A quick post before I go back to making a mess of my car,
attempting various servicing tasks. Somehow the ones I've done many
times before never seem to come free of mistakes for me. If
anything I fall into the trap of over-confidence and mess things up
even more.
Having finished a day's spanner-hammering, hair bathed in dirt and
oil, I'm still going back to reading Seven Pillars of Wisdom. I'm
near the end now, in the last "book", although reading less
frequently because the weather has become too cold to sit upright
for reading on most nights. So of course, head filled with
knowledge of guerrilla warfare and camel husbandry, I'm looking to
the next book on which to feast my eyes.
Continuing in the spirit of adventure I was thinking of The Kontiki
Expedition, in part just so I can finally watch the movie since
I've skipped it when shown on TV in order to read the book first.
However as academically interesting as these non-finction works
are, I wonder if reading them serves me best. I already avoid
fictional works in order to gain some true knowledge of the world
from my reading, but really how far does this knowledge advance me?
To someone with the security of wealth it's an equal advancement to
obtain any such accurate knowledge, yet here I seem to struggle
with every practical task I set myself. With tasks I set myself in
order to make money, and as often with tasks I must complete myself
due to no capacity for spending money (or skill in finding paid
people to do what I want properly anyway).
In many things it's not a problem simply solved by reading. I've
read a book on welding, yet it's clear I'll need much physical
practice to figure out MIG welding thin metals, once I finally
stump up the cash for the equipment that I've delayed buying all
year (the shielding gas is a real pain). But for cars at least
there are voluminous texts aimed at non-professionals. In
particular I picked up for $2 at a garage sale parts of an
excessively-long subscription series called On The Road, which
swerves its way randomly through many detailed DIY car servicing
topics from the general to the excessively specific. This should be
a fine candidate for material I can profitably read rather than
tales of 20th century adventure.
But even then, am I missing the point? If I'm bending my recreation
time to serve me for learning tasks I can't afford to pay for,
should I go further and spend all available time towards gaining
knowledge I can use to make money. For my big website idea I'd
surely benefit from a full rounded understanding of different
database designs and architectures. Much as it's a rude word here
on Gopher, AI is something I'll need to look closely into for it as
well. Shouldn't I spend all my time reading up on these topics?
Really, yeah. But the entertainment value then is largely gone.
Maybe I can sort-of get into that, but I'd be more into reading
about electronics (old fashioned computer-free electronics) or
mechanics. Unlike those, database theory and AI aren't something I
start reading out of my own natural inclination, they're topics I
rationalise myself to thinking I _should_ read up on. But maybe
avoiding that is the failure of my life, in thinking I can make
money within a niche of activity that I really enjoy. That's a lie
tought in youth; it doesn't apply to unsociable people like me
unless they're very lucky, and I'm evidently not. I'm sure I'm not
alone, ruthlessness in business must often be motivated by a desire
to escape from this world of self enslavement, into that wealthy
ideal where one can indulge in academic recreations without fear of
missing practical opportunities.
But which is right and which is wrong? Is it the need for wealth
which is my illusion? Should I adandon myself to fate while
indulging in academic thoughts regardless of wealth or future?
Should I abandon personal desire to try and transform my interests
to serve a society that I don't myself wish to emulate. Or the
middle ground of trying to sacrifice the former to make up for the
shortfall of the latter by skillfully sustaining myself in ways
most people aren't able to. The choice of book becomes a choice of
life. The middle road (and therefore "On The Road") appeals to me
most, I being a sucker for compromise, but without much conviction
that it's correct.
