Subj : Rules Of The Radio
To : All
From : Daryl Stout
Date : Sun Sep 03 2017 10:39 am
Rules of Radio -- Found on the internet
VE9DAN, Oyster River, NB. Rev 1. June 1/97
1) There shall be no talking by the family during a QSO.
2) The XYL shall assist with antenna construction when
and only when required.
3) The shack budget will take precedence over all other
incidental items such as mortgages, food, echoes, etc.
4) Christmas stocking stuffers for the OM must include
at least two items for the shack (total value of not less
than $300).
5) Flea markets, hamfests, and field days over-rule
family holidays.
6) Furry pets are not allowed near the rig
(except for testing purposes).
7) TVI never occurs within the home, or if it does, is
negligible and does not count.
8) All trees around QTH shall be considered antenna
supports, and not "greenery", "landscaping", or other
such nonsense.
Corollary: Any tree may be cut down, pruned, poisoned,
dug up, or otherwise removed should it be in the
way of wire.
9) The last postage stamp and envelope in the home
shall be reserved for direct QSL mailings, and not
for personnal letters, bills, or mail orders
(unless orders are for shack).
10) Any number of holes may be drilled in the family
car to accommodate mobile whips.
Corollary: Coax may droop across the steering column
occaisionally.
11) Never herewith shall insurance coverage of shack
items be less than triple the replacement value,
notwithstanding acts of God.
12) Burger King must never allow the holy whopper
oven to cool.
13) Newly licensed hams must honour, praise, look up to,
ask easy questions of, and purchase coffee for, old guys.
14) The XYL shall anticipate good band propagation
conditions at all times, and whenever rare DX flows in,
she shall without fail;
a) keep log when requested;
b) hold all phone calls - except those from other hams;
c) call the OM's work QTH the next morning and cover
his absence with a good excuse;
d) appear very excited;
e) change all her plans to suit;
f) provide steaming coffee at 45 minute intervals;
g) cancel all household chores, and in particular,
cancel vacuuming.
15) All materials owned by the work QTH can and will
be used for ham projects.
16) These rules may be modified at any time, without
notice, to continuously be in the OM's best interest.
17) The most recent licensee must beareth the brunt of our
collective teasing until the next new licensee fills his
humiliated shoes.
18) All members of all radio clubs must support, in
unsurpassed vigor and cooperation, whatever the resident
"contest man" suggests-ith.
19) Whence OM bears unrelentless fright of tower height,
others must climbeth said structure unfailingly upon
request.
20) Refer longstanding rule #15. Verily, if you cannot
convince work QTH to donateth items for thine shack,
thou shalt quit said dispicable workplace without notice.
Simply QRT-eth hastily-eth.
21) New rule added by Rich, WB2MBM, August 11/97 via pactor:
I'd like to add a rule to the list... "Coax cables
may be routed to achieve the lowest loss, regardless of
whether they cause doors, windows, etc., to be blocked or
otherwise not to function. And if the house appears to be
trapped in a sort of rubber "spider's web," that's a
plus rather than a minus."
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