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When Somebody Else Gives You Christmas [1]

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Date: 2022-12-23

It happened a long time ago, but never so long as to be forgotten. I’d been divorced about a year, worked a long hours, low wage job, and had recently had child support checks discontinued. Permanently, it turned out, though we didn’t know it yet, but so recently I got turned down for food stamps. Simply applying was so mortifying an experience I cried all the way through, so the denial was just the topper. I never did go back.

I was living in a mobile home with three young children, and all of us were just starting to recover from that abusive marriage. I’d look at my kids and notice they were standing straighter, breathing more freely. It would take longer with me. I could barely bring myself to talk about that either, so unless my kids talked about it, nobody knew. My parents did, and helped a little when they could, but they were retired themselves with a limited budget.

Christmas was approaching, and I had to brace myself to let our kids know it wasn’t going to be full of presents from me or Santa, and there wasn’t going to be a big feast to celebrate that year. We’d probably go to my parent’s house for a big meal and so they could enjoy the kids, but that was about it.

One of my kids must have said something to the kids in the family across the street from us. One day just before Christmas their Mom showed up at our door with bags containing a toy for each child, a couple sets of warm clothing for each of the kids in their sizes, and enough food to feed us well for over a week. She explained that she worked for a nearby hospital, and each year the hospital picked out a family in the community (or more — I wasn’t thinking clearly right then to ask) to sponsor for Christmas. That year we’d been selected!

I was such an emotional jumble of embarrassment and gratitude, I could barely compose myself to give an adequate “Thank You” to our benefactor. I did make up for it by writing a semi-anonymous letter to the hospital a couple weeks later letting them know how much their generosity was appreciated. The fact that nothing had been wrapped was totally insignificant, and the youngest declared that he knew Santa wasn’t real anyway and it was nice that he didn’t have to unwrap anything, and even got it all a couple days early. (Who taught these kids manners anyway?)

In the nearly 40 years that have passed, that generosity has never been forgotten. It still makes me tear up every time I remember. It was our bleakest moment and our most blessed by generosity. It has kept me giving what I can when I can, because I know how much it can mean. I’m sharing this because I want you all to know that the anonymous gifts you give to people you don’t know and may never meet or get thanked by actually do have meaning, and may even spur them to pay it forward without hope of acknowledgement or reward once they are able. For all of you who have done so, THANK YOU!

Now I need to go find another tissue. While I sniff and blow, please feel free to share your Christmas giving/receiving story below.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/23/2143407/-When-Somebody-Else-Gives-You-Christmas

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