I've been thinking a lot, lately, about identity and the Internet. | |
I feel like I should get my thoughts down for posterity and for a | |
bit of rubber ducking. | |
The things is, I've always felt like there were two "me"s: real | |
life me (Brian) and online me (echosa). I've tried to keep online | |
me somewhat private-ish and separate from IRL me. The things is, | |
lately I've been becoming more public online, largely due to having | |
started regularly streaming on Twitch. That's really the cause of | |
this whole line of thought, because I now find myself wondering: | |
Is there any difference between Brian and echosa anymore? | |
After a lot of thought and consideration, I've come to the conclusion | |
that, no, the two are now one and the same. Internet searching is | |
a thing, and because I wasn't careful enough for the past decade, | |
there's no unlinking my two identities. I'm coming to terms with | |
this, slowly, as it honestly makes me a bit nervous to realize that | |
what little bit of separation and anonymity I had is (and always | |
was) a lie to myself. | |
Several questions arise, then, from this realization. Should I have | |
made a bigger effort to keep my identities separate and secure? Do | |
I have anything to worry about? Should I scrap it all and start | |
over? Am I over-thinking this? (I over-think things all the time.) | |
That said, by no means do I plan to go plastering all my info | |
everywhere echosa exists. However, I'm trying to find the fine line | |
between not posting *anything* and posting *everything*. Phone | |
number? Nope, not going to happen. Real name? Why not, at this | |
point? Photo? ... This one is tough. My face is already on Twitch, | |
yet for some reason, I still feel some hang-ups when it comes to | |
having my face online *everywhere*. I don't know why, but it's | |
true. Probably just some psychological issue I need to work through. | |
I'll add it to the queue. I can't deny that Brian and echosa are | |
one and the same now, yet it is difficult for me to completely | |
admit and accept. Again, I have no idea why. (Thanks, brain. As if | |
I needed something else to be neurotic about.) | |
There's just something inherently frightening about being known in | |
a place that is known for being (somewhat) anonymous. Welcome to | |
the Internet, where trust is a luxury. |