--------------------( w0ol #10: big smelly dogs are my heroes and stuff)-----

y'know, i always did love big smelly dogs.  they love me too.  y'know what i
mean?  'cuz one day i was jus' walkin' along, and this big'ol dog started
barkin' at me, and i shouted something at it like "DAMN YOU BIG ASS DOG!#
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?#!"

then the owner of the dog came and and said something like "WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH *YOU*, FEWLIO?!##!  MY DOG HAS DONE YOU NO HARM#!#!#!"

and i said something like "BITCH YOUR BITCH DOG OVER THERE BARKED AT ME AND
I WANT MY MONEY BACK!##!%%#!"

and she said something like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DIDN'T
GIVE ME ANY MONEY!#%*(&%#!(*)&%#"

and so i whipped out my gun and shot the dog in the leg.  i felt a little
guilty about that, but it was the owner's fault.  for being such a bitch.

and so she got all upset, and then she was afraid of me 'cuz i had a gun
and i was IN POWER NOW#!%%!#  so i reloaded and said "i'm gonna go ballistick
on your kneecaps if you don't give me my money back."

and she said "shit, man, i don't know what your talking about.  i know
ballistick is some lamur who now is creed and writes for some bad 'zine, but
you ain't given me any money, how da shit am i 'posed to give it back?"

so i shot the sorry bitch.  'cuz she wouldn't give me any money.

----------------------( hoe )------------------------------------------------

that's a great zine

------------------------------------( no, the lady was a hoe )---------------

yeah, she even tried to sell herself to me for money.

bitch.

----( carrots )--------------------------------------------------------------

       %%%%%%
       \carr/
        \ot/  -- that's a bad picture of a carrot
         \/

--------------------------------( ode to carrots, by me )--------------------

carrots, carrots
how i love them so
i think they're eleet
and they know...

..that carrots, carrots
they're good for your heart
they make you see better
they make you smart

carrots, carrots
jumping up and down
they can smile
they can frown

carrots, carrots
large and big
i took a carrot
and made it into a wig

carrots, carrots
wonderful toys
i use it and stick it up the anuses
of small boys

parrots, parrots
they squawk

---------------------( hehe.  humor in the last one. )-----------------------

yeah, that was pretty funny, wasn't it?

----( mmmm. )----------------------------------------------------------------

time for the fishawack story

i hope that fishawack will be fun
i hope that the dialchix will love me
i hope that i'll look cool compared to them
i hope that i'm not too much of a dork
i hope that i'll get free sex
i hope that i'll get free food
i hope that i'll get free affection
i hope that people will know who i am
i hope that epsilon process will say "your my hero"
i hope that smooth will show up and bow to me
i hope that ann+rosie+the other aim crew that i used to know a long time ago
       will love me and stuff and they'll like me in real life and that
       they're all cool people and that we'll have fun

--------------( that wasn't a story, idiot, it was a poem, kinda )-----------

yeah, well FUCK YOU, DIVIDER.

----------------------------------( wax houses )-----------------------------

time for bad ascii art

here's a roll of toothpaste.
                  ____
                 |::::|
             ____|----|____
            |              |
            |              |
            |   tooth      |
            |     paste    |
            |              |
            | (don't forget|
            | to brush your|
            |   teeth)     |
            |______________|
            |(c) dental co.|
            |______________|

here's, uhh... a cassette

                      ___________________________
                     |    w0ol-on-tape #10       |
                     |      _             _      |
                     |     (_)  _______  (_)     |
                     |         |$$$__$$|         |
                     |                           |
                    |     (c) w0ol recording co.  |
                    |_____________________________|

here's a big letter "w"
                     www           www
                     WwW     W     WwW
                      WwW   WwW   WwW
                       WwW WwWwW WwW
                        WwWwW WwWwW
                         WwW   WwW
                          W     W 0ol

                               that was really easy to make.

--( eleet diz )--------------------------------------------------------------

i've been doing lots of dizzes recently.  i like them, 'cuz i think they're
funny.

           +------------------------------------+
           | y0lk #94: spinsane's story         |
           +------------------------------------+
           |   ::::::                           |
           |   |x  x|    you can go blind from  |
           |   |  b |    jacking off too much.  |
           |   | ___|  / believe me.  it's all  |
           |    \ U/     chronicled in y0lk     |
           |   __||__    #94: my story.  (well, |
           |  | spin |   it's not, but you can  |
           |  ||sane||   infer it..)            |
           |   |____|                           |
           +------------------------------------+

                       +------------------------------------------+
                       | y0lk #93: a joltcola y0lk                |
                       +------------------------------------------+
                       |     xx                                   |
                       |     ||     look.  i am but a simple      |
                       |    /  \    bottle, yet i wrote for       |
                       |   |::::|   y0lk.  are you not            |
                       |   |jolt| / impressed?  you should be.    |
                       |   |cola|   which is why you should       |
                       |   |::::|   vote for me for new jersey    |
                       |   |____|   governor.  line c, column 3.  |
                       |                                          |
                       +------------------------------------------+

       dick says:
                    my social security #
         ,;;,    /  is 567-68-0515.
        G oO D
         : + \   -  i am not a crook.
          \_gg|
          /|_|\  \  read y0lk.
         `-\_/-'
           | |
           |_|

                                ________________________________
                               | bighurt returns to y0lk.       |
                               |                                |
                               |                                |
                               |                !#!#%#!%!##!@   |
                               |                |  bighurt  |   |
                               |  i'm back,     | -[o][o]-  |   |
                               |   guys!#   --  |    //     |   |
                               |              / |     o     |   |
                               |            /   |___________|   |
                               |     guys?!         |   |       |
                               |________________________________|

----( wow.  i think i put too many dizzes in there. )------------------------

yeah, i did, i think.

---------------------------------------( wrap it up )------------------------

well that's all for this issue of w0ol.  thanx for reading#!#!



---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +----------------------------------
oh my god, do we have another writer? really? teehee!@ i just wet myself!#
---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------

this is so you can find them:

       #1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle)
       #2: the electric santa (nettle)
       #3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle)
       #4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle)
       #5: no comprende? (nettle)
       #6: the annual collage issue (nettle)
       #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ (nettle)
       #8: we force you into unbearable positions (nettle)
       #9: a in-depth look at why my life sucks (nettle)
       #10: big smelly dogs are my heroes and stuff (phorce)

wow

-------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------

nettle
(i am a giant helicopter)

ascii man
(who is he!@?)

phorce
(k-rad elito)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

nettle:

[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]

phorce:

[email protected]

thats it..

-----------------------+ useless archives +----------------------------------

ftp:

nevermind.lag.novasys.com : /pub/w0ol
landslide.openix.com : /ftp/phorce/w0ol

morse code:

the top of springfield avenu, ill have a flashing light there encoding
w0ol 24/7.

if you would like to contact w0ol send email to
[email protected], if you want to have a letter displaayed
in one of our issues as a question/comment type thing, email
[email protected], if you would like me to murder your
parents email [email protected], thank you.

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