*******************************************************************************
****** ******
****** The FIXER is back with ******
****** PRANKS, REVENGE, and GENERAL MAYHEM vol. 13 ******
****** (The Onslaught Continues) ******
****** ******
****** This time 'round: ******
****** "NOOO0000!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! NOT..... ******
****** "STILL MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS" !! ******
****** ******
****** Call the NEW Neutral Zone /// 10 meg AE/GBBS 6044781363 ******
****** BC Tel Phone Mart GBBS 6046581586 ******
*******************************************************************************
*SIGH* Well, I have been collecting new Krazy Glue Tricks for six months now
and it's high time I put them in a file..... So without further ado.......
Basically Krazy Glue Tricks involve making things incapable of operating by
freezing the inner workings. So it should come as no surprise that these and
all other Krazy Glue tricks have an amazing similarity, like they are all
brothers and sisters (incestuous little buggers), but this only adds a new
dimension of evil to them.............
Buttons.
I have expounded in the past upon Krazy Gluing many things but buttons have
been largely ignored. Here I will explain the expected results of pushing a
button and Krazy Gluing it in that position.
- Keys on a Pay Phone: New Phone Time!
- Elevator Buttons (try the top few floors): people will begin to wonder just
why every trip the elevator makes an unscheduled stop at each of the top 10
floors.
- Keypad on a Remote Control. Do this one button per day. The victim will
be able to tune fewer and fewer stations every day and this is what is known
as SLOW TORTURE, boys and girls. And that's what this file is all about.
- This also works well on those phones with a row of buttons for its
"quick calling" demon dialer. Every day freeze a button from most frequently
used to least. If you do this in conjunction with the remote control or
other such keypad devices, the torture grows exponentially. And the damage
is often irreparable (as Krazy Glue solvent doesn't ONLY dissolve Krazy Glue)
- I have often told of pouring Krazy Glue into the keys of a computer. But
why not just do the REPT key and see how much fun we have...if the victim is
a real stiff he will have the keyboard ROM replaced before he figures out
that the REPT contacts were glued down and the key and spring left working...
- Some intersections are controlled entirely by the WALK button. So it seems
that if that button were pressed continually the light would turn red every
thirty seconds instead of, well, never if it was left alone... During rush
hour this can get good, but don't do it if you live in Southern California
near a freeway...You're too young to die.....
- Got an enemy with a satellite dish? You say his folks watch the bible
bangers network? PERFECT. On Saturday Night go and move his satellite dish
to point at a sat with a porno channel on it. Before doing this try to get
in his house somehow and Krazy Glue the tuner to the transponder channel of
XXX Network or whatever. Krazy Glue the dish in that position. USE LOTS.
That porno is the only thing they will get until they fork out mega-bucks to
get it all fixed, and if they were expecting Jim and Tammy, they are in for
a massive shock. Shock and Torture. Could there be two more beautiful
words?
- Well, Son, it's January the 5th, high time we took the Christmas Lights down
off the house. Sure, Dad, if only they weren't Krazy Glued to the
eavestroughs, and the switch, breaker,and outlet all Krazy Glued so we can't
turn them off. Well, maybe we can just unscrew the bulbs. Yeah, but they're
stuck in somehow............
- Ski Season! Look at them skis on the roof rack of the car that just pulled
into the parking lot! Let's wait till they're gone inside and make sure
those skis don't get stolen.....by Krazy Gluing 'em to the racks! There'll
be fun on the mountain when we come....Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum.....
(NOTE: this tactic is guaranteed to produce frustration no matter what is on
the racks, but skis seem to work best as it's not usually until they've
driven 400 miles to the mountain that they even notice that the ONE thing
they need to go skiing is stuck permanently to the roof.......)
- People have been known to stick to their diets better when the fridge,
freezer, stove, and all kitchen cupboards are Krazy Glued shut, and when they
go out to the car to go hit Rotten Ronnie's, they find it Krazy Glued shut,
and when they go back inside to order a large pizza "2fer special" they find
the phone receiver stuck mysteriously to the base......
- They're moving! At last you've driven your enemy out of town! Well, don't
let 'em go without a parting shot. Before they pack up, Krazy Glue all their
furniture to the floor......
