There's been a bit of a gap so far as my usual phlog posting
frequency goes. Frankly I've been in a grump since my last phlog
post on the 15th. I hate being manipulated into something I don't
want to do and suffering the negative consequences that I feared.
It's no doubt one reason why I like to keep some distance in
friendships, particularly while growing up (well it's not like I've
really had friendships that threaton to become close like that
since adulthood anyway), but that alone is certainly no escape.
What's pissed me off this time is that second dose of the Pfizer
vaccine, where it turned out I got all the negative side effects on
the list and felt worse than I ever remember (I don't really
remember things going back more than a few years though).
Now I'm sure it's nothing compared to a bad case of the virus
itself, but the thing is that I haven't got sick like that for
about ten years, through (since increased) deliberate techniques
and mainly by not having frequent interaction with other people
since leaving school. So there's some definite irony to all this to
begin with. Then there's the point that the idea of second doses
was originally presented as only necessary for the Astra* vaccine -
I hung out for the Pfizer which supposably had much higher
effectiveness with the first dose. But by the time I can actually
get it, the government has looming deadlines requiring two doses of
whatever vaccine within a month and a half. Just like the reports
of deaths from vaccine side effects suddenly disappeared from the
media once the (continuing, but now also hardly reported)
umpteenth-wave started, they didn't quote the numbers behind their
decision to require two doses for Pfizer even though it didn't seem
necessary based on the original data.
So the thing that gets me is that based on the data I'd seen I
would have definately just gone for the one dose, got over my sore
arm and bad night's sleep, and been done with it, based on my
personal assessment of risk vs reward. But no, if I'd just done
that I'd be unable to go to resteraunts, bars, non-essential
retail, events, etc. etc. etc. under the current laws. So I got
bullied into the second dose, which as it turned out within a few
hours into the second day (after a completely sleepless night) had
me on the couch in a feaver getting dizzy just from turning my head
on the pillow, then an even worse night (fever and pains all over,
including my chest which they said meant I should see a doctor but
I chose to take my chances in preference to fucking about trying to
get into town for that), and five more days until I finally felt
alright again. Though after about the third day I was unsure
whether I'd just been stupid and lethargic all my life. I had the
jab on a Monday as well, so one day off work (uncompensated of
course, because I'm self-employed), and another four where I was
trying to work but stuffing up everything I touched.
Anyway, with over 24 hours awake (insomnia like that is new to me
as well) thinking mainly about all this while feeling terrible,
it's set me pretty solidly in a grump. I'm not inclined to jump
right over to an anti-vaccine stance, though with lots of talk
about a damn third dose that might only be a matter of time (as it
happens my father decided not to take the vaccine, we never
discussed the topic, though I've now become pretty sympathetic
through experience). But it just pisses me off, with myself more
than anything, for allowing myself to be manipulated into it in the
first place. My anger with myself is always the most powerful anger
- I expect most people are like that but they don't admit it to
themselves.
Also you're expected to show your proof of vaccination on your
smartphone, which I don't have/want. Just like the damn QR code
check-in which has me requesting paper forms to sign all over the
place, I now have to wander around with a paper vaccine
certificate. What size is that certificate? Why, A4 of course! How
the hell is that practical for anyone!? I shrunk it down to about
25% and taped it to some cardboard which means it can fit in my top
shirt pocket and doesn't slip under things, but shrinking it down
to the obvious card-size where it would fit in my wallet with
everything else leaves the text unreadably small.
There's a certain willful impracticality to it which feels very
discriminatory even after I've gone and sacrificed a potentially
happy week for the gov's neat and tidy "two jabs for everyone"
policy. Anyway nobody's asked to see it so far - it turns out in
practice I never go anywhere 'non-essential' anyway. Though the
fire brigade requires it, for any members who plan to really do
anything.
