Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title Author
Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
From The Editor................................Scott Hollifield
Letters to the Editor..........................BTN Readers
BBSing In The Real World.......................Damion Furi
Installing 4DOS on a PC........................Jeffrey Morley
Principia Discordia............................Discordians
Local Music in January.........................Judy Ranelli
Carnal Chameleon Quarterly [promo].............Chris Mohney
Disktop Publishing Association [promo].........Mark Maisel
The Bill of Rights.............................Our Founding Fathers
BTN ProFile: Gwendolyn Norton..................The Bishop
Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden
Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff
We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage
due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
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of such damages occurring.
With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
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Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
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please forward a copy of your publication to:
Mark Maisel
Publisher, BTN
606 Twin Branch Terrace
BHAM, AL 35216
(205) 823-3956
We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.
The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
charge to any existing upload/download ratios.
ADAnet One Alter-Ego Bone Yard
Bus System Channel 8250 Crunchy Frog
DC Info Exchange F/X BBS Gateway BBS
Homewood's Hell Hole Joker's Castle Lemon Grove
Martyrdom Again?! The MATRIX Milliways BBS
Night Watch The Outer Limits Owlabama BBS
Owl's Nest Playground Safe Harbor
Southern Stallion Starbase 12 Teasers BBS
T.G.U.E. BBS Thy Master's Dungeon Weekends BBS
(Please note that this list includes some systems which are not local to
Birmingham and therefore not included on our BBS Numbers list.)
If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
me know via The Matrix or Crunchy Frog so that I can post your board as
a free BTN distributor. Thanks. SH
BTN PUBLISHES THE CORRECT NUMBERS FOR THE CRUNCHY FROG!
For the first time in our new administration,
the BBS list is accurate, at least in this regard.
(See Known BBS Numbers list at the end of the issue,
to verify for yourself.)
BTN WRITERS WANTED! DESPERATELY!
See "From The Editor" for details.
Well, I hope everyone had a decent December, whatever holiday you may
celebrate.
Thanks to the holidays, this issue will be a little late getting out,
and it'll also look a little different from most issues. Instead of
all-original material, I had to scrounge a little to get enough articles
to make a whole BTN.
The 4DOS article was written two or three years ago by Jeffrey Morley; I
took it from the Crunchy Frog's download library. Not knowing anything
about the subject, I hope SOMEONE can still find it useful. Also, from
the Frog's libraries, we're printing an excerpt from the Principia
Discordia, a tome of wisdom written by some very strange people who
would probably like for you to give them money. Whether you do so or
not is completely up to your own free will, such that it is. And
you'll notice that I slipped in a piece of very choice reading, of which
everyone should be cognizant: the Bill of Rights to our nation's
Constitution. Desperation on my part, true, but you could find worse
things to read.
We still managed to get in a few pieces from our local and beloved
stable of writers. The Bishop's ProFile on Gwendolyn Norton, which he
turned in about five minutes too late for last issue, is here, and Judy
Ranelli continues her opinion-spiced recap of the coming month's
musical events. And please welcome Damion Furi to our little family.
You'll be seeing more of his writing here, since I have no less than
two more of his articles ready to be published.
To boot, we also have another letter. Hey, not too bad after all.
Still, if we want to see something a little more original than excepts
from the Constitution, more contributions are going to have to come in.
If you have any kind of writing at all, I'd love to see it. The way you
submit something to BTN is, you upload it as a private submission to The
Matrix or the Crunchy Frog, and let me know about it in a private
message. That's it.
I'm running so late this month I don't even have time for a proper
editorial. So let's get to the rest of the issue.
This is a response to the latest BTN issue [Dec. '92, "BBS Business
or Hobby"]. This may be added to the ongoing comments in that article.
I've already expressed to Rocky how valuable the Matrix has been to me,
starting a business, and watching two toddlers as well, The Matrix has
been both a wealth of information I would not have time to search out at
the local libraries, and a outlet for my state of mind. As far as the
direction of BBS's I feel that lies with the operators intent. As a user
I will decide which one fit my needs, when they do I intend to
contribute in some way, as I do on the Matrix, and feel the subscription
cost on the Matrix to be one of the best investments I ever made.
However even with the gracious amount of extended time I enjoy from
subscribing, I try to never stay online for one session for more than an
hour. Yes I paid my money but I feel it no different than if I was
keeping people at the library from enjoying something because I'm too
greedy to get out of the way and give someone else a chance. So, while
I am a consumer, in so many words, I feel an obligation to respect the
board that I contribute to and be courteous to others. And more
important to be attentive to the operator of the boards concerns. If he
or she is worried anbout their lines being tied up, then I will do my
business and chat some other time when I see less people on line. I
think that most people(I may be wrong) are willing to comply with any
little needs that the board has. At any rate I'm greatful to anyone who
has taken the time to provide a BBS to the public.
I purchased my first modem in the Spring of this year. I paid $80
for a QuickTel 9600/2400 fax/modem. I knew that wasn't very fast, but I
was more interested in the fax capability - it was the cheapest "fax
machine" I could find. The professional benefits of having an internal
fax card are too numerous to mention here, and beside the point as well.
A few months prior to this, a friend of mine had introduced me to a
few local BBSs (The Crunchy Frog and The Matrix, and one or two others),
but I had all the responsibilities I could eat and didn't have the free
time to indulge in "calling a bunch of computer geeks."
Talk about being outside looking in!
I think about my old attitude sometimes, and I'm able to laugh at
myself and acknowledge how much I've grown and how much I've learned
thanks to the Birmingham area's BBS offerings. I owe more than I could
ever hope to repay to the sysops out there that have been extremely
generous with their time, their advice, and their technical knowledge.
I owe a similar debt of gratitude to the many users out there that have
been equally helpful. I could easily clog up this issue with a list,
but I won't do that. I'll simply say, "Thanks!" to those who have been
so helpful, and take it on faith that they know whom I'm addressing.
The Birmingham area BBS community continually amazes me. It is
almost as if none of these people have ever taken part in the rude,
selfish, self-centered so-called "real" world.
Oh, sure. There are obnoxious people on the boards. I'm not
saying otherwise. But they are outnumbered roughly 100 to 1 by a
generous, helpful, intelligent, educated, and informed user base.
Offline is another story...
I knew a fair amount about computers before I signed on to my first
BBS with my new modem. I can't begin to describe the blow to my ego
when I discovered, first, that I was out of my depth, and second, that
here were several thousand people that knew much more about computers.
I felt almost as if I had never touched a computer before!
What it boils down to is this: I experienced my first case of
culture shock. For the most part, I've gotten over it. But I still
endure minor flashbacks occasionally. It keeps me somewhat reigned-in,
if not exactly humble.
I've been very active on the boards ever since I discovered the
variety of people and interests available - which amazes me, because I'm
not the most sociable person on the planet. And, too, I had thought, at
first, that I would be more interested in trying to swallow The Matrix's
file directories whole than in carrying on online conversations. As it
stands, I have downloaded relatively few files at all.
My phone directory carries more than 100 BBS numbers, though I am
active on only a handful of them. I maintain accounts on most of them,
though, for odd occasions and odder moods.
I spend quite a bit of time playing on the modem. I won't try to
estimate it, though, because I don't really care to confront that much
fact all at once. Suffice it to say that I spend enough time online -
or on online-related activities - that people have made jokes about me
disappearing from the "real" world entirely.
But I have thought about that. Some people would prefer that I do
"normal" things, like watch television or read the newspaper. Well, I
despise television, and newspapers aren't a hell of a lot better. I
listen to NPR, switch back and forth between 95 & 99, and listen to my
tapes. I pick up more hard facts, information, and ideas from the
boards. Otherwise, I read a lot. That pretty well accounts for most of
my free time.
The "real" world? Screw it. If push comes to shove, the "real"
world sucks. It stinks on ice. I can smell it from here. The people
are obnoxious, arrogant, ignorant, provincial, and rude.
I've been told to "get a life." Why? I have two lives, and I'm
happy with both of them. I live with my girlfriend and her two
children, and I work and I play. And then I have my life on the
boards...
------
Damion Furi owns Freelance Support Services, an administrative
and computer support service primarily serving other
freelancers, which he runs from home.
I have now installed the 4Dos operating system replacement on my PC
at home, and have to say that this is the finest piece of ShareWare
to come along since List (or possibly Qedit). 4Dos replaces the
DOS command processor (Command.Com), adding a slew of new INTERNAL
commands, and enhancing many of the old. The real advantage of
4Dos is that it can replace many of the TSR and utility programs
that you currently have, with instant online help, and all DOS
original commands supported.
Why do I say that you can replace TSR and utility programs? Look
at what it did for me...
My old program: Replacement:
------------------- ------------------
Move.Com - Moves files Internal Move command
across Dirs and Drives. including across drives.
History or Ced Internal command line
Command line edit/recall. edit/recall with options.
KeyFake or Stakcey Keyfake capabilities built
Fake keys to progs/batch. in - Driver in Config.Sys
Sweep - Perform actions Internal Global command.
across directories.
DelBut - Deletes all "but" Internal Except command.
specified filespec. (Works on ALL commands,
not just DEL.)
Various SDir Cdir... Internal enhanced DIR with
directory programs. tons of options!
CDD - changes directories Internal CDD command.
and drives with one command.
Various environment editors Internal ESet command to
change environment.
Tons of Xtree clones to Internal Select command to
manage files. perform point/tag & shoot
actions on files.
PushDir/PopDir - to save Internal PushD and PopD
the current directory in commands to do this.
a batch, and restore at
completion.
All of the commands that I have listed as internal (including an
interal version of LIST itself!) are truly internal. They execute
instantly!
Let's go on with a few goodies, before I start with the warnings/tips:
* The batch file commands have been enhanced and added to.
* Commands can be stacked on one command line with separator char.
* ECHO can be turned off at bootup, eliminating @Echo in .BAT files.
* Internal Stopwatch to time program execution.
* Built in capability to add descriptions to directories.
* Fantasic Alias command, much like CED's alias capabilities.
* Enhanced ANSI.SYS included, with better speed and more functions.
* 4Dos can be loaded into 64K of EMS memory (all but about 5K), or
"disk swap" mode if you have no EMS. This means 4Dos takes up
LESS memory than IBM/MS DOS 3.3, with lots of added capabilities.
* So far, I have found 4Dos to be comletely at home on my system.
I have a 20mhz 286 class machine, with 1 meg of EMS (not EEMS,
but it's not required for 4Dos operation.) I am also running
VFeature 2.7 to partition a 60meg drive - RLL'd (Omti) to 91meg.
I have a Paradise bottom-of-the-line VGA card. There have
been no conflicts with IBMBIO or IBMDOS, and all DOS commands
function normaly (except those replaced with commands of the
same name, and those work better!).
Now the warnings/tips:
Tip!
4Dos should NOT be the entry in the Comspec environment variable,
as shelling out to another command processor in this case will
eat up 57k of additional RAM memory. You should boot from 4Dos,
and then be sure to set Command.Com as the Comspec entry. I will
give an example of this in a second. This is needed becuase the
second 4Dos command processor loaded via any kind of "shell" will
load the entire 57K program into RAM. Shelling to Command.Com
will solve this, although you won't be able to use the interal
4Dos commands while in the shell. You are supposed to be able
to load the second 4Dos command processor in EMS as well, but I
have found this method to be a tad touchy, probably because I
use the rest of my EMS for caching.
Use the following line in your Config.Sys if you have EMS:
SHELL=C:\4DOS.COM /S:E /E:1024 /p
or this one if you don't have EMS, and want to "disk swap"
the program. Don't worry, it's still VERY fast:
SHELL=C:\4DOS.COM /S:D /E:1024 /p
Use the following line in your Autoexec.Bat:
SET COMSPEC=C:\COMMAND.COM
Now when you ALT-R out of QModem, you will be "shelling" to
Command.Com (6K) instead of another copy of 4Dos (57k!).
EXIT still returns you to your program, and back into the
4Dos environment.
Tip!
4Dos has an internal LIST command, and this functions much like
Vern Buerg's LIST.COM. But it ain't... You may want to
use the ALIAS command to set up the following alias:
ALIAS LIST=C:\UTIL\LIST.COM
This will force 4Dos to use the loadable LIST.COM in your
\UTIL directory instead of the internal version.
Tip!
The 4Dos internal DIR command defaults to sorting the directory
by filename, so be careful of using things that are dependant
on where in the directory the files are listed. An example of
this would be PCopy's /F: /L: parmeters to start/stop at certain
files. You can use the /OU parameter on the DIR command to get
an unsorted listing.
Tip!
I suspect that the version of ANSI.SYS supplied with the program
may have a few bugs, or conflicts with my hardware in some way.
I can't consistantly get bright colors with the esc[1;xxm command,
and some things using DOS/ANSI calls have come up in strange colors.
Speed106.Com (a little gizmo to test your processor speed) now is
in Cyan instead of the normal Yellow. I have gone back to using
NAnsi or ZAnsi or even DOS' original ANSI.SYS. They work fine in
the 4Dos environment though.
My conclusion is that 4Dos may well be the answer for many of
you who like the power you get using lots of TSR and utility
programs, but don't want to give up the RAM or the time lost in
loading them. The version I have been testing is 4Dos 2.0(a), and
is available on my system as 4DOS20A.ZIP. Don't forget that you
are REPLACING your command processor, so be sure to:
1) READ the documentation that comes with the program. I have
given some brief examples of a setup for MY machine, but
you may want/need to modify parameters.
2) Back-up your hard drive before installing.
3) Have a DOS boot disk handy in case you don't have the same
success I did.
Jeffrey S. Morley
Sysop, The Interconnect BBS
(703) 827-5762
(A file consisting of excerpts from the PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, a non-copyright
book which serves as a "bible" for Discordians. It may answer some
questions about Discordianism -- but, then again, it may not.)
(Eris = Goddess of Confusion; slightly adapted from Greek mythology.)
(For the complete book, write to: Loompanics Unlimited, PO Box 1197, Port
Townsend, WA 98368 - unsolicited advertisement.)
PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
The Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger
(excerpts) ALL RITES REVERSED (K) REPRINT WHAT YOU LIKE
Dedicated to the Prettiest One
POEE is one manifestation of
the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
about which
you will learn more and understand less
We
are a tribe
of philosophers, theologians,
magicians, scientists,
artists, clowns,
and similar maniacs
who are intrigued
with
ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION
and with
Her Doings
"There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a
trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true"
--Neils Bohr.
ON PRAYER: Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed
to Eris. He replied with these words: No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is
much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of
ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently
-- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.
THE LAW OF FIVES:
The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first
revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come
from the Hidden Temple of the Happy Jesus.
POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also
recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr.
Mordecai Malignatius, KNS, into his Discordian sect, the Ancient Illuminated
Seers of Bavaria.
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR
ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
APPROPRIATE TO FIVE.
The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo
from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest
the harder I look."
POEE (Pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for the
PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to
mean "equivalent deity, reversing beyond-mystique". We are not really
esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us.
MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High
Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded his episkopotic revelations of The
Goddess.
The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian
Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by
temporaly and spatially locating the rest of Mal-2.
POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's
pineal gland, and has only one scruple -- which Mal-2 keeps on his key
chain.
POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the
State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which
is only fair, because POEE does not recognise the State.
ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST:
There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you
want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtably qualify. Who could
possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained?
NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
The Discordian Society has no definition. I sometimes think of it as a
disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerilla mind theatre.
Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld
Movement sect in Larchmont. prefers "The World's Greatest Association of
What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK
TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you
like.
An EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total
autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him.
He speaks for himself and for those that say they like what he says.
The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one
who prefers not to create his own sect.
If you want in on the Discordian Society
then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like and tell us about it
or if you prefer
don't.
There are no rules anywhere.
The Goddess Prevails.
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in
it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in
it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
-- HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
CONVENTIONAL CHAOS
GREYFACE
In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface,
got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began
to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious
Order. "Look at all that order about you," he said. And from that, he
deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and
not the happy romance as men had known it.
It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular
time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the DISORDER around them
and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took
the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and
were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed
from their own.
The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from
a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and
frustration causes fear. And fear makes a bad trip. Man has been on a bad
trip for a long time now.
It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. If you are not hot for philosophy,
best just skip it.
The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Erisitic
Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man
made CONCEPTS and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level
deeper than is the level of distinction making.
With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality
through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-
about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are
forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures,
see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ.
Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper than is the level of
concept.
We look through the world through windows on which have been drawn
grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is
a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view
chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it.
The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle.
Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid
with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that
will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners)
be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC
ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful
than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True
than any other.
DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular
grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female,
is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or
vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The
artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong,
is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC
ILLUSION.
The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative
to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth,
metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and
through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick
another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and
disordered.
Reality is the ultimate Rorschach.
THE LAST WORD
The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through
many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be
the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn't
always say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are
sometimes told quite different things in their Revelations, which are also
the Word of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other
than POEE, then none of these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame
that you have read all the way down to the very last
word.
Sun. 3
REV. HORTON HEAT/BARKING TRIBE at The Nick
Okay, I know you may be reading this too late, but the Rev. Horton
Heat is going to be at the Nick and he is well worth the hangover Monday
morning. If you missed it, and are a dedicated follower of cool bands,
you can see him at the Ivory Tusk in Tuscaloosa on Monday the 18th. His
excellent rock-a-vegas album was produced on a four track. Barking
Tribe opens featuring a new drummer, keyboardist and saxist.
Mon. 4
ITCHY WIGS at The Nick
I zipped over to their December show on my break from work last week
to see 10 minutes of Mark Kimbrell's innovative jazz guitar. The 15
minute drive there and back was time well spent. Go see this.
Thur. 7
TONY LOMBARDO QUARTET at Dugan's
My brother plays drums for this jazz quartet, but I like them
anyway. Tony Lombardo, guitarist, is also the teacher of a UAB Special
Studies class about the Andy Griffith show. Also Thurs. 14.
Fri. 8
HILLBILLY FRANKENSTEIN/MAN OR ASTROMAN at The Nick
I told you Hillbilly Frankenstein is a kitchy-Blue Velvet
soundtrack-Russ Meyers film poster band last month. And as an added
bonus, Man or Astroman is a weirder-than-50's-sci-fi-fans-watching-"Plan
9 From Outer Space"-and playing-Twister-band.
Wed. 13
PINKY THE STABBER at The Nick
They play three Wednesdays this month: the 13, 20, and 27. They
did 'Felize Navidad' for me for Christmas. And they are mind blowingly
good.
Sat. 16
DEREK TRUCKS at The Nick
Irregardless of whether or not you like Allman Brothers covers, it
is strange to see a preteen boy playing perfect slide guitar.
Especially if, like me, you never figured out how to play slide in the
first place.
Sun. 17
VOVA NOVA/AUTUMN LORDS at The Nick
Birmingham giants Vova Nova are performing with Autumn Lords,
featuring Chris Lowery (formerly of Electric Circus) singing, and
several other fellows I don't know. Chris dented my car hood by
pushing a Nick bartendress onto it in a drunken parking lot dance. But
he is quite talented and we have affectionately dubbed him "Lush King".
Mon. 18
SPACE CAMP at The Nick
No, the Nick is not paying me for these endorsements. It's just the
way the band lineup fell together. Space Camp just gets better and
better. Don Tinsely is the high priest of cheap speaker feedback and I
am his humble follower.
Wed. 20
SPIN DOCTORS at The Alabama Theatre
You like 'em? Go see 'em. I don't know anything about them. But I
like the Alabama.
[tickets available through Fastix]
Fri. 22
FIVE EIGHT/TOMBSTONES at The Nick
Georgia onslaught. Bring ear plugs. Wear dance shoes. Or drive to
Pensacola and see me play at Sluggo's.
Sat. 23
THURN AND TAXIS/THE SLEEPYS at The Nick
Someone told me Thurn and Taxis is a great band. I will be off
work, so I'll probably go see them.
Wed. 27
MR. BUBBLE/OTEYS at The Nick
Happy Sam Timberlake, my amp repairman (and he's a good one), who
used to live in a pink house, writes strange and inventive ska-pop with
upbeat melodies and cynical lyrics. I like them.
Sat. 9
STRUTTER (a "Kiss cover band")
Sat. 30
DUST AND BONES (a "Guns and Roses tribute band")
at Louie Louie
I saw the Back Doors' singer imitate Morrison. I saw Stairway to
Heaven's drummer plod through the solo on 'Moby Dick' for at least 10
minutes with triggered lights flashing. I was embarrassed for them.
Some people enjoy tribute bands, and since they only rarely tour through
here you might want to give one a try. *I* don't want to see someone
imitate Axl Rose; however, seeing blood spatter and flames fly in a
small club might sound tempting enough for me to peek in on Strutter's
show. But if you're gonna see this, why not spend some money some other
time on a local band? We need you.
REMEMBER: All Dates, Locations, Performers, ad infinitum SUBJECT TO
CHANGE.
----
Judy Ranelli plays guitar for a local band called the Ticks,
and knows more about being hip than you do.
[The following is a unpaid promotional announcement. My payment is, as
always, the continual furtherance of justice and truth in the world.
-SH]
Feeling left out because you're not a card-carrying member of the
cultural elite? Then suffer no longer, friend!
ANNOUNCING ..... the debut of the Southeast's newest and most profoundly
innovative small press magazine. After a long and painful struggle, not
unlike giving birth to a mongoloid with an unusually large skull
diameter, the first issue of Carnal Chameleon Quarterly is completed and
ready for sale. Edited-in-chieftanship by Chris Mohney, called by some
"the most powerful man in show business," CCQ prominently features the
best in new-wave protosurrealist metafiction, with some poetry and
artwork thrown in. For the first issue, in addition to the usual crowd
of Yanks, we have writers from England and Canada as well, so splurge on
a copy and recreate yourself in your own image. Sample copies are
$4.50, and subscriptions are $14.00 a year (4 issues). Check or money
order payable to Carnal Chameleon Quarterly.
We're also looking for submissions of poetry, fiction and artwork for
the succeeding issues. Complete guidelines can be had by sending an
SASE to our address below, or you can just go ahead and submit. We're
also open to correspondence, comments and suggestions.
Send all missives to:
Carnal Chameleon Quarterly
PO Box 11206
Tuscaloosa, AL 35486-9669
[Here follows a reprint of the DPA promotion we ran last month. Some
editions of the December BTN made it out without this item, so I said
I'd print it again. It was submitted by Mark Maisel. - SH]
Disktop Publishing Association
Official Member
Announcement
November 1992 is Disktop Publishing Month
The Disktop Publishing Association (DPA) is publicly promoting
paper-free publishing this November for the first time. This form of
publishing covers a wide world of electronic publications. The DPA is an
Association of computer users who are interested in writing, publishing,
distributing and reading electronic documents of all varieties.
DP includes fictional works, technical and reference documentation,
instructional material, catalogs and directories, poetry, hardware and
software reviews, magazines, and every other imaginable category of
publication. Each is prepared electronically with an ASCII text editor
or word processor. They are then edited electronically for spelling,
punctuation, grammar and content. A reader software package must be
selected depending upon the document type and content. Graphical images
may be included in VGA level documents and readers. They are then
distributed via disk, via BBS and via E-Mail systems.
Paper-free disk based publications are the trend of the future in
document publishing for individual authors, corporations and governments
alike. They save time, money, and natural resources while providing more
writers the opportunity to publish works important to their respective
field. The ease with which revisions, updates and new editions are
published literally makes the printing of paper based documents
obsolete. Contact the Disktop Publishing Association today for more
information.
Ron Albright
Disktop Publishing Association
1160 Huffman Road
Birmingham, AL 35215
Phone 205-853-8269
Fax 205-853-8478
BBS 205-854-1660
The First Ten Amendments to the Constitution of the United States
(otherwise known as The Bill of Rights)
1st Amendment
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech,
or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the government for a redress of grievances.
2nd Amendment
A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free
state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be
infringed.
3rd Amendment
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quarters in any house, without
the consent of the owner; nor in time of war, but in a manner to be
prescribed by law.
4th Amendment
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers,
and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be
violated; and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported
by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be
searched and the persons or things to be seized.
5th Amendment
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise
infamous, crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury,
except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia,
when in actual service, in time of war, or public danger; nor shall any
person be subject, for the same offence, to be twice put in jeopardy of
life or limb; nor shall be compelled, in any criminal case, to be a
witness against himself; nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property,
without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public
use, without just compensation.
6th Amendment
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a
speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district
wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have
been previously ascertained by law; and to be informed of the nature and
cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him;
to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to
have the assistance of counsel for his defence.
7th Amendment
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed
twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved; and no
fact, tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the
United States than according to the rules of the common law.
8th Amendment
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor
cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.
9th Amendment
The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be
construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
10th Amendment
The powers not delegated to the United States shall not be construed
to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against
one of the United States by citizens of another State or by citizens or
subjects of any foreign state.
-----------
The ProFile is a light-hearted attempt at allowing the BBS community
to get to know the selected user or sysop better. The harassees...er...
candidates for the ProFile are selected purely by random (or maybe not -
read up on 'chaos'). If anyone has any suggestions for questions to be
included in the ProFile or for users to be harassed by the ProFile, then
feel free to E-Mail them to me (The Bishop on Crunchy Frog, or Aaron
Dees on most other boards in town)...
-----------
PRO FILE: Gwendolyn Norton
Age: 17
Birthplace: Durham, NC (known to locals as Duuuuuuurm)
Occupation: Student and god
My hobbies include: Knitting exciting underwear for llamas and lamas
Years telecomputing: Almost 1
Sysop, past/present/future of: None, none, and someday I will have an
entire LlamaNet Empire and take over the world and
force all who oppose me to listen to '70's dance
music.
My oddest habit is: My handshaking fetish
My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: to shake Albert Eistein's hand
The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is: remembering
which fork to use first
My favorite performers are: Monty Python, Jim Cummings (he does almost
every cartoon voice on FOX), Tony the Tailess Llama,
Gorbachev (he faked the coup for publicity)
The last good movie I saw was: AKIRA
The last good book I read was: The Metamorphosis or The Vampire Lestat
If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
by:
Elvis. He came over last week and discussed the deal extensively
with me. Unfortunately, he wanted more money than the production
could offer. However, the aliens that brought him back for a
visit said that they are more than willing to give give the part
a go.
My pet peeves are: Writing a message of incredible wit and humor and
having no one reply to it. I also hate it when I walk into
doors.
When nobody's looking, I like to: Count my vertebrae to make sure
that they're all there. Sometimes I get other
people to do this for me (blindfolded, of course!
Otherwise they'd be looking.)
SIG's (Special Interest Groups), Computer Related
-------------------------------------------------
BEPCUG CCS
Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South
Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library
Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128)
3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga)
Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM
BCCC BIPUG
Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group
POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg
Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541
UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week
2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday)
Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883
BACE FAOUG
Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users
Enthusiast Group
Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library
2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM
Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200
CADUB BGS/CIG
CAD Users of Birmingham Birmingham Genealogical Society/
Homewood Library Computer Interest Group
3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM Birmingham Public Library
Bobby Benson 791-0426 3rd Floor Auditorium
2rd Sunday, 2:30 PM
Robert Matthews 631-9783 or
Bone Yard BBS
RAHSPCUG
Ramsay Alternative High School PC Users Group
Ramsay High School
1800 13th Avenue South
last Wednesday of each month (September-April)
from 3:02-3:35
Lee Nocella 581-5120
SIG's, Non-Computer Related
---------------------------
BBC Birmingham Astronomy Club
Blue Box Companions Subject: Astronomy
Subject: Dr. Who Red Mountain Museum Annex
Hoover Library 4th Tuesday, 7:30PM
1st Saturday, 2PM-5PM
If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed,
please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on
The Matrix BBS.
Mark always told me that updating the BBS list was ten times more time-
consuming than everything else involved with BTN, and he was right. In
fact, this process is so tedious, I'm going to cut back very very
slightly on the way I do this.
Don't panic! Just keep reading. Normally, I call every board every
month, and check the conference listings to see if any networks have
been dropped or added. However, this is not always easy to do.
Sometimes I'm not sure about the status of a network or something, and I
have to drop the sysop a line about it, which involves calling back
before deadline.
So for this month, I didn't take the trouble to check everyone's network
connections. I checked SOME of them, but I didn't go very far out of my
way to do it. And this not to say that I won't have time to do it next
month. I'm just letting everyone know that the networks section of the
list is not as studiously verified as it once was. In a lot of cases,
just making sure that the board was still up satisfied me.
This is more important for sysops than for non-sysops. If you're a
sysop, I strongly suggest that you examine your listing with a keen eye
and let me know if the networks, or anything else in the listing, needs
updating. And if any non-sysops notice anything that needs changing,
that would also be ultra-peachy fine-cool.
As said elsewhere, I can most easily be reached via email on The Matrix
or Crunchy Frog.
- Scott Hollifield
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE
SUPPORTED TYPE
The many symbols you see prior to the names of many of the bbs' in the
list signify that they are members of one or more networks that exchange
or echo mail to each other in some organized fashion.
ad = ADAnet, an international network dedicated to the handicapped
ag = AgapeNet, a national Christian network, multi-topic
al = AlaNet, a local network, multi-topic
an = Annex Network, uncertain at press time
bc = BCBNet, a local network, religion-oriented
bh = BhamTalk, a local network, multi-topic
cc = City2City, a national network, multi-topic
cd = CDN, a national Christian network for file distribution
cf = CFN, a national Christian network, multi-topic
di = Dixie Net, a regional network, multi-topic geared toward the south
eastern United States
do = DoorNet, uncertain at press time
ez = EzNet, a local IBM compatible network
fa = FamilyNet, an international network, multi-topic
fi = FidoNet, an international network, multi-topic
gl = GlobalLink, an international network, multi-topic
gt = GTNet, an international network, multi-topic
he = HellNet, a local network, multi-topic
hs = Home-School-Net, a national network for home schooling
ic = ICDM, an international Christian network, multi-topic
il = ILink, an international network, multi-topic
in = InterNet, an international network, linking businesses,
universities, and bbs', multi-topic
lo = LocalNet, uncertain at press time
lu = LuciferNet, an international network, adult oriented
ma = MAXnet, a local network, connecting WWIV and VBBS systems
mj = MJCN, an international network for Messianic Jews
ml = Metrolink, an international network which echoes RIME, multi-topic
mr = MajorNet, an international network, multi-topic
np = NPN, a national network for new parents
or = OraNet, a national E-mail network
pl = PlanoNet, a national network, multi-topic
pr = PrideNet, a local homosexually oriented network
ri = RIME, an international network, multi-topic
sc = Science Factor Net, a national network, science and technology
oriented
se = SEC, a regional network, homosexually oriented geared toward the
southeastern United States
sh = Shades N Shadows Net, a national network for role-playing games
sl = SearchlightNet, a national network, multi-topic
st = StudsNet, a national network, homosexually oriented
te = TECHnet, a local network, hardware and utility oriented
th = ThrobNet, an international network, adult oriented
tr = TriBBS Net, a national network, multi-topic
un = Uni'Net, an international network, multi-topic
ve = VETLink, a national network for military veterans
vi = VirtualNet, an international network, multi-topic
wi = WildNet, a national network, multi-topic
ww = WWIV-Net, an international network, multi-topic
If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let me
know via a message on the main board of The Matrix or Crunchy Frog.
The following BBSs appeared to be down or malfunctioning the last time I
tried to verify their existence. If you have any information on their
status, please drop me a line.
The Castle Forest Palace Genesis Online
Island BBS Posys BBS Viper's Pit
