care about me as I do them. And I should be | |
present for them. | |
So in the next few weeks prior to changing out the 2019 | |
calendar, I will be slowing down, taking inventory of the | |
past year, and planning for the months to come in 2020. The | |
practice of being present and sustaining this practice will | |
be in the forefront. This should help bump up my emotional | |
state points. | |
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