BTN:  Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1990

October 1990    Volume 3, Issue 9

Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title                                  Author

Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
Editorial Column...............................Mark Maisel
EZ-Reader 1.33: A Review.......................Ricky Morgan
ProFile:  Special Quadrophile..................Chris Mohney
? Why I Compute ?..............................Andy Anaconda
Music Reviews..................................Tyros & Dean Costello
From De Kitchen................................Chez Stephan
A Game Review..................................Karsten Propper
Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff

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Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN

We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication.  We assume no responsibility for
damage due to errors, omissions, etc.  The liability,if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.

With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles.  We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication.  If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue.  It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers.  Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright.  We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions.  The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained.  If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:

Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219

We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it.  We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.

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                          N E W S  F L A S H

We are going to have another party!!!  This past summer, for the good
parties we got to have, it just wasn't enough!  We are going to invade
Rocky's again for another Halloween Masquarade Party!!!

The following is a map to his place from the main streets in downtown
Birmingham near UAB.  Rocky and I both will gladly offer more directions
over the phone for any who need them.  Please be advised of Rocky's
house rules in the invitation/map before you arrive so you know what to
expect.

                            Rocky's Rules

1.  Bring your own whatever so long as it is legal.
2.  If you are a minor, then stick to soft drinks.
3.  Costumes are mandatory.

         <--- Downtown      20th Street         Homewood --->
         ����������������������������������������������������
         ������������͸ �������������������������������������
                      � �
                      � �        MAP TO BTN HALLOWEEN PARTY
                      � �              ROCKY'S HOUSE
          UAB         � �11th      HOME OF The MATRIX BBS
         CAMPUS       � �Ave.
          AREA        � �       Rocky Rawlins (205) 323-6608
                      � �       Mark Maisel   (205) 956-0176
               ���Ŀ  � �
     Business  �   �  � �              ��  (Next to the   � �
         &     �   �  � �              ��   last house    � �
    Engineering�   �  � �              ��   on the right) � �16th
      School   �����  � ���������������������������������� �Ave
  (3 story brick)     � ��������������Ŀ�������������X���Ŀ �
                      � �    11th      ��    1426    �� �۳ �
                      � �    St S.     ��    11th         � �
                      � �              ��    St. S        � �

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        F R E E B I E :  G E T  I T  W H I L E  I T S  H O T !

The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
charge to any existing upload/download ratios.

The Connection          LZ Birmingham           Alter-Ego
Channel 8250            Bus System              Joker's Castle
Crunchy Frog            Myth Drannor            Posys BBS

If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
me know via EzNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
distributor.  Thanks.

MM

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Editorial
by Mark Maisel

    Time for another issue.  How about that?  I actually have a few
things to say this time around so get ready for some enlightenment.

    I read several trade papers and magazines each week, don't ask how
I get them, and there seems to finally be a movement toward a standard
in 9600 baud modems.  I had been putting hopes on V.32 as a standard
that manufacturers would gravitate toward despite its drawbacks, no
error correction or compression.  V.42bis looked very promising to me as
it combined, at least to my feeble understanding, the best of V.32 plus
MNP errror correction/compression.  Unfortunately, it did not look like
the modem makers wanted to standardize.  It now looks as though that has
changed and all the new modems that anyone would use with PC's are V.32
and V.42bis compatible.  They are cheap, relatively speaking.  Intel is,
YES INTEL!; is now offering a 9600 baud modem that is V.32 and V.42bis
compatible for a suggested retail price of $799.  This could easily
translate into $450-500 on the street and mail order for a modem from a
company that is not known for low to reasonablly priced hardware.
Microcom, the originators, if I remember right, of MNP, also have a
comparably priced modem ready to go and it supports up to MNP level 10,
whatever the hell that is.  US Robotics, makers of the HST and Dual
Standard modems, very popular these days, recently started an upgrade
program for their modems already in use.  For $50, an owner of one of
the newer models of HST or any DS, could upgrade their modem to handle
V.42bis.  USR's newest incarnations of these models come with V.42bis.
Can you say standard?  With the final coming of a standard, prices will
be dropping like a rock.  Be looking for a drastic increase in boards
and users who have these very fast and efficient modems.

       We have come above ground, so to speak.  From my understanding,
Carter Shanklin, a user many of you, no doubt, have seen on local boards
thought we were interesting enough to tell a reporter about us.  The
reporter apparently thought we were interesting enough for an article in
the Birmingham News.  It appeared a few weeks ago on the front page, no
less. I have had my concerns and voiced them but the place for that is
not here.  If you missed the article, try to find someone who has it.
There is a hilarious picture of Rocky, clean shaven, with his computer
room, CLEAN!!!  I think he must have spent a week getting it to that
state as it has never been so spotless in all the years that I have
known him.  If you can't find a copy of the article or picture, then you
will have to wait to see the Matrix computer room at the Annual
BTN/Matrix Halloween Party!

       Off-line mail readers have become quite popular in the last
month or two in Birmingham.  They have been used for quite a bit longer
in other places.  This is not the first time however, that they have
been offered in Birmingham.  How many of you have been BBS'ing long
enough to remember Pinson Valley BBS?  It was the first board in town to
carry nationally echoed message bases and it also had a mail door, and
off-line reader software for those who prefered to take their time in
answering mail or read so much it could not be read in one on-line
session.  I remember and I tried the software.  It was slow, kludgy, and
annoying to say the very least.  If you or the BBS screwed up a packet,
your message pointers were destroyed and you had to manually try to find
your place and catch up before you got another packet.  Needless to say,
this soured me on off-line readers... until now.  I tried EZ-Reader at
Randy's request and I entered into it with every bit of prejudice I had
from my earlier experience.  I found EZ-Reader to operate almost exactly
as the old software had done excepting that it was much faster and
recovering lost pointers was easier thanks to the MarkMail door on
Randy's system.  I have found myself greatly enjoying the Bytebrothers
conference on Crunchy Frog, but that is another story.  It averages 150
messages per day and it is tough trying to read every message on-line
and reply to those of interest.  Jimmy Pearson, who moderates BB, was
talking about some new and wonderful mail reader he was testing, and
then, one day last week, he said it had been released.  I promptly found
myself a copy and for those of you who have not noticed, I have been
using it like a fiend.  Life is much easier with this reader.  A review
is on its way and the reviewer, per our agreement, is at liberty to
distribute it or hold it over anyone's head who wants it badly enough.
What the hell, life is not kind so why should he be, we both reasoned.
I am sure it will find its way onto local systems very soon.  The name
is Silly Little Mail Reader, SLMR or Slimer for short.  The filename to
look for is SLMR10.ZIP if you are inclined toward such things.  I would
suggest that anyone with an interest in off-line reading take a look at
it, especially those who have never used an off-line reader.  Even the
documentation is entertaining.

       Whew, almost done!  I know you are still reading this absolutely
delightful, disjointed, alleged editorial and for this, I thank you and
I will give it up very soon.  This issue has some very interesting
things in it.  Speaking of off-line mail readers, Ricky Morgan presents
a most complete and informative look at EZ-Reader for those of you
considering using MarkMail doors that are popping up around Birmingham.
For those of you already using EZ-Reader, you may find some helpful
hints for making even better use of EZ-Reader.  Chris Mohney is doing
strange things these days and his ProFiles are no exception.  Those of
you who frequent MetroNet on Channel 8250 or Matrix will know the
victims of what Chris calls his Quadrophile.  Those of you who came to
the last BTN party will know 3 of the fellows as they attended it.  Our
world is expanding and its size is shrinking.  Who'd 'a thought it?  At
long last, the long desired, on my part, Why I Compute? column has come
to life.  Thank you Andy!  I would like to see all of you contribute to
this since all of you are victims of computers, so to speak.  Music
Reviews is back and this time it is another format put together by Tyros
and Dean Costello.  I have been hearing lots of interest in this column
but no more articles have arrived at my doorstep or even offers to try
to write any.  Lets go people!   Chez Stephan, after far too long an
absence for my liking, is back, and with a vengeance.  His recipes are
once again sure to tickle your tastebuds and satisfy your appetite.  My
perennial reviewer, Karsten, has been downloading games again.  Please
Mr. Sysop, don't drop his security.  It is for an article in BTN.  See
what he has to say about the game he got this time around.  The BBS
listing is full of changes, this time on the part of the boards.  Use it
to your hearts desire as each board on it has been called at least once
during the last month.

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                              EZ-Reader
                           * Version 1.33 *

                        Review By Ricky Morgan


    Last month I gave you a look at how the MarkMail system of off-line
mail retrieval worked.  MarkMail being the system that you use to
capture mail and download it to your system in a zip file.  The MarkMail
packet you receive is pretty useless by itself.  Enter EZ-Reader, the
off-line mail reader that is the answer to all your needs.

    Together, MarkMail and EZ-Reader allow you to spend a minimum of
time on line, yet will let you read every message on a bulletin board as
well as reply (should you be so inclined) to every message.  I'm rarely
on-line more than two minutes, during a mail run.  Of course during that
mail run, MarkMail captures all new messages, any updated bulletins, new
News and a listing of new files.  You could, conceivably, use the vast
majority of your on-line time just wading through half of this.

    So for a minimum of on-line time, I get the maximum the BBS allows
me, with time left over for browsing, chatting and
uploading/downloading. Is it any wonder more boards are going to the
MarkMail system?  Two boards (The Bus and The Crunchy Frog) have added
MarkMail since last month.

    So, let's look at how Ez-Reader works.  First a very brief over
view of how the two work together:

              1.) Log onto a BBS that has MarkMail
              2.) Enter the MarkMail Door and Download a mail packet
              3.) Log off the BBS
              4.) Run EZ-Reader
              5.) Read, reply and/or enter new messages.
              6.) Save your replies in a .REP file (this is automatic)
              7.) Log back on to the BBS.
              8.) Upload the .REP file
              9.) Log off/upload/download/chat (whatever) with your
                  remaining time.

    That's all there is to it; once you have everything configured
properly.  Rest assured, the set up process is, for the most part, swift
and painless.

    In this particular review I will be dealing strictly with EZ-Reader
Ver. 1.33.  There are still some earlier versions floating around but to
my knowledge 1.33 is the most up to date.

    Installing EZ-Reader is simple.  UnZip the file into a
sub-directory of your choosing and run install.  From there on out it is
pretty much answering multiple guess questions in order to get EZ-Reader
working with your system.  Probably the toughest area to get working
properly is the Editor; and even that is simple.  While EZ-Reader comes
with its own editor (PC Magazine's TED editor), I would suggest using
your own editor.  That way there is no need to re-learn a new editor.
All this is completely configurable to match your desires.

    Speaking of configuration.  Once you have the files unzipped and
start the install program you will be greeted with:

                        CONFIGURING EZ-READER

                            � CONFIGURE �
                            � Archive   �
                            � Colors    �
                            � Editor    �
                            � Flags     �
                            � Hot Keys  �
                            � Paths     �
                            � Replies   �
                            � Save      �
                            � Taglines  �
                            �����������ͼ

    You can select the option of your choice to open the window and,
once finished, press Escape to close the window.  Your first choice
should be selecting the Archive option.  This is where you tell
EZ-Reader what type of archive the .QWK files will be in.  Most of the
boards around town use PKZIP.  Don't let the QWK extension confuse you.
The file is still in a ZIP format.

    I am not going to attempt to cover the entire configuration
procedure, as it is well documented and basically simple.  I do want to
touch on an item or two that seem to cause confusion.  The first being
the editor set up.

  EDITOR:
  -------

 ����������������������������� EDITOR �����������������������������Ŀ
 �                                                                  �
 � Editor: PE2                                                      �
 �                                                                  �
 � Options: /Q                                                      �
 �                                                                  �
 �   Reply filename: REPLY.                                         �
 �                                                                  �
 � Message filename: MSG.                                           �
 �                                                                  �
 � Does the editor accept two files on the command line [Y/N]?: Y   �
 �                                                                  �
 ��������������������������������������������������������������������

    EZ-Reader will need to know the name of the editor you choose to
use. Full path names will need to be used if the program isn't in the
EZ-Reader directory or your path statement.

    The option field is for any optional switches or commands you wish
to load when calling up your editor.  You don't need to include the file
name of the message; EZ-Reader does that for you.  This option is for
loading Macros into you editor, skipping the opening screen, etc.

    The Reply and Message filename options are the names EZ-Reader will
use to create the message and reply files in your editor and can be any
valid DOS file name.  Extensions are optional.

    If your editor will accept two file names on the command line
answer yes (Y) to the last question.  This will allow you to switch
between the original message and your reply.  This is useful for
referring to, marking and copying (ie. quoting) the original and
stealing other peoples taglines. My editor doesn't allow two file names
on the command line but once EZ-Reader loads my editor I can open my
reply file and toggle between the message and reply.  The possibilities
are limited only by your editor and your knowledge of it's abilities.

    Another item that casues some problems seems to be in the
Re-Arcing option.  It is under the reply window.

  REPLIES:
  --------

                            �� REPLIES Ŀ
                            � Prefixes  �
                            � Re-Arcing �
                            �������������

    These are those cute little, RM>, type prefixes that show up in the
message when you quote someone.  You may select INITIALS, NO for no
prefixes or YES and define your own.  I'll leave that process to the
more adventuresome of you.

    Re-Arcing can be a bit confusing.  EZ-Readers DOCS cover the entire
process very well and since the process can get complicated if you don't
understand, I'm just going to say: Read the DOCS.  Keep one thing in
mind.  When you Reply or enter a new message, EZ-Reader creates a .REP
file.  This is the file you upload back to the system.  It is very
possible AND highly likely that at some point in time you will
accidentally upload a reply packet that can contain duplicates of old
messages.  It happens.  Don't worry, I haven't heard on any ones
security level being decreased because of it (there are some rumors of
crucifixions but they are just that; rumors).  Just watch the .REP file
and read the DOCS on the subject of replies.

    Now, another thing to remember is this.  While in EZ-Reader you are
viewing the messages.  When you get ready to enter or reply to a
message, EZ-Reader will prompt you for certain info; depending on where
you are.  Once you accept the information, you will be placed into your
text editor for actual message/reply entry.  Once you have that figured
out all should run smoothly.

    When you start up EZ-Reader you get the usual copywrite message and
after pressing <F10> you hit the main menu.  EZ-Reader will list the
available files (remember you will need to download a MarkMail Packet
before you can go any further).

    Once you choose a Mail packet, EZ-Reader will un-archive the mail
packet into its work directory.  Then you may read new Mail, Bulletins,
News, etc.  A conference listing will be presented, showing any
conferences with new mail.  EZ-Reader gets all this info from the .QWK
file from each board so it is always up to date.

    Once you select a conference you will be placed into the mail
viewer and begin to read mail. From the viewer you have access to the
following commands:

              Summary of Commands in the Message Viewer

            +    View the next message
            =    View the next message
            -    View the previous message
            _    View the previous message
        <Enter>  Go to the next message
        <Space>  Page through the message and go to the next message when
                   we reach the end of this message
          <Esc>  Quit reading the messages
            A    Address Book (available in registered copies only)
            B    Bulk mark multiple messages
            E    Enter a new message
            G    Go back one message
            I    Select an individual message to look at
            K    Kill a reply
            M    Mark the message for archiving
            P    Print the current message
            Q    Quit reading messages
            R    Reply to the message you are reading
            S    Save the current message
            T    Change the Thread order
       <Ctrl><PgDn>    Jump to the start of the next thread
       <Ctrl><PgDn>    Jump to the end of the previous thread

    Because of size restrictions, I'm going to, once again, leave it up
to you to figure all these out for yourself.  Most are pretty self
explanatory.

    Sooner or later, you'll want to enter a message or reply to someone
elses message.  Lets take a quick look at that process.

    When entering a message or reply, EZ-reader prompts you with
specific information, ie. the person you are addressing the message to,
the conference you wish the message to go in, etc.  You may let
EZ-Reader prompt you with this info BEFORE you enter the message or
AFTER you enter the message.  The message information window looks like
this:

          �������������� Message Information ������������ͻ
          �                                               �
          � From: RICKY MORGAN                            �
          �                                               �
          �   To:                                         �
          �                                               �
          � Subj:                                         �
          �                                               �
          � Conf: 0   Main Board                          �
          �                                               �
          � Private: N        Send Copies: N              �
          �                                               �
          � Current tagline:                              �
          � EZ_Reader; simply the best!                   �
          �                                               �
          � <F1> - Help                                   �
          � <F5> - Address Book    <F6> - Add Tagline     �
          � <F7> - Tagline ON      <F8> - Pick Conference �
          � <F9> - Accept/Edit     <Esc> - Exit/Cancel    �
          �����������������������������������������������ͼ

    If you are replying to a message, certain fields will be filled in
for you.  You may still edit them.

          �������������� Message Information ������������ͻ
          �                                               �
          � From: RICKY MORGAN                            �
          �                                               �
          �   To: MARK MAISEL                             �
          �                                               �
          � Subj: Your article is LATE!!                  �
          �                                               �
          � Conf: 12  BTWNA                               �
          �                                               �
          � Private: N        Send Copies: N              �
          �                                               �
          � Current tagline:                              �
          � AWWW!  Mark, blow it out yer. . .             �
          �                                               �
          � <F1> - Help                                   �
          � <F5> - Address Book    <F6> - Add Tagline     �
          � <F7> - Tagline ON      <F8> - Pick Conference �
          � <F9> - Accept/Edit     <Esc> - Exit/Cancel    �
          �����������������������������������������������ͼ

    At this point you can <F9> Accept the info and you will be placed
in your editor.  You can change the conference, tagline etc.  On-line
Help is available by pressing <F1>.

    You also have the option of sending carbon copies of the same
message to other people.  You can set up a list of up to 20 names in the
carbon copy list and each person will receive a copy of your
message/reply.

    There is MUCH, MUCH more to EZ-Reader but if I keep going, I'm
simply going to end up with another copy of the documentation.  I'm sure
no one wants that.  So let me close out with the thing every body want
to know about TAGLINES.

  TAGLINES:
  ---------

    You may have up to 50 taglines per tagline file.  You may have
multiple tagline files and provisions are included with EZ-Reader to
allow you to switch files.  The possibilities are unlimited.

    Over all I have been well pleased with EZ-Reader and I think you
will too.  There is a lot I didn't have space to cover.  The main point
I would like to make (and I feel is the most important) is that
EZ-Reader IS simple to operate.  Don't let the configuration examples
scare you. I have found EZ-Reader, used in conjunction with MarkMail, to
be superb in operation and reliability.

    Plus it allows me to actually KEEP up with all the conferences and
messages on each board with out living "ON-LINE".  I can read the mail
when I choose too or as time becomes available.  Try it.  I, for one,
think EZ-Reader is well worth the $25.00 registration fee.

           * EZ-Reader is a copyright of Thumper Technologies, 1988-90
           + Qmail is a copyright of Sparkware, 1988
           + MarkMail is a copyright of Mark Turner, 1988

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

ProFile
by Chris Mohney

    ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
notorious Hat.  Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect.  Anyone who wishes to
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
knowledge may take the same route....


           SPECIAL BONUS ECONOMY-SIZE LIP-SMACKIN' FEATURE:

    With the advent of Metronet, we here in Birmingham have seen a lot
of the folks over in Georgia.  Since our never-ending mission here at
BTN is to educate the heathen, here is a bit of infotainment consisting
of the ProFiles of four of the most prominent Metronet denizens.

---------

      Quadrophile on  KEVIN BUCHAN
                      JEFF FREEMAN
                      GARY HASTY
                      MARTIN KROLL
---------

Age:
 KB - Too old to hang out at the teen clubs and too young to go to the
      adult ones.  (Umm ... that comes out to an even two decades.)
 JF - 24
 GH - A ripe and tender yet adventurous 22
 MK - 42


Birthplace:
 KB - Miami, Florida - aka "Little Cuba"
 JF - Chatsworth, Georgia
 GH - Marlaville (Dalton, Georgia)
 MK - Bluefield, West Virginia

Occupation:
 KB - Full-time BBS'er, Student, and Carpet Order Proccessor
 JF - HVAC & electrical contractor
 GH - Programmer/Analyst (full time), Personal Savior (part time)
 MK - Lift Truck Service, Sales, & Parts

My hobbies include:
 KB - Getting lost in Birmingham, answering questionnaires, computers,
      raquetball
 JF - Computers, guns, pets, reading
 GH - Comics, Pub Crawlin', Bashin' Edwin, Wrasslin'
 MK - Computing, bow hunting, guns, "tinkering"

Years telecomputing:
 KB - About 8 months.  Been on message bases even less time.
 JF - Started in 1980 or so
 GH - I don't know.  Off and on maybe 2-3 years ... you pick.
 MK - 10

Sysop, past/present/future of:
 KB - Future sysop of "The Spider's Web."  It shall be the single most
      wonderful BBS in all of Dalton.  It'll have files, messages, two
      nodes with HST's at both, a toll-free number, CD-ROM drives ...
      umm, maybe I'm just dreaming.
 JF - Front Porch BBS
 GH - Jeff "Squeal like a Pig" Freeman
 MK - Fort Mountain BBS

My oddest habits are:
 KB - Stroking my chin in the manner of a man with a beard even though
      I couldn't grow one to save my modem.
 JF - Hmmm ... can't think of the most odd (heh)
 GH - Basically talkin' to myself as I scan this damn packet of 600
      messages ... and liking it!
 MK - I only pick my nose in private

My greatest unfulfilled ambition is:
 KB - To finish college with my MA degree in Textile Engineering and
      enter the job market (read: rat race)
 JF - To be wealthy enough to do as I please
 GH - To lick John Waters' hands
 MK - To pilot an F4 or greater

The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is:
 KB - Getting my external protocols to work correctly, consistently.
 JF - Being half the man my grandfather is
 GH - Going to a Church of God seminar on Satanic Rock-n-Roll and not
      being asked to leave within the first 10 minutes ... I was also
      X'ed out by Rev. Jim (Leader of the God Squad) at Ga. Tech as a
      sinner ...
 MK - I'm still alive

My favorite performers are:
 KB - Pink Floyd (older stuff), Tom Petty
 JF - Clint Eastwood and various others
 GH - Foetus, Dead Kennedys, Seka, Robert Tilton
 MK - Eddie Murphy, Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Candy Evans

The last good movie I saw was:
 KB - Young Guns II.  I saw it in Birmingham, too!
 JF - I rarely go to the movies, but I'll watch whatever comes on HBO
      or Showtime ... sad.
 GH - OC & Stiggs (I enjoyed the social meaning)
 MK - The Abyss

The last good book I read was:
 KB - The Dragonlance series by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.
 JF - Non-fiction
 GH - The comic book TICK
 MK - Trading with the Enemy

If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played by:
 KB - Either Matthew Broderick or Arnold Scwarzenegger.  Matthew has
      style and finesse to pull off the character traits and Arnie has
      a comparable body.
 JF - Someone with a sense of humor with enough balls to tell the
      director to stick it when he starts changing the facts.
 GH - Dennis Hopper
 MK - Me, of course!

My pet peeves are:
 KB - People who play stupid, people who rearrange my stuff, people who
      get drunk at parties they've never been to before.
 JF - People with attitudes, bimbos looking for cash
 GH - People who WHIIIINE, blind faith, New Kids, people who DARE to
      take me seriously ...
 MK - People doing 40 in the left lane on 55 mph four-lane

When nobody's looking, I like to:
 KB - Put my spider on my shoulder and BBS in my underwear.
 JF - Call long-distance BBS's
 GH - Fondle Jeff's dawg
 MK - Scratch my nuts!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

?  Why I Compute  ?
by Andy Anaconda

    What a strange question. I have never really put much thought into
it to tell you the truth. I use my machine at work, at home and at play.
I use it to access information systems when I'm writing papers for
school. I use it to project sales and track inventory at work. I use it
to roam the "Land of the Lounge Lizards". I use it to keep track of
every day events, as well as what small sums of income I might glean
from my company. But why do I compute? The first thing that comes to
mind is, because it's there. It is more than that though.

    Computing is something I draw great enjoyment from. It is my way of
unwinding and letting go of the everyday mundane world we all have grown
accustomed to. It is the wave of the future as well as a sign of the
times. Whether it is tracking a space shuttle flight or projecting the
total sales for next month, I draw pleasure from the speed and accuracy
my machine allows me. It is as if there is a special place my computer
can take me where the worries of the world seem not quite as foreboding
as before. My computer is a trusted and reliable friend. Always there
for me when I call and not a bother when I need my own space. It may
sound strange but it is a friendly companion.

    The interaction with other people through the local and national
BBS communities also has quite a bit to do with the reason I turn my
machine on daily. Having no formal training in computers or computer
science, most all of what I have learned has come from the help of
friends I have made over the phone lines. Virtually all of my knowledge
in the BASIC language came through reading and studying programs that
others had written. By adding my own bells and whistles to these
programs and seeing just how someone else had solved a certain problem
in their own special way, I was able to increase my own knowledge and
proficiency. The local BBS scene provides me with entertainment and a
wealth of knowledge I would not otherwise have at my disposal. If I'm
having a problem with an application or need a certain type of
interface, the answer is only a phone call away. We are very fortunate
here in Birmingham to have such an extensive array of boards and above
all such a dedicated group of Sysops. Most all of the system operators
in this area will bend over backward to help anyone with any type
problem they are encountering. My hat is off to these people. They just
don't get the credit they deserve.

    So why do I compute? I compute for the fun and the fellowship that
is offered to me by simply pressing a button, listening for a few beeps
and whirs and then prest-o change-o, the world is at my fingertips. What
more could a person want? Very little I'm quite sure.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Music Review
by Tyros & Dean Costello

                   NURSERY CHRYME - Genesis  (1971)

Tyros:  Slightly skeptical I was, slightly skeptical about hearing a
       Genesis album, especially one of the early ones that seem to be
       representative of Dean's passion <ahem> for '70s art rock.  Was
       I converted?  No.  That doesn't change the fact that this stuff
       is what I had feared it was all along: darn good. It's kind of
       interesting in a way to hear what was obviously the building
       blocks for latter day artsy types like Kansas.  Lots of keyboard
       effects with thumpety-thumping drums in the back to ensure it
       makes it into the "rock" section at the record store. It's very
       self-involved music, and it all seems to run together, but it's
       SO well crafted, I can't help but feel like it's not completely
       worthless.


Dean:   "Nursey Cryme" is what I would consider state-of-the-art art
        rock circa 1971.  This was the way Genesis was supposed to be,
        with a real drummer, guitar player, etc., etc.; and not the
        backing band for Phil Collins.  This version of Genesis
        consisted of Peter Gabriel (Lead Vocals and flute), Tony Banks
        (keyboards), Phil Collins (drums, and only drums), Steve
        Hackett (a mean guitar), and Mike Rutherford (bass).  It has a
        nice orchestral feel to it, in that there is a lot of Mellotron
        strings and such so that there is always a lush, textured feel
        to the music. Not quite as bad as Geoff Downes and his "Wall of
        Sound" playing, however. The opening track, "The Musical Box"
        starts with a hunk of minstral- sounding music complete with
        flutes and a little acoustic guitar work, plus Gabriel
        whispered lyrics. The song than kicks into a very nice harder
        rock section, where the organ is used as a rhythmic device
        while the drums and bass go their merry way. Hackett's guitar
        work is just as scorching as anything that is generated today
        by the numerous Van Halen clones, and a damn sight better than
        most.  He was said to be the first to use the finger-tapping
        method that Eddie Van Halen made so popular in "Beat It"; with
        a hallmark of very precise, very judicious playing.  The song
        than slips back into minstral mode for a while, and then Tony
        Banks gets a chance to strut his stuff for a while. This song
        is indicative of the entire album, which shows the problem with
        this album is that is shows the die-hard Genesis fan what the
        band could have been like. Right now, most people associate
        Genesis with such songs as "Invisible Touch" and "Tonight,
        Tonight, Tonight", which to me is a sad reflection that Genesis
        is the backing band for a Phil Collins bent on reducing them to
        another pop band, a la Billy Joel or Jefferson Star- ship.
        Genesis still hits its stride every so often, as is evidenced
        by "The Last Domino" and "The Brazilian" on Invisible Touch, or
        "Home by the Sea" and "Second Home by the Sea" on Genesis; but
        for those of us that when they think of Genesis, "11th Earl of
        Mar" comes to mind, or "Firth of Fifth", or "Squonk", or "Dance
        on a Volcano".  But, alas, most of the stuff that Genesis
        generates does not equal this, and thusly makes this album that
        much more bittersweet.


Dean:    Tyros, you make art rock out to be this evil influence generated
        by Trevor Horne.  What's the big deal about it?  I happen to
        like the slew of keyboards, the slightly overproduced feel to
        it, the lyrics that really don't matter, all that kind of
        stuff.

Tyros:   No, art rock isn't evil - just superfluous.  You almost admit
        that liking the stuff is a guilty pleasure - as it should be.

Dean:    Superfluous?  You could very easily make that claim about any
        type of music, not just art rock.  What makes you single art
        rock out?

Tyros:   Because of almost any genre, this kind of music is almost
        obsessively keyed on overdoing it.  It's painfully obvious that
        even when Genesis or Yes go the minimalist or acoustic route,
        it's out of a pronouced aim to be self-consciously significant
        - and it's a sticky trap that nearly all British musicians in
        the main- stream are stuck with these days because of bands
        like Genesis.

Dean:    But Tyros, you can still make that claim out of dance music and
        'pop' music that is of the Terry Louis/Jimmy Jam mold.  You
        cannot in all consciously single out 'art rock' as being
        overproduced, etc., given that almost all music is
        'overproduced' these days.  I like to think that Madonna and
        Whitney Houston kind of say it all for me.

Tyros:   Which illustrates a completely different problem of
        perspective. But we're not reviewing Madonna, and more
        importantly, I'm not singling out Yesesis to the point of
        shutting everything else out. What I am saying is that it's
        easy to see how all of the rampant overtexturing in pop music
        today might have been learned from the early '70s period.

Dean:    Ooooh.  The Dale Carter method.  When in doubt, use debating
        tactics. Is your position that weak, chump?

Tyros:   I don't have a position, I just call'em as I see'em.

Dean:    Oh yeah?  <whap> .........


               PORCUPINE - Echo and the Bunnymen (1983)

Dean:    Well, I now know what happened to all of the gear used by Big
        Country.  They apparently had a fire sale, and sold it all to
        Echo and the Bunnymen.  The vocals have that whiney lilt that
        we all know and cringe from in English noveau music.  The
        guitars sound like bagpipes. The drums sound like "Rythms, by
        Roland". But you can dance to it, if you are so inclined.
        Doesn't change out of 4/4 to save its life.  This is on the
        first song, "The Cutter".  Also, I am halfway through the third
        song, and hoping against all hope to hear a key change.  I am
        not optimistic.  Tyros, their ostenbible fan, doesn't know what
        they are singing about.  A libretto, a libretto, my kingdom for
        a libretto. Basically, this is music of the genre defined by
        REM about 5 years ago. Icky pseudo-pop that "Rolling Stone"
        magazine loves. I do hear a hint of U2 on the song "My White
        Devil", more specifically, it sounds like they have obtained
        The Edge's guitar work (albeit without the bagpipes) from
        "Bullet the Blue Sky", and Ian McColloch (sp?) sings like he is
        in a Bono Sound-Alike contest. And it gets worse.  The rest of
        the album sounds like, well, U2.  The vocals that are echoed
        into oblivion, the mystical stringy noise every so often, the
        Important Lyrics, the chickie-chickie guitar lines.  Their
        perogative, I suppose, but Echo and the Bunnymen sure as shit
        don't sound like they have an original musical thought in the
        world. There isn't much on this album that I haven't heard
        better somewhere else, probably a U2 album. I wonder if they
        pay them royalties?

Tyros:   The Porcupine album is not the best album with which to get
        acquainted with a band like this, and it's evidence as to what
        an erratic style Echo & the Bunnymen had before they broke up
        last year. 1988's self-titled album veered in the other
        direction - slick and uninspired, it was a play for Depeche
        Mode/ New Order/U2 top-40 success that fell short of being
        successful. Porcupine suffers from the opposite problem - the
        music is written with too specific a bent, with the goal of
        reaching too small an audience. There are some nice moments,
        and I bet it sounds pretty good live, but as it is, the music
        just sort of sits there meandering through stock early-80's
        British post-new wave guitar scratching.

Tyros:   As a follow-up, Dean, I believe that you really haven't heard
        enough of this stuff to make all those snide U2 references in
        good faith.  To accuse Echo & The Bunnymen of being U2 clones
        is to fundamentally disparage nearly everything produced in
        England since 1981, and since you do that anyway, 'nuff said.

Dean:    You are being oversimplistic, Tyros.  It isn't just the
        production, but the tone of the guitar sound, the echoes in the
        vocals, the whimsical, whispy noises infiltrating the
        background. Dammit, if it sounds like U2, and it looks like U2,
        they had better start paying royalties.

Tyros:   Whimsical whispy noises condemn the music as U2-reject?  Never
        mind.  If all we're arguing about is whether or not they sound
        like U2, then there isn't a real argument.  U2 aren't gods, nor
        are they the most exciting thing to come down the pike, so
        there's no point in debating either blasphemy or wannabe. My
        position is that while there is a vague similarity, they do NOT
        sound like U2, and that's all there is to it.

Dean:    Tyros, you assume that I like U2, which is an abject falsehood.
        Few bands strike me as being as pretensious and full of
        themselves as U2. No, they aren't gods.  But it sure sounds
        like Echo and the Bunnymen sure are trying for U2 wannabe-ness.
        But this isn't about U2, it is about E&tB.  E&tB don't have
        original musical thoughts. Everything was obviously derived
        from groups of the same time and genre. And that is what has
        been bothering me, I think. Derivation is a time- honoured
        tradition in rock/pop/nouveau Brit. Ick. music.  But they could
        have at least stolen their riffs from late 70's music, as
        opposed to contemporary stuff.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From De Kitchen:

Yo, Home Boys and Girls. I have been to the mountain top and I have had
a dream. A dream of a land where food tastes good and the fixins' are
easy. Actually, after spending several months with Paul and Kay Prudehome
in New Orleans (actually Nawlans), I have come back to earth and
rediscovered the simple delight of just plain good home food. It was I
that drifted from the path not the path that had drifted from my feet.
Anyway onward and upward with some simple and delightful things to
titilate the tastebuds.


Crusty Beef-Cheese-Noodle Casserole

3 tbls. hot pepper oil (take vegie oil and soak a cayenne peper in it
                       overnight, if you want make a cup or so of this,
                       just use more peppers, good in all kinds of
                       stuff)
1 onion chopped
1 lb. of ground ROUND   get the grocer to coarse grind it
3 slices of bacon
1 can of sliced mushrooms
1 can (16 oz.) of meatless RAGU sauce
1 tsp sea salt      I started using sea salt and it is much better
1 package (8 oz.)   Egg noodles (the broad kind) COOKED AND DRAINED
1 1/2 cups of Coon Brand cheddar cheese (GRATED)
2 goods dashs of Tobassco
1/2 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp white pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp oregano

Cook bacon in oil and then crumble, add onion and cook until
transparent. Add spices. Add mushrooms and meat and cook until meat
loses color. Add sauce and heat through. Layer noodles, meat sauce and
cheese in layers until you fill the casserole or you run out of junk to
put in it. Just make sure the last layer is cheese. Bake at 325 degrees
for 1 hour. The top should be nicely browned. Makes 8 to 10 generous
servings. This can be made and frozen before you cook it if you want.
Serve this concoction with a salad and french bread. and lots of cold
beer. Set some extra Tabassco sauce on the table for the stout hearted.
This is good stuff in the winter. Make it in the morning and put in the
fridge so you can pop it in the oven when you get home from work.


JUST A HINT:

When frying chicken or mushrooms or onion rings or what ever, use
buttermilk to coat your stuff in before adding the seasoned flour
coat. This makes stuff crispier and a tad sweeter than using
regular milk or egg.


Cauliflower Sour Cream Slaw

1 large head of cauliflower
1/2 cup french dressing
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup sliced green onions
1/2 cup celery leaves chopped (Yeah The Leaves)
1 1/2 tsps. carraway seeds
1/2 tsp. sea salt

Cut cauliflower into THIN slices. In a bowl marinate cauliflower in
french dresing and chill for several hours. Meanwhile, in a small bowl
fold the onion, celery leaves, carraway seeds, and salt in the sour
cream. Drain cauliflower if necessary and toss with the sour cream.


Corn Puddin'

1 can cream corn
2 tblsps. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 stck of butter

Combine flour, sugar, eggs, milk, and stir in corn and butter. Bake at
350 degrees until firm, about 30 to 40 minutes.

Well Guys and Gals, dis is Chez Stephan. Happy smacking Dudes and
Dudettes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Game Review
by Karsten Propper

    I have chosen two Public Domain games to review. Both may be found on
most public boards. Most likely you will find it on The Matrix.  The one
I am reviewing this month is called Arcade Volleyball.

    When you load up the game by typing in "AV" (or whatever your
execution file happens to be called), a welcome screen appears showing
the two figures that you will be using throughout the game jumping
merrily up and down. You have seven options from here. Using your cursor
keys to highlight the appropriate selection, you may choose any of the
following:

Play - This obviously allows you to proceed with the game.

PL1 - This allows you to choose the method of which to control your
     figure. Keyboard, Joystick, etc.

PL2 - This allows you to do the same as above, except with player two.

Sound - This is used to toggle sound on and off.

Define Keys - Allows you to choose the keys on the keypad that you would
             like to use in which to control your figure.

Set Joystick - This is the joystick calibration mode.

Exit - Exits you to DOS

    After you have logged in all of your desires, you may now highlight
the "PLAY" option, and play the game.

    The  game is a simple volleyball match between you and the
computer, or, if you are lucky enough to find a companion, play against
him. The two figure are in a small arena. They look a lot like Q-Bert's
mutant cousins without giant holes in their noses. A ball has been
suspended in mid-air above the first player's figure. To start, you just
hit the ball by jumping in the air at the correct angle. This puts the
ball into play. Your opponent will smash it back at you, and you must
move your figure into the correct position to keep the never-ending fun
going. This game will run on a CGA monitor.

    This game, I felt, was actually very silly. The creatures were
especially goofy. I thought that this is the type of game which you
download, play a few days, and then get sick of and delete. As far as I
could tell, the author did not request any sort of a donation. From the
looks of the game, I felt that he was smart in not wasting his time
asking for money he wouldn't get.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area

   NAME                    NUMBER     BAUD RATES  MODEM    BBS SOFTWARE
                                      SUPPORTED   TYPE

*   Alter-Ego BBS           925-0707   300-2400             ProBBS/ProDoor
*   American BBS            674-1851   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
*   Bus System BBS          595-1627   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
*   Byte Me!                ???-????   9600        HST/V.42 WWIV 4.07
   Camelot BBS             856-0679   300-2400             Teleguard 2.5
-*  Channel 8250 Node 1     744-8546   300-9600    HST/V.32 PC Board 14.5
-*  Channel 8250 Node 2     744-5166   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.5
*   Crunchy Frog            956-1755   300-2400             PC Board 14.0
   D3 Systems BBS          663-2759   300-9600    HST/V.32 Quick BBS 2.04
+   Duck Pond BBS           822-0956   300-9600    HST/V.32 Opus-CBCS 1.03c
   EzNet Central           785-7417   1200-9600   HST      PC Board 14.2
   Graphics Zone Node 1    870-5306   300-9600    V.42     TBBS 2.1(16)
   Graphics Zone Node 2    870-5329   300-9600    V.42     TBBS 2.1(16)
   Hacker's Corner         674-5449   300-2400    MNP4     PC Board 14.5
+   I.S.A. BBS              995-6590   300-9600    HST      TCOMM
*   Joker's Castle          744-6120   300-2400             PC Board 14.0
   K-9 Corner              424-8202   300-2400             Image 1.2
*   Little Kingdom Node 1   969-0007   300-9600    HST/V.42 PC Board 14.5
*   Little Kingdom Node 2   969-0008   300-2400    MNP4     PC Board 14.5
   LZ Birmingham           870-7770   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
*   Magnolia BBS            854-6407   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.2
@   Missing Link            853-1257   300-2400             Image 1.2
^   Myth Drannor            699-5811   1200-2400   MNP4     WWIV 4.11
   Outside It's America    951-2473   300-2400    MNP4     WWIV 4.11
   Owl's Nest              680-0851   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
   Panic Zone              870-0434   1200-4800   MNP4     Vortek 1.47
@   Pirate's Cove           942-7429   300-1200             Image 1.2
   Posys BBS               854-5131   1200-2400            RBBS CPC17.3
*   Radio Free Troad        979-6183   300-9600    HST/V.42 PC Board 14.2
   Safe Harbor             665-4355   300-2400             GT Power 15.00
   Shadetree BBS           787-6723   300-2400             Phoenix 1.36
   Sperry BBS              853-6144   300-9600    Hayes    PC Board 14.5
*   ST BBS                  836-9311   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
@   The Commodore Zone      856-3783   300-2400             Image 1.2
   The Connection          854-9074   1200-2400            PC Board 14.1
   The Dog House           425-9255   300-1200             Image 1.2
   The Hanging Tree       ?938-2145?  300-2400             WWIV 4.11
   The Kingdom Of Teletech 674-0852   300-2400             WWIV 4.11
-   The Matrix Nodes 1-4    323-2016   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
-   The Matrix Node 5       251-2344   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.5
   The Outer Limits        985-1725   1200-2400            Teleguard 2.5i
   VCM(ee) BBS Node 1      655-4059   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
   VCM(ee) BBS Node 2      655-4065   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
   Victory Express         425-0821   300-1200             Image 1.2
   Willie's DYM Node 1     979-1629   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
   Willie's DYM Node 2     979-7739   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
   Willie's DYM Node 3     979-7743   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
   Willie's DYM Node 4     979-8156   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
   Ziggy Unaxess           991-5696   300-1200             Unaxess

Boards with a "*" before their name are members of our local network,
EzNet, and public messages left in the EzNet Conferences of any of these
boards will be echoed to all members.

Boards with a "@" before their name are members of our local Commodore
network, Image Network, and e-mail left on any member board may be
directed to any other member board.

Boards with a "+" before their name are members of FidoNet, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

Boards with a "-" before their name are members of MetroNet, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

Boards with a "^" before their name are members of WWIV-Net, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
know via EzNet.

           Ed. Note - The Hanging Tree is being moved and the new
           number, the one within question marks in the list, is
           supposed to be the new number as of the 2nd week of October.
           Please don't try to call prior to 10/7.MM

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

EzNet Multiple Echo List

    EzNet now supports multiple conference echoing but there are a few
things you should be aware of regarding private mail.

 A. You have one 'address' for private mail.  If you are registered for
    private mail on Channel 8250 and someone sends you a private
    message in the MS-DOS conference from Crunchy Frog it will wind
    up in the Hardware conference on Channel 8250 as it should.

    However, if you were registered for private mail on Magnolia and
    someone sends you a private message in a conference that Magnolia
    does not support (echo) then the message will wind up in the
    twilight zone.

 B. If you go by a handle on one BBS and your real name on another even
    if the private message goes where it is supposed to, you will not
    be able to read it because it is addressed to someone else as far
    as PC Board is concerned.  PC Board has no way of knowing that Red
    Foxx and John Doe are the same person. No tickee, no washee.

    Advice on sending private mail: If you don't know if the person you
are sending private mail to is registered for private mail then keep a
copy of the message in case you have to find an alternate route. EzNet
Central will delete your private, undelivered message and inform you
that the user you attempted to reach is not registered for private mail
on any EzNet Node.

    This is a list of the current echoes that I am aware of.  More are
in the making and will be posted in future issues.  If you are a sysop
and are running an echo not listed for your board, please make us aware
of it so we may correct it next issue.


                   Eznet  Program   IBM    Adult  Scitech  BTNWA

Alter-Ego ........... * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
American BBS ........ * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
Bus System BBS ...... * ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..... * ..
Byte Me! ............ * ..... * ..... * ..... * .....   .....   ..
Channel 8250 ........ * ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..... * ..
Crunchy Frog ........ * .....   ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..
Joker's Castle ...... * .....   ..... * .....   .....   .....   ..
Little Kingdom ...... * ..... * ..... * ..... * ..... * .....   ..
Magnolia BBS ........ * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
Radio Free Troad .... * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
ST BBS .............. * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..