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Stardate: 20181205.23h54
Location: Kitchen
Input Device: AlphaSmart dana.wireless
Audio: the drizzle and rain from outside
Visual: Kitchen table, placemat with bamboo print, table
cloth with fruit print, mug 'o green tea.
Energy: 50%
Mental: 60%
Emotional: There is annoyance and frustration, rushed.
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It is almost midnight and I find myself trying to rush
through and do all of the stuff I wanted to do tonight. But
I am short on time, as usual. I did get in a full hour of
practice with my guitar. It was only supposed to be 0.5
hours, but I kept playing even though I did set the alarm.
That happens sometimes. I get warmed up and in a groove and
I can't put it down. I had to force myself after an hour. I
try to play at least 5 times a week for 30 minutes, but
lately, I have only been practicing 2 or 3 times. I should
practice more. My playing is starting to get a little sloppy
and it takes me longer to warm up.
There was a link to an article that has been on my mind that
was posted on mastodon. I had read the article but did not
remember who posted it and forgot to add it as a favorite. I
tried searching for it, but did not find it, so I scrolled
back. I found it from 2 days ago. It was posted by
Willow@salixlucida . The title of the article is, "Why our
sense of time speeds up as we age - and how to slow it down."
[1] It basically touched on a few factors, like how 1 year
to a child is a long time compared to an adult who has been
here much longer, or like how the child's neural network is
still developing and an adult is already in place, etc. It
didn't go too deep, but had me thinking again about my
experience with the perception of time.
I have noticed that my perception of time has changed over
the years. I don't know too much about it, but I find it
curious. Before, summers used to last forever and it took
forever for the school year to end. I had time to get bored
and sometimes enjoyed the times being bored, especially
looking back on those times now. These days, I'm super busy
and have no time to be bored. Or am I just super distracted?
Maybe that's something to ruminate over later.
Anyhow, especially since the year is coming to a close (25
more days?) I start thinking of the passage of time and what
had transpired over the past 365 days. I'm not quite ready
to go there just yet, but in thinking of the upcoming
closure of 2018 has me wondering what happend to 2007...and
the time since then? It just whizzes by and it seems faster
with each year that passes by. There is a sense of sadness
for me. Not sure why it is sad. Maybe because I am not
experiencing the moments like I did when I had time to be
bored or experiencing everlasting summers or whatever. Maybe
the super distractions are keeping me from getting back to
those moments. Actually, I take that back. I do experience
those moments, but they are not as frequent and the duration
is shorter.
The article mentioned how learning new things can help slow
things down. I do experience this quite a bit, especially
working in the tech industry and computers/electronics being
a hobby of mine. I am always learning new things and the
technology keeps evolving. Also, playing the guitar or any
musical instrument seems to help slow it down as well.
Timing is a big part of music. For me, doing creative things
seem to help, whether it be fabricating some ghetto project
in my garage or having my head deep in creating code. Maybe
it's that hyperfocussed state as well. The one where you're
in the zone and you seem to have transcended the laws of
conventional space and time....like that Start Trek TNG
episode where the Picard ends up living a whole separate
lifetime in the span of one episode and he learns from that
lady how to stretch space and time. (sorry, I forgot the
details or which episode. I'm sure someone in gopherspace
knows. Please revoke my Star Trek card now.)
Looking at the activities I just mentioned, most of those are
solitary pursuits for me. That makes sense since I am an
introvert. I do enjoy my time alone and tend to recharge
that way. Being around people drains me and I have to be in
the right mood or have enough physical and mental bandwidth
to be around them. I do like people, just in limited doses
and under the right conditions (for myself.) I should stop
now and rest.
[1]
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-our-sense-time-speeds-we-age-how-slow-it-ncna936351
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