My intollerance for my own failures is one thing that doesn't fit
so well with my determination for self-employment. A change to a
circuit board design aimed at reducing cost was made, as the result
of much consideration and testing. Long story short, because of the
revision the PCB manufacturer took another look at the design, and
has this time decided that one of the features that I _didn't_
change demands extra cost. Pointing out this inconsistency only
wasted a week while they went in circles, to arrive at an even
higher cost increase, and the delay is quite inconvenient right now
as well.
I'd re-ordered the old design four times without them applying any
extra charges. If I'd just left the damn thing alone then it
probably would have gone through at the normal cost and without
delay, just because they wouldn't have re-checked it.
These sort of frustrations put me into a distracted mental state
that really stuffs up my ability to focus on things for the rest of
the day, which is all day today seeing as the email came through
overnight. I can see I'll have to find some mind-numbing repetitive
job for myself today, because with the more creative things that I
had planed I'll just end up staring into space, my mind busy
condemning itself in an endless loop.
"Why am I always attempting to achieve things in life? If I just
sat on the couch and waited to die then I'd never have these damn
troubles." - At times like these I always seem to go back to this
statement. I've never found an adequate answer to it, but it
somehow keeps me going anyway.
