Subj : Re: Turning Life Arou 1/2
To : METALHEAD
From : Daryl Stout
Date : Tue Apr 14 2020 11:25 pm
M> DS> Too many people need to do that, nowadays. I long for the days when
M> DS> life's pace was slower, and you didn't have folks at each other throats.
M>I feel that way all the time! How extreme is it for you?
OK, you asked for it. <G>
First, three years ago, I had to become my Mom's caregiver, then ended
up putting her first into the hospital, and eventually into a nursing
home. I had to become her Power Of Attorney, and with the help of
Arkansas Asset Protection Group, got everything financially set up.
Basically, all of her monetary assets had to be cashed out, and put into
a Miller Trust...to cover the $5500+ a month nursing home fee. My
younger brother wanted nothing to do with that, so all of that fell on
my shoulders.
Then, I ended up moving out from H.U.D. subsidized housing for the
disabled in West Little Rock, to move back home. I had moved out from
home (where I'm back at now...more on that in a moment), when I got
married in 2003. Tragically, my wife died of a heart attack at 48 years
old, 3 weeks shy of our 4th anniversary. Since I became disabled during
our marriage, I was able to stay out there. My Dad had died from
pancreatic cancer 2 1/2 months before my wife died...it's coming up on
the 13th anniversary of her passing...and I know I'll be a basket case
that day.
But, with the funding I was to get from the Miller Trust after her
death, I had to move out of there, and move back home...because it
would've put me over the limit, and I would've been evicted. So, by
moving out when I did, I do so on my terms, and am welcome to come back
there to visit residents.
I had a fellow ham radio operator and his 2 sons, move me with UHaul,
basically across town, for $500. However, I lost 95% of my furniture in
the move, as there was no room for it here...so he, his wife, and his
sons, got all the stuff I couldn't move over here. Much of the stuff is
STILL in the garage here. All my friends with my hobbies work, and have
a family. Medical wise, it's hard to get a driver, because my brother
was nearly killed in a freak motorcycle wreck nearly 3 months after my
wife died.
So, I ended up putting my Mom in a nursing home in Lonoke, about an
hour east of Little Rock...but it was cheaper than in Pulaski County. In
mid-July last year, the staff told me "her body was shutting down", and
I needed to put her into hospice...3 weeks later, she was gone...less
than a month before her 93rd birthday.
The funeral was delayed nearly 2 weeks, as the funeral home was so
busy with other funerals on the schedule. My brothers former high school
classmates being there, was great therapy for him...as he has always had
a hard time with mortality, his, his friends, animals, or otherwise. He
didn't recognize one of the women, who had married another classmate.
She told him "Dank (his nickname), I got fat...and you got old!!" Talk
about a shot across the bow!! I'll tell of one my late wife did to me
later in the message.
Then, 2 months after her death, field rats (rodents) found their way
in the house...and I had to call Terminix to remove the items soiled by
the droppings, and to rodent proof the place. Thankfully, I had gotten
some money upon her death to pay the huge bill...but they are coming by
weekly to treat things. Rats are smart and cautious, while mice are
curious and stupid. And, with a lack of winter here the last 3 years,
many areas are having to deal with them. I haven't seen evidence of them
in a couple of weeks, but they first showed up 6 months ago. It will
take awhile to get rid of them, but hopefully, it won't be as bad as
COVID-19 has been for so many areas.
If this wasn't enough, I had to have bladder stone removal surgery 3
days after her death...and again 2 months ago. Plus, back in December,
2018, they discovered an umbilical hernia...which has grown since then.
So, once COVID-19 settles out (Arkansas isn't doing as bad as some
states), I've got laparoscopic surgery on the horizon.
Then, to add insult to injury (more like salt in the wound), I suspect
an update from Microsoft Windows crashed Internet Rex, so I had to shut
the BBS down for 6 weeks...because we then had nearly nonstop
thunderstorms through March. We've had tornadoes, large hail, high
winds, and flooding rain (this is the stormiest I've seen in the nearly
43 years living in Arkansas)...but by comparison to other states, we've
had "a glancing blow"...especially with the tornado outbreak on Easter.
I finally got things working again, with a short lull in the weather.
Basically, "On the extreme, I rest my case". :P
M>I find existing to be difficult at times. Sometimes, I swear, people don't
M>even want me to exist, so often I'm trying to 'exist less' around people,
M>depending on the situation.
My hopes have been crushed so many times, and some trips I had planned
to "get away from things for a time", had to be cancelled...because of
finances, my Mom's funeral, and now for both COVID-19, and that hernia.
It is very hard for me to have a positive outlook anymore, and it's only
by the Grace Of God that I'm even sane right now. The hobbies of the
BBS, ham radio, and square dance publications, are keeping me busy, but
(Continued to next message)
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