If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', what's the opposite of progress?
~
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
~
Nobody conforms anymore, it's not the thing to do.
~
Microsoft will without a doubt make sure it works best on
windows.. that is assuming that it will work though.
~
Descended from the apes! My dear, let us hope that it is no true, but
that if it is, let us pray that it will not become generally known!
~
Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
~
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
~
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
~
Netscape has performed an illegal operation? Cooool, it must be
taking the blame for .. er, never mind..
~
Sovereignty Association: Being independant while living at home and
having your parents pay all your bills.
~
Live everyday like your last.. and tell your friends you'll pay them
back tomorrow.
~
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
~
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
~
This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot!
~
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
~
He's so dense light bends around him.
~
Life is like a box of milk chocolates, it goes sour if not used.
~
"All weapons systems fully functional, cloaking device avalible in
all flight modes."
"That's a low of work for a short voyage.."
"We are in an enemy vessel sir, we don't want to get shot down going
to our funeral."
"Yes yes.."
~
I really don't want much, just perfection.
~
Give a man a fish and ya feed him for a day. Teach him how to use the
net and he'll leave you alone.
~
Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day.
~
Root beer: Because alcohol can cause a mistyped `rm` command.
~
"For the world is hollow.. and I have touched the sky!"
~
In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of
people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams
~
I can't be running people over! I'm not famous enough to get away
with it.
~
You jerk! I thought I was your best friend! What kind of two-timing
kill-mobile are you?!
~
How am I supposed to hallicinate with all these swirling colors
distracting me?
Lisa Simpson
~
I tell that blowhard Kirk that the engines will blow. They can take
twice the load he's asking for. I just like to make him sweat.
Scotty
~
I bet my PHB $50 that I could walk on water. I left the ice rink $50
richer.
~
You're gonna marry me! We're gonna elope. Just as soon as I finish
this sandwich.
~
"There are three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and
the Max Power way!"
"Isn't that the wrong way?"
"Yeah, but faster!"
Max Power (Homer Simpson)
~
"I thought you said you took science at 'A' level."
"I didn't say I passed."
~
Look, try and use your intelligence, man, even if you are a
politician.
~
"And it's number 4, in a quantum finish!"
"No fair, you changed the ourcome by measuring it!"
~
"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all
children. Morphine is bad for you."
Eric Draven, The Crow
~
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as
an inexhaustible well, and yet everything happens only a certain
number of times... How many more times will you remember a certain
afternoon of your childhood... that is so deeply a part of your being
you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps not even
that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps,
twenty. And yet it all seems limitless."
Paul Bowle's novel 'The Sheltering Sky'
~
For those who refuse to understand, no explanation will ever
suffice. For those who refuse to believe, no evidence will ever
suffice.
~
Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the
land of the free.
~
You should slip into something more comfortable. Like a coma.
~
Now? Now is all we have.
~
Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is trying to sell
something.
The Dread Pirate Roberts
~
Death is a primitive concept. I perfer to think of them as battling
evil... in another dimension!
Grieg, The Last Starfighter
~
"One ship against the entire armada!? It'll be a slaughter!"
"That's the spirit!"
"No, MY slaughter!"
~
"You've heard of him?"
"No, I've never heard of him. Well, that's not exactly true. We were
like brothers."
Airplane II
~
"These lights keep blinking out of sequence. What should we do?"
"Make them blink in sequence."
"Yes sir!"
Airplane II
~
"Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We've all got our switches
lights and knobs to deal with Striker. I mean, down here, there are
literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing
lights, blinking and beeping and flashing their flashing and their
beeping and I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. THEY'RE BLINKING AND BEEPING
AND..."
Airplane II
~
Fate, it seems, it not without a sense of irony.
Morpheus, The Matrix
~
So you see, you can't be dead. You can't be dead, because I love
you. I love you. Now get up!
Trinity, The Matrix
~
"You ever met anyone you didn't kill?"
"Well I haven't killed you yet."
Leathal Weapon
~
I don't make things complicated. Things just get that way all by
themselves.
Sgt. Riggs, Leathal Weapon
~
If you're telling me the truth about lying, you're fired! And if
you're lying about lying, then you're fired!
~
Of course I'm afraid. Do you think I'm reluctant because I'm happy?
Robert De Niro, Ronin
~
We're both extremists. Reality is probably somewhere in the middle.
Kirk, ST6
~
You'll get my 1024 bit private key when you pry it out of my cold
dead Palm.
~
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicy, dangerous animals and you
know it.
K
~
Wayne: But we're riding a humungoid caffeine and sugar buzz. I mean,
I could bend spoons with my mind!
Jan. 19, 1991, SNL Skit
~
Let me tell you about life. Around every corner there are
monsters. Trust me, I am one.
Dr. Smith, Lost in Space
~
A brief lesson in survival, on this world or any other one: Never
trust anyone, especially me.
Dr. Smith, Lost in Space
~
The time prophet predicted that I would destroy the league of 20,000
planets. Someday. But not today. For today is my day of death. The
beginning of our story.
Kai, Lexx
~
We give thanks to His Divine Shadow, for his ceaseless vigilance,
protecting our universe of light and order from the chaos and disorder
of the Dark Zone.
Lexx
~
You are wanted for immediate termination. Please return our weapons.
Lexx
~
This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Yet's not all bicker and
argue about who killed who...
~
Take caution in this sector, there is a citizen riot in progress.
~
Eat recycled food. Recycled food is good for the environment, and ok
for you.
~
"Why did you judge me?"
"You killed innocent people."
"A means to an end."
"You started a masscre."
"I caused a revolution."
"You betrayed the law!'
Judge Dredd and his brother
~
"But... what's an 'eff ay cue'?"
"Look pal, are you being deliberately recursive?!"
User Friendly, Oct 13 2001
~
Only reason to live is to write good code. What is wrong with you?
Pitr
~
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance? Maybe. But the price of
excessive vigilance is civil liberty. Definately.
~
Besides, the determined Real Programmer can write FORTRAN programs in
any language.
'Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal'
~
Make it right before you make it faster. Keep it right when you make
it faster. Make it clear before you make it faster. Keep it simple to
make it faster.
The Elements of Programming Style
~
When I have a house, I'd rather own my house and take the problems
than rent it. And I think the same is true about software.
Linus Torvalds
~
I have a headache. Why don't you just chop it off for me?
~
One of my crew got himself perished.
T-Bird, The Crow
~
Under Capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's the other
way around.
~
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them
tolerable, I tolerate them. If I find them too obnoxious, I beam
them. I am free because I know that I alone am responsible for
everything I do.
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, 1966
~
I like to compare the anthrax infection rate to the suicide rate.
And then compare the press coverage.
The more something happens, the less important it becomes.
So the only way to stop hearing about anthrax is if we all get it.
Alex Beckers <
[email protected]>
alt.bitterness
~
Math illiteracy strikes 8 out of 5 people.
~
If a thousand suns were to rise together one morning, that light
would be a little like the glory of the Lord, for I am become Death,
the shatterer of worlds.
J. Robert Oppenheimer, quoting the Bhagavad Gita
~
"Why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?"
"Because Charlie, she's a nit wit."
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
~
"Some people do have extra sensory perception."
"I knew you were going to say that."
MASH
~
It may be that fate is a more complex program than we imagined.
Fong, Reboot
~
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion,
butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance
accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders,
give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new
problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight
effectively, and die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.
"Time Enough for Love", Robert Heinlein.
~
Mary was an unwed teenage mother.
~
In my mind, life is already TOO convenient.
~
It's got a great septic tank. Right next to the well. We never run
out of water. Would you like a cup of coffee?
Mike, from Canmore
~
I like my species the way it is!
Lt. Worf
~
I love her, I hate her, I want her to die.
~
"I love tractors and helicopters and computers and hunting decoys
and especially drill bits." (sickly smile) "And I love you."
(pause.. inwardly troubled look) "Though not necessarily in that
order." (troubled, sotto) "Drill bits..."
'25 ways not to tell someone that you're in love with them'
www.everything2.com
~
If you're not paranoid, you just haven't been paying attention.
